Sal Pal was on ESPN today, because they had a blank wall and it wasn’t going to throw shit at itself. And since there’s little to ponder in #deflategate, Sal Pal went back to one of his commentarial crutches– the brand.
Here’s what fecal slinger Sal – FSS – had to say about the impact Tom Brady’s cheating will have on Ugg boots sales:
“Women don’t like cheaters. And what’s the number one demographic that Tom Brady tries to sell Ugg boots to? WOMEN! Guys are not going into the mall and going “let me get a pair of Uggs!” No, guys don’t go into the mall for Uggs. Women do. This was clearly motivated because Tom Brady knows, and the people around him know, that his brand is damaged by this, not only on the football field but what he sells off the football field.”
2) For correctness, Tom Brady promotes Ugg Mens– so he is, actually, trying to sell boots to men. But whatevs. I doubt Sal is ever concerned about the accuracy of the waste that spews from his lips.
3) If you’ll recall, Sal Pal and his big heaping mound of shit used the exact same argument on January 2, when he was fanning the flames about Chip Kelly leaving the Eagles (just three hours before Kelly got a promotion). Here’s what he said to Jon and Sean on 97.5 when he called for the Eagles to hold a press conference to avoid IRREVERSIBLE BRAND DAMAGE:
“There’s a constituency out there. They’re stuck in traffic right now on I-95 and the Schuylkill Expressway. They buy their kids jerseys and hats and pay for parking out the nose and pay for seats and support this team. That’s an important constituency. You have this kind of turmoil and rampant speculation and it hurts the brand in a way that’s difficult to rebuild in a short period of time.”
Sal Pal is so full of shit.
H/T to (@My_NameAintEarl)
I’ve been giggling nonstop for 15-straight hours. Might take me through the weekend, maybe a little into next week, too.
I was going to do this myself, but then figured the Internet would just save me the trouble. FOX Sports, to be exact. Here’s their mashup of Tom Brady talking balls. Balls.
Not gonna lie– as a guy with a 16-year-old’s sense of humor, this might beat the Iverson practice presser for me. Sorry. Balls.
LOL LOL THIS IS SOOOO FUNNY! THEY RED THERE LIPS WRONG ON PURPOISE! - Your great aunt, in six weeks.
But she’ll be right– this is funny. Of course Tony Romo feared for his life against the Eagles.
“Oh, I’m afraid the deflator shield will be quite operational when your friends arrive.” Photo credit: Greg M. Cooper-USA TODAY Sports
Chris Mortensen passes down word from atop Mount Goodell:
The New England Patriots had 11 of their 12 allotted game footballs under-inflated by 2 pounds of air (PSI) less than what’s required by NFL regulations, according to league sources either involved or familiar with the investigation of Sunday’s AFC championship game when the Patriots beat the Colts 45-7 to advance to their sixth Super Bowl.
“We are not commenting at this time,” said Greg Aiello, the NFL’s senior vice president of communications.
Yet to be determined is what, if any, penalties may be imposed upon Patriots. One source described the league as “disappointed … angry … distraught,” after spending considerable time on the findings earlier Tuesday.
Part of the investigation that still needs further vetting is how the 11 footballs became under-inflated. The game balls provided to each team for preparation were required to be inspected and approved by referee Walt Anderson two hours and 15 minutes before kickoff before they were returned to each team.
And here I thought TMZ would obtain video of Bill Belichick siphoning the air out of balls like bridesmaids working penis straws for vodka at a trashy bachelorette party before the league ever, ahem, caught wind of the Patriots’ actions. Can’t wait to see what happens next. This is the Super Bowl Roger Goodell deserves.
Every day. We’re going to hear about this every day.
Mark Eckel at NJ.com spoke to the ever-elusive “person familiar with the Eagles’ offseason plans,” who told him that the Eagles will attempt to make a move to get Marcus Mariota in the draft. Said the source:
“From No. 20, it’s certainly not going to be easy. It’s probably going to take moving up twice to do it. There’s going to be some wheeling and dealing involved … Can it happen? I don’t know. But they’re going to try.”
If they’re going to try to make the move, the only thing standing in the way is what they’re willing to give up (or what they’ll need to give up). One NFL personnel executive told NJ.com that he’d ask for “a No. 1 and a No. 2 this year, a No. 1 next year and running back LeSean McCoy.” That is a whole hell of a lot. Like, too much. Then again, if Chip and the Eagles aren’t very high on McCoy and his salary — a possibility — and the rumblings that McCoy’s days in Philly are numbered were true, then this might not be that farfetched.
The big concern here is “mortgaging the future” just to get that shiny new toy Chip Kelly wants. But it could be a smart move on his part. By bringing in Mariota — a QB who wants to play for him and, presumably, would thrive in his system — Chip could put a potential franchise quarterback under center, while giving himself time (now that he has the power) to build a complete team around Mariota. And if the Eagles stretch for Mariota and he pans out, just imagine how hesitant Jeffrey Lurie — now the only man really above Chip — would be to separate the two. It’s a huge stretch and a big risk for the Eagles and their fans… but maybe not so much for Kelly. Of course, if it were to backfire colossally, he’d probably get fired in two years.
Some newspaper covers from around the Northeast today. Too perfect.
I was in New York yesterday filming a clip show for SNY – playing the role of the outsider – and one of the first topics that came up was Jets fans’ disdain for the Patriots and Spy Gate. Funny, I said, because as an Eagles fan who watched his team lose by three in the Super Bowl to the cheating Pats, I can sympathize. It appears that this is something over which we can bond. And then the next question was about the 2007 Mets and that’s where the harmony ended.
Anyway, 2004 was the last time the Patriots actually won the whole thing, so should we really be surprised that that rat Belichick had to cheat his way there?* Go Screw, Boston.
*Of course, the score probably would’ve been merely 27-7 instead of 45-7 had they been using regular balls, because Andrew Luck is a tightly-wound robot who will perpetually be a poor man’s Peyton Manning who can never win the big one. The Colts had no shot at winning that game in New England. None.
Photo Credit: Eric Hartline-USA TODAY Sports
While everyone from Sal Pal to Randall Cunningham to Marcus Mariota is stoking the “Mariota to the Eagles” fire, current Eagles are backing Nick Foles as their quarterback.
Last week, LeSean McCoy backed up Nick Foles:
“I think Nick’s a good quarterback. He’s the leader of our team. Things just didn’t work out for him this year due to injury, but we’ve got his back. As a team, we didn’t play well enough to win and get into the playoffs.”
Shady’s thoughts are more “it wasn’t Nick’s fault” than “Nick is our QB of the future,” but Jordan Matthews takes it all a step further. “I think everyone has seen the type of production he can have. Before he got hurt he was 6-2,” Matthews told Fox Sports. “It goes without saying what he did his first year when he got the opportunity to play a whole season. I believe he’s a great quarterback and our franchise quarterback.”
So that’s two behind Foles and dozens of crazy people wanting to trade up to number one to get Mariota. Get ready for four more months of this.