Kind of a slow day, so why not close the blinds, make sure your boss isn’t gonna walk by, put your headphones on, and watch this video of the Eagles’ 11 return TDs from last year. It’s almost the weekend. You deserve it. Just keep your hands above the desk. Or don’t. Who cares.
Ew. There’s this acid creeping up in my throat. It tastes like… yep, it’s vomit. #willprobablybesellingbradfordtshirtsin6months
The Sam Bradford era. Welcome to it!
UPDATE: Holy shit– Bradford looks even worse on Snapchat:
He’s like that guy across the street from you who drinks a lot. He’s not fat by any stretch, but he’s not particularly athletic either, and all the years of drinking have given him a weird little pot belly. That’s what Bradford looks like. This is your quarterback. Our quarterback.
The NFL approved portions of proposals from the competition committee, the Patriots, and Eagles that will have extra points getting snapped from the 15-yard line and will give the defense the ability to return a failed two-point try for two points of their own.
The Patriots, who could probably get just about anything passed at the moment given Roger Goodell’s presumed desired to placate Robert Kraft, had proposed snapping from the 15 but without the defense’s ability to score. The Eagles and competition committee had also reportedly proposed snapping from the 15 and the two-point return, but one wrinkle they added is what you might call the Tebow Corollary– snapping from the one on two-point conversions. Alas. That one was stopped on the goal line.
What does this all mean? Well, I’d imagine a few painful 21-20 losses for a couple of teams. Moving the ball back will decrease percentages by at least a few points, leading more coaches to do the math about trying two-point conversions, especially in bad weather. Let’s just be thankful that Alex Henery – who was an inexplicable 1-5 last year with the Lions – is no longer around.
UPDATE: What a misleading headline here from Business Insider:
Wrong. They cite an expected ~97% extra point rate (based on 2014 field goals with the line of scrimmage from the 14-16). That’s still high and will usually lead risk-adverse coaches (not our very own big-balled marvel) to play it safe and go for one, not two – which over time would probably net just as many points – but it’s still over two points lower than the 99.6% rate on extra points the league had been experiencing. So it might not make a difference from a play-call standpoint, but there will absolutely be at least a few additional quirky scores thanks to the slightly decreased percentages.
We all know about the championship merch that is made before a certain team loses, that often gets sent to other countries. That makes sense because you gotta be prepared no matter the outcome. But this? I have no idea how something like this happens. A disgruntled Packers fan? A computer mistake? A wholly incompetent translation to whatever overseas factory this came from? Yea, it’s probably that last one.
[h/t Total Packers]
Connor Barwin, while being a card-carrying member of the Everymen, is one of the more respected athletes in Philly. He bikes, rides SEPTA, hosts concerts for charity, and a ton more. So when we heard he was visiting Amtrak victims at Temple University Hospital with Mark Sanchez, it wasn’t surprising. But according to Barwin, it was all Sanchez’s idea. As he said yesterday on Breakfast on Broad:
“It was Mark’s idea. We were all obviously talking about it in the locker room that morning and it was Mark’s idea to go visit the hospital. Obviously I ride that train a lot, Mark rides that train a lot from being in New York. And he just thought it’d be good to show some support. It was great to talk to everyone at the hospital, and then we did get to see some of the victims that were still in the hospital. It was really nice … it was cool to kinda hear their story and talk to them.”
So Sanchez brought food and it was his idea? What a guy.
Tony Romo has joined Twitter. If you’re logged in, all you need to do is hit the reply button there and send him a big ol’ Philadelphia welcome.
The Patriots have issued a painfully long rebuttal to the Wells Report that no one is going to read at WellsReportContext.Geocities.Episode1Trailers.com. On that page, whose URL I may have exaggerated, they explained why one of the ball boys referred to himself as the “deflator.” Turns out he was just fat:
Mr. Jastremski would sometimes work out and bulk up — he is a slender guy and his goal was to get to 200 pounds. Mr. McNally is a big fellow and had the opposite goal: to lose weight. “Deflate” was a term they used to refer to losing weight. One can specifically see this use of the term in a Nov. 30, 2014 text from Mr. McNally to Mr. Jastremski: “deflate and give somebody that jacket.” (p. 87). This banter, and Mr. McNally’s goal of losing weight, meant Mr. McNally was the “deflator.” There was nothing complicated or sinister about it. If there was any doubt about the jocular nature of the May 9, 2014 texts, a review of all the texts between these two men that day would dispel it:
And here’s that exchange, which is also amazing:
12:21:46: JM “Whats up dorito dink”
12:22:53: JJ “Nada”
12:22:53: JM “Whens the pong party….im on fire”
12:23:10: JJ “Omg”
12:23:34: JM “Bring it”
16:29:48: JM “You still with your women”
16:29:59: JJ “Yup”
16:33:21: JM “You must have her [omitted out of respect to Mrs. Jastremski]”
16:34:39: JM “You must have a picture of her [omitted out of respect to Mrs. Jastremski]”
16:36:31: JJ “Omg”
16:37:16: JM “You working”
16:37:53 JJ “Yup”
16:39:40 JM “Nice dude…jimmy needs some kicks….lets
make a deal…come on help the deflator”
[After Mr. Jastremski does not respond for several minutes, Mr. McNally sends a follow-up text.]
16:47:15 JM “Chill buddy im just f****n with you….im not going
POOR MRS. JASTREMSKI!
I hate just about everything to do with the New England Patriots, but I kinda respect their doubling-down on this at the expense of a couple of twits and one of their wife’s tw… ah, never mind. The fact that serious people are thoroughly analyzing the text exchanges between Frick and Frack is the gift that keeps on giving. Need a podcast with these guys.