One of the most likable local athletes of our generation’s lifetime.
Hey, the Flyers won. Hey, the Flyers scored. Multiple goals. One of which was Shayne Gostisbehere’s overtime winner, on Rod Brind’Amour night.
And finally, a shirt I can sell just as those Culture Wins Football shirts become virtually unmarketable:
Printed on super soft, high quality ringspun cotton. Gets yours before they’re g-g-g-g-gone.
You know things are getting bad when Flyers press notes start out with:
Per the Elias Sports Bureau, the 34 goals scored by the Flyers through 20 games is a franchise record for the fewest at that point of a season. The previous low was 39 goals scored through the first 20 games of the 1968-69 season.
The Flyers had almost as many shots blocked (29) as Ottawa had on goal (31). In addition to their 36 shots, the Flyers had 45 more not reach the net – the 29 that were blocked, and 16 that missed.
Not even a seasoned PR pro can spin this disaster into something positive.
Oh and those blocked shots? LOOK AT ALL THESE B’S:
You almost have to try to get that many shots blocked from in close. This team may be the most skill-less since the early 90s Flyers. Where’s Andrei Lomakin when you need him?
shot chart via war-on-ice
San Jose Shark Joel Ward, who once got trapped in a hotel bathroom, couldn’t find his way to the visitor’s locker room as the Wells Fargo Center last night. Chris Therien actually had to go find him on the concourse and escort him down. We’ll let Therien tell the tale:
Chris Therien: I had the pleasure of escorting Mr. Joel Ward down to his locker room today. He was hanging out on the concourse, guys. The cab dropped him off at the wrong place and he was waiting on the concourse with no ability to get down to the locker rooms. They wouldn’t let him in! They would not let him in.
Keith Jones: That’s two bad things that’s happened to him today.
Chris Therien: I was thinking to myself. How does he not know where to go? It’s not like it’s his first year in the league.
You gotta wonder a few things:
- Does he not have a PR person on the team or an equipment manager or something he can text to say “Hey, come find me”?
- THE CAB? They don’t hook him up with a car service?
- You honestly have to wonder if he wasn’t let in to the locker room – assuming he’s got some kind of Sharks ID that he may not have had on him – because he doesn’t … uh … look like a hockey player. It’s a big assumption, but I could see T.J. McConnell not being let into a visitor’s locker room for the same reason. “Scram kid, you are NOT an NBA player.”
During the game, Ward got slashed in the dick. So it was just a bad day for him overall.
The Flyers are 6-8-5, they’re tied for the fewest goals scored in the league, they’ve won only two of their last 12, have been shutout twice and scored only one goal four times during that stretch, and they just lost 1-0 in overtime, at home, to the Sharks last night. They’re yet another shining beacon of dung in the Philly sports landscape, a truly putrid team completely devoid of a second line (something the team’s almost equally horrible beat writers are finally picking up on). And yet, they, too, are earning moral victories.
With any kind of luck, the Flyers might have gotten four points this week instead of two, following yet another loss after regulation play on Thursday night.
This time, it was 1-0 in overtime against the San Jose Sharks at the Wells Fargo Center, where fans accustomed to seeing goals by the bushel in recent years strain to catch a glimpse of any puck crossing the line (see Instant Replay).
The Flyers have just 15 goals on home ice through 10 games. They did, however, earn a point for the third straight game for just the second time this season.
But there were more positives than negatives on Thursday.
* The Flyers outshot their opponents for the first time in the last 12 games. They had a 34-21 advantage _ 28-11 after the first period.
* After the first 10 minutes, the Flyers controlled most of the game.
* The defense played arguably its best game of the season.
* The Flyers’ penalty kill was 4 for 4, and it allowed a total of just two shots on the Sharks’ four power plays.
* Goalie Steve Mason had his third straight strong start and is starting to resemble the goalie who had a career season in 2014-15.
* The struggling second line _ Sean Couturier centering Wayne Simmonds and Matt Read _ created several scoring chances and had 11 shots on goal.
And the worst offender, Broad Street Hockey:
The second may have been Philadelphia’s best even strength period of the season. They generated 14 scoring chances (4 high-danger) while San Jose was only able to create four (one high-danger). It was the Sean Couturier line that drove the team’s success. After struggling early to contain the Joe Pavelski-Joe Thornton tandem, they took the Sharks’ stars apart in the second period. Both players posted 33% Corsi For percentages in the period, while Couturier and his linemates finished well above 80 percent. The Flyers shutdown line not only produced numerous quality chances – they neutralized San Jose’s most dangerous forwards.
STOP IT. STOP IT. STOP IT. Is this what we’ve been reduced to? Seriously, is this what life as a Philly sports fan has become? I can’t take it. The Eagles are a massive disappointment. The Sixers may be the worst NBA team ever. The Phillies are… there, maybe? And now we’re declaring moral victories for the Flyers in 1-0 overtime losses? I don’t know if I can do this anymore. What is the sense in rooting for anyone, believing in anybody right now? It’s all a waste of time. If you watch Sixers games every night, like Jim does, I think you’re a loser, and an idiot. You’re literally watching two players who have any sort of future here. Two. You could glean more from YouTube highlights and then screw yourself during the 2.5 hours you get back. Paying attention to the Phillies is virtually useless until some sort of direction is apparent. They’re considering trading Ken Giles. Why? WHO KNOWS! Why not trade a 25-year-old closer with upside? Sounds reasonable to me! Watching the Eagles is the real-world equivalent of being a noob and playing seasoned pros in Madden online. Like, you believe there’s a chance for a little while, but in the end you just want to rip the plug out of the wall because, for the life of you, you can’t figure out how they always intercept your passes in the red zone! And back to the Flyers, who are putting together perhaps the most unexciting, uninteresting, meh season in Philly history. Oh, the Flyers are in-season? Still the same four forwards with a patchwork defense, goaltending issues and a general malaise that will likely result in another coach getting fired because he has to work with a deformed roster? Yep? Thought so! That’s where we are right now. I can’t do this. Really, I can’t. I might just start drawing dick-doodles and putting them in photo galleries so I can claim my page views during this nuclear winter. You’re all gonna watch me lose my mind one hairy penis at a time, starting now:
For all of the awful Ilya Bryzgalov memories Flyers fans have, none of them (well, very few) involved things he’s said. He’s a walking, talking quote machine about all things ridiculous. And tomorrow night, you can hear him say some heavily-accented insanities in person.
Sarah Baicker is hosting a Puck Talks/Pitch Talks double bill at Bourbon and Branch in Northern Liberties. The event will feature Bryz being Bryz, Phillies talk with Todd Zolecki and Jim Salisbury, and hockey stories from Al Morganti (the commenters’ favorite), Bill Meltzer, Dave Isaac, and Adam Kimelman. Bryz is the main draw here, though.
Jimmy Kempski doesn’t just do stick figures, he does some accounting too: Over at Philly Voice, Kempski crunched some numbers to show that the current Philadelphia sports landscape is the worst in our hemisphere. I mean, just look at what we found when we enhanced the picture above to see what the paper in Brett Brown’s hand said:
Taking into account the current (or most recent, in terms of baseball) winning percentage of all cities with at least three teams, Philadelphia is the worst by a long, long way:
Even when you add cities with only one or two teams, only New Orleans finds themselves lower than Philadelphia (I blame Pierre). Of course, the biggest factor dragging that percentage down is the .000 winning percentage posted by the Sixers, but even if they win tonight, it’d only bump Philly up one spot. In front of Calgary. Dark times are now. Dark times are ahead. But for at least two of the four teams around here (Phillies/Sixers), this could be rock bottom. So yeah, that’s the non-doomsday slant I’m putting on this.
Flyers press release:
Flyers defenseman Mark Streit will have surgery on Tuesday morning to repair a pubic plate detachment. The surgery will be performed by Dr. William Meyers. He is expected to be out for six weeks.
OH COME ON! What does that even mean?! If I tore my pubic plate, I’d retire. Not if I was a hockey player, but now. If I tore my pubic plate, I’d retire from blogging. What’s the sense in continuing on with a torn pubic plate? Tap out. I Googled it and, uh, DON’T DO THAT:
OWWWW. OWWWWWW. OWWWWWWW!