Apparently this is a thing in college sports. We saw James Franklin chopper into Woodlawn like a fucking lunatic. I don’t get it. As someone who is still paying college tuition, it kind of pisses me off. This is where rising tuition fees are going– to choppering in egomaniac college coaches who want to impress high school kids? I will eat my hat if Jay Wright has ever taken anything other than his loaner Land Rover* to recruit someone. You don’t need a chopper when you have the trophy.
But for real, if this is going to continue to be a thing, can we at least set some ground rules? James Franklin– you can do it because you coach a respectable (on the field) football program. [Googles Temple’s new coach] Geoff Collins– you can’t. I feel like if you don’t have a stadium you can’t have a chopper. That’s a criteria that can be applied to all of society. Joshua Harris– he can have a chopper because he owns the Prudential Center, and he can park it wherever he damn well pleases, even build a helipad. John Middleton– chopper. The citizens of Green Bay– chopper. But Geoff Collins… sir, you can not have a chopper. Get over yourself.
*This year he’s doing commercials for Granite Run GMC, which must have paid him so much goddamn money to go off-brand and drive an American car from Media. For real, I question little that Jay does, but his decision to go with Granite Run GMC over literally any foreign car manufacturer on the Main Line kind of makes me mad. Am I an elitist? Probably. But I don’t care. You literally couldn’t pay me to drive a… wait, what’s that, you’ll give me a Chevy for our tailgate? LONG LIVE DETROIT! MICHAEL MOORE FOREVER!!!