Services: 38 Year Old Dominican Pitcher Seeks ML Team

A few weeks ago, I gave my thoughts on Pedro Martinez returning to the Phillies.  Now, Yahoo Sports is reporting that he is getting closer to another comeback. 

While I like Pedro, and appreciate what he did for us last year, his fastball was topping out at 86 MPH by Game 6 of the World Series, after only 3 months of pitching.  He's 38, and no longer a viable option for the Phils.  Yet, Ruben Amaro still seems to be interested in his progress, and the Phils will look a hard look at Pedro, should he decide to come back.

Baseball is the only sport where someone can sit on the shelf for three months, then offer up their services to a team in need.  Roger Clemens started this trend, now Pedro is following.  It's like a posting under the "Services" tab on Craiglist.  I can just see Pedro's now:

38 year old Dominican pitcher seeks starting role on Major League contender.  Willing to relocate (temporarily).  

8 time all-star

3 time cy-young award winner

2004 World Series Champion

Most influential man to ever play in Yankee Stadium (self proclaimed)

Most recent employment includes temp position with the Phillies, pitched in new Yankee Stadium during World Series— that appearance, also influential, it handed the Yankees the World Series.

Trustworthy, no prior record, although I did once throw an old man to the ground (he came after me!)

Compensation: negotiable, but I don't accept anything under 7 figures.

Do quality work, and sure to please in press conferences.

You can call my agent, or find me on MySpace:


3 Responses

  1. I am a huge Pedro fan and always respected what he brought to the game. I was thrilled to have him in a Phillies uniform last season. With Happ being the question mark he has been right now (and even when he does come back, it may not be the worst idea to stick him in the pen), one has to wonder if we’re going to add another arm. I’d be much happier if we went after Roy Oswalt personally. Martinez proved to be a gamer last season, but I’m not sure what he has left.

  2. His age shouldnt matter Jamie Moyer remember. His 86 MPH either Jamie Moyer remember him. If he cant get location an fool some hitters has enough gas left he could be a viable option. Otherwise Ruben wouldnt still show interest. Its a fact Phillies are still weak at starting pitching its no secret its their weakest link.

  3. We could just sign a japanese player who is young, Id say with an interesting pitch like a knuckleball. I guess what Im saying is we should sign Eri Yoshida, not because shes particularly good, or is likely to improve anything, but because it would make sending Moyers and Kendrick out to the mound every 5 days seem slightly less terrible.

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