"You got a little on your thigh, hun."

Johan Santana is such an asshole.

In case your hatred for the Mets was dwindling, here are documents presented by TMZ that allege Santana sexually assaulted a woman on a Florida golf course last October.  Ironic, because the Mets were literally on a golf course while the Phillies were preparing for the World Series.

According to the TMZ (oh and it gets nasty here):

Johan began to pull at [the accuser's] skirt/skort and attempt [sic] to
place his hands into her underwear."  According to the document the
alleged victim "told Johan no multiple times but Johan persisted."

The report gets more graphic, when the accuser claims Santana penetrated
her, grabbed and bruised her calf, and "ejaculated on her upper thigh."

The accuser claims she "cleaned her thigh with her underwear" — and
then returned to a tennis court with Santana, and actually watched him
play tennis with someone else.

Ok, several things here.

1)  Yeah, that's illegal.

2)  "Ejaculated on upper thigh" has just entered the American sports lexicon.

3)  She cleaned her thigh with her underwear and then returned to a tennis court with Santana?  Probably not the first step in filing a police report.

DNA tests DID prove there was intercourse, but apparently there wasn't enough evidence to prosecute. The case was dropped on Decemeber 9th.

I'm sure the Mets fans will somehow blame this on the Phillies.  Where was Susan Finkelstein that night?