Charlie Sheen and Lenny Dykstra Trash Mitch Williams and Ryan Howard on Alex Jones Show, Dude is Now Giving Out Mortgage Advice


This is incredible.

If you don't know who Alex Jones is, he is essentially the leader for the 9/11 was an inside job movement. He also has a nationally syndicated radio show based out of Dallas, which discusses, among other things, conspiracy theories and government corruption. Somehow, he has aligned himself with Charlie Sheen.

Sheen, who is also on board with the 9/11 truth movement (oh yeah, this post will only get weirder), was on Jones' show yesterday and made news by calling the producer of Two and a Half Men, Chuck Lorre, a clown, and said that he violently hates him. In response, CBS cancelled production for the rest of this season of Two and a Half Men. Today, Sheen said this about Lorre: "Clearly I have defeated this earthworm with my words — imagine what I would have done with my fire-breathing fists."

Fire breathing fists, folks.

So, why am I telling you all this? Lost in that craziness is the fact that Lenny Dykstra was on Jones' show with Sheen. That's when shit got real weird. Mixing a sex-crazed delusional celebrity, a bottomed-out delusional former Major Leaguer, and a delusional conspiracy theorist brings you a whole bunch of awesome.

Must read quotes from Nails and Sheen, including Dykstra praising Brian Wilson (who hung out with Sheen, Dykstra, and Jones in California to help Sheen prepare for Major League 4) and ripping Mitch Williams, after the jump.

Sheen on Dykstra:

Sheen: He's hardcore. And it's with a capital "C" (???????). There's a movie called Hardcore with George C. Scott. So, you can be hardcore and just be George Scott. You can be hardcore and then, you know, you get a lower case "c". My man is an upper case George C. Scott. Hardcore.

Dykstra: I don't want him to stop, and Charlie knows me. I don't really tell him what he wants to hear, I just tell him the truth.

Sheen: Which is why we love each other unconditionally and with violence. And you're one of the best dudes alive, Bro.

Do you remember that bald fool, Lenny, that came in with his therapy and his voodoo and he tried to judge me and he said I was too excited? The only thing I got excited about was catching the last drop of blood, just before his beheaded silly dome made contact with my beautiful wooden floor in my home in front of my children.

On Brian Wilson, Ryan Howard, and Mitch Williams:

Sheen: He [Brian Wilson] was brought out to put some fire back in Wild Thing's fingertips and eyes, because he says I have tiger blood and honest DNA and I must make them weep when they watch it. 

Lenny: [Wilson's] The 98 MPH gasoline with the cut on it helps a little bit too.

Sheen: It's un-hittable, it's un-hittable. He made Ryan Howard, I'm sorry Ryan you're the best left-handed hitter in 50 years, but he made him look like an armless child when he backdoor slidered his ass into the World Series.

He brought excitement back into the sport, like the real Wild Thing [from the movie] did back in 1989 when this thing launched.

Lenny: Yeah the real Wild Thing, that ain't Mitch Williams, I guarantee you that.

Sheen: You have every right to say that, Len.

Lenny: I can't stand that guy, man.


On Charlie Sheen:

Lenny: It's almost like he's on a mission, anybody in his way is going to get mowed down. The way the man uses the English language.

The thing about you, Charlie, people don't realize how brilliant you are. And I'm not a guy who gets on his knees, if you know what I mean. 

Charlie's put me in position, where I'm about to make a big move in my life.

Charlie's on a mission, same as me. Little different paychecks, but we'll get into that in a little bit.


Dykstra on his new endeavors:

I thought I was put this earth to entertain people on the baseball field, because O was actually pretty good at that. But what I went through last two years, I realized there's a different plan for me, and that's to help people and show them how they can save their homes.


Yeah, Lenny is now doling out mortgage advice here.

If you have 45 minutes to kill, watch these. Dykstra starts at the 10 minute mark of the first video.


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  • Gabrielle February 25, 2011 at 12:46 pm

    I had no idea fists could breathe, let alone fire-breathe. You learn something new everyday.

  • Andrea February 25, 2011 at 1:01 pm

    What the hell was Charlie Sheen talking about? And playing a major leaguer in the movies – over 20 years ago, no less- now makes him a expert on those playing the sport now? Obviously, drugs and ego have addled his brain!!!

  • Trent February 25, 2011 at 1:02 pm

    nails sounds like a fucken retard man……jesus, derrrrr

  • bobHALO February 25, 2011 at 1:04 pm

    Charlie Sheen and Dykstra need to get in a car with Lindsay Lohan, Chris Wheeler, Kim Kardashian, Glen Beck and Joan Rivers and drive off a cliff followed by all burning in he’ll for eternity

  • Sean February 25, 2011 at 1:04 pm

    What. The. Fuck.

  • Jersey Jay February 25, 2011 at 1:20 pm

    gold, pure gold.

  • mick February 25, 2011 at 1:22 pm

    Charlie Sheen and Lenny Dykstra are the BIGGEST LOSERS that I have ever seen….Those two are nothing but TRASH!!!!

  • Adam B February 25, 2011 at 1:34 pm

    i thought the mel gibson phone calls were the craziest thing i have ever heard, but this stuff is downright insane…i don’t even know what the hell they are talking about.

  • Adam B February 25, 2011 at 1:35 pm

    @ sean…i couldn’t have said it better myself…hahhahaa

  • face February 25, 2011 at 1:38 pm

    Dykstra would call a drug addict that just pissed away millions of dollars “brilliant”.
    They’re both pieces of shit. It’s a shame because Sheen actually is really funny. Dykstra needs to disapear again though. The more he opens his mouth, the more I get a sour taste about the surreal worst to first 93′ season.
    When asked why Dykstra is attempting to resurrect his finances through the unlikely mad man that is Charlie Sheen, his only reply was, “Whatever it takes dude.”

  • Brian February 25, 2011 at 1:46 pm

    That is classic. Sad and pathetic…..but classic.

  • Joe D February 25, 2011 at 1:46 pm

    This stuff doesn’t even seem real. It’s horrifying and hilarious. I just wonder if they are actually serious.
    Lenny has always hated Mitch Williams. It’s amazing how the two have led completely different lives since that 93 season. Dykstra is on a complete downward spiral while Mitch is a well-respected analyst who has made peace with the fanbase.

  • Wendy February 25, 2011 at 1:48 pm

    HAHAHAA! BobHalo I so agree with you! hysterical.
    The whole exchange made my head spin.

  • John E. February 25, 2011 at 1:52 pm

    This has to be part of a new VH1 show right? If not CBS should be all over this for a Two and Half Men replacement.

  • saucy sailor February 25, 2011 at 2:27 pm

    holy balls theres going to be a major league 4?

  • Tommy K February 25, 2011 at 4:48 pm

    Why are we the least bit surprised here that Charlie Sheen and Lenny Dykstra are using crack once again?

  • dmoney February 25, 2011 at 5:12 pm

    i love the shit out of ryan howard..but best lefty in the last 50 years!??! c’mon son

  • Russell February 25, 2011 at 5:47 pm

    Ignorant people do not understand this interview. They only look at it from a superficial standpoint. There is depth and truth to what is being said. Sheen is obviously speaking metaphorically and symbolically most of the interview. People who don’t understand this should not be posting such hateful words. The truth is that those who eat everything the mass media puts on the table will have no taste for truth. Just like if you feed a child nothing but sugar, they will grow a distaste for what their bodies and brains really need. Substance. Alex Jones and Charlie Sheen are spreading truth and no one likes it because they don’t like the taste. The broccoli is yucky!

  • Iron Balls McGinty February 25, 2011 at 5:56 pm

    So, would you rather have The Sheeny Curse or The Lenny Curse (whatever that means…)?

  • dino February 25, 2011 at 6:48 pm

    Personally I would rather have the Sheeny curse cause he’s got more money than he knows what to do with, parties around with hot chicks that love sex, and is living a non-stop party 24×7 with no fear of death.
    But the sensible person that I am is wondering WTF are these two on!!!!!
    Met Nails back in 1996 or 97 through a potential business deal….he was looking to acquire a company I was a partner in. He was dumber then a pile of rocks…and that is being nice. I was left with the impression that he was born with half his brain cells missing and that the remaining half he must have left at home that day.
    Dumber then dumb.

  • February 26, 2011 at 10:06 am

    You missed the part where Dykstra tells Sheen he’d take a bullet for him.
    The Dude has a little fairy in him, musta picked it up while he was sleeping at the Y.

  • gmuny2002 February 26, 2011 at 10:31 am

    OK, which one is “Dumb” and which one is “Dumber”, lol!

  • Craig Allen February 26, 2011 at 10:32 am

    I wonder how much my 1 of a kind signed LD poster is worth now…might be time to find out.

  • Neo February 26, 2011 at 8:53 pm

    Dykstra’s hand is obviously headed for Chucky’s wallet. Sheen is easily stupid enough to fund “Nails” next business disaster. Perfect couple.

  • NickFromGermantown February 27, 2011 at 7:32 am

    What a mess. Wow.

  • Buddy February 27, 2011 at 1:06 pm

    I had the misfortune of having to wait on Dykstra while I was a bartender at an Atlantic City Casino a while ago.He actually started a fight with a US Congressman while trying to pick up the guys wife,while his own wife was sitting next to him at the bar.He’s a typical jock douchbag and a dim-witted narcissist at best

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    you can find what you want to in here,make your life full of color ,it’s a perfect website.

  • code87 March 6, 2011 at 5:32 pm

    Dykstra is a scumbag who blew all his money on ho’s and gambling. He’s disgusting and they deserve to be bff’s. Maybe they can get group therapy.

  • Loki March 7, 2011 at 4:41 pm

    Russell I’d recommend a good book for you. One called 1984
    Seems right up your conspiracy theory alley.

  • filabac, NJ March 8, 2011 at 3:13 pm

    Reminds me of two stoned potheads sitting around telling each other how brillant they are.

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