Lenny Dykstra is Out of His Goddamn Mind

Not that you didn't know that already, but this is actually getting really sad.

This morning, we posted a tease to John Clark's interview with Lenny Dykstra, who was in town this weekend for an autograph show in Valley Forge. NBC has put up the rest of the videos and, well, they're a little bit frightening.

Dude talks about everything from Charlie Sheen to big banks, which are apparently out to kill him.

Some quotes- taken from multiple points in the interview. 

On banks

Don't be surprised if not assassinated by one of these banks one of these days.

I see stories that I couldn't make up if I dreamed. But that doesn't matter. What matters is all those people, they'll be shining my shoes. Ok? And they'll all come back wanting to suck my dick. Ok? Which they will. Guess what I'll tell them? Guess what? You think you have an idea? Yeah, go fuck yourself.

I have $30 million dollars worth of homes. 

But are they being foreclosed?

Foreclosed? Whatever.

Was there a period of my life when I was livin' on the streets? Yeah.

How long did you live on the streets?

Long enough to be put in the category of that dude… name… that Indian dude… um… Ghandi. He's Indian I think, right?

On people

All the people, the so-called people who said I ripped them off…

On baseball

No talking to the other team. We're going to take their money and fuck their women.


Oh yeah, and Dude doesn't like Mitch Williams. He's also probably on drugs.

My only personal regret from all this? Lenny was at the Palm and Ritz Carlton on Friday, just mere feet from where I was, sitting at the Capital Grille bar next to Shane Victorino's prominently displayed wine locker. I would have loved to have ran into Lenny and asked him about his thoughts on… oh I don't know… Muammar Gaddafi or 9/11.

And don't worry, I'm not spending all your t-shirt and ticket money on expensive, perfectly aged steaks- my girlfriend and I just grabbed appetizers at the bar after enjoying a champagne toast and orchestra seats at the ballet (long story). I will now retreat under thick layer of douche.

Hop it for the videos.

View more videos at: http://www.nbcphiladelphia.com.

View more videos at: http://www.nbcphiladelphia.com.

View more videos at: http://www.nbcphiladelphia.com.

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16 Responses

  1. Any chance of a ’93 reunion in a couple of years with the likes of Dykstra, Daulton, Kruk, Hollins, etc. all on the same field at one time? It’d be worth the price of admission just to get Nails and Dutch in a room together, let alone the rest of the gang.

  2. He was a great Major League Ballplayer, but now he’s a Major Asshole!! He’s a Major Narcissist & has a Pazzi Scheme mentality!! Embarrassed to say he was a Phillie!

  3. This is comedic gold. You can’t make this shit up. That man obviously need psychological help, and fast. It’s sad to see a beloved player fall so far, even though his delusions are unbelievably hilarious at the moment.
    I find Lenny to be FAR more entertaining than that douchebag Charlie Sheen, who is blatantly trying to gain attention. Lenny doesn’t look for attention, attention finds Lenny.
    Which brings me to this whole “winning” bullshit. It needs to stop. It’s completely stupid and not even remotely funny. Not to mention it was started by a cracked-out narcissist who just officially lost his job.

  4. its ok nails dave hollins still loves u….this interview just proves the 1993 phillies was the craziest team of all time haha and there is no group now or in the future that i would rather party with

  5. Well, since Charlie Sheen was officially fired by CBS yesterday, he and Lenny will have plenty of time to hang out together and say outrageous things. It’s amazing how far downhill Dykstra’s fallen, and from those sound bites, he’s yet to hit rock bottom.

  6. Whenever I hear him speak I can’t tell if he’s drunk or punchy. He sounds like an ex-boxer. Thank god he didn’t do more interviews when he was a player here.

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