Making fun of the Metropolitans is losing its luster. They're broke, awful, and spending $17 million on players they released. Those are facts. Sort of.

As I wrote here, it's time to turn an ironic chin to dumbass Werth and the Washington Nationals. It's a step up, really. City men to countrymen.

Here's a good place to start. Who says athletes don't do dumb shit with their money? [Wall Street Journal via DC Sports Blog]

Pitcher Livan Hernandez became something of a sadistic benefactor when he arrived in Arizona in 2006. Motuzas [bullpen catcher] said Hernandez once paid him $3,000 to drink a gallon of milk in 12 minutes. The two also hammered out a deal that permitted Hernandez to punch Motuzas in the groin for $50 a pop whenever he felt the urge. Motuzas would receive a $300 bonus after every 10th punch….

Things got really interesting one season when Hernandez got his hands on some rubber nunchucks. (”A gift from a fan,” former Diamondbacks pitcher Brandon Webb said.) Hernandez, who now pitches for the Washington Nationals, would put them to use now and then by blindfolding Motuzas. “And then he’d come up and whip the shit out of me,” said Motuzas, who was compensated for this, as well. “That was just his thing. Great guy, though.”


Ladies and gentlemen, the Nationals' Opening Day starter.

As if this wasn't enough fodder to bring with us to D.C. on April 14th, how's this: Jayson Werth will bat second this year. Jayson Werth is going be paid $10,571,429 million this year. Those are facts.

Werth is a career .252/.340/.432 (average/on-base/slugging) hitter in 381 at-bats in the two hole. That is also a fact.

Jeez, somebody should have told the Nationals that Werth never drove in 100 runs (fact), wasn't a middle-of-the-order type guy (fact), and wasn't worth $126 million. Also a fact.