As always, Lenny Dykstra lewd-housekeeper posts are best read while listening to this song.

It. Out.

Remember the time we told you that Dykstra liked being fellated by his housekeeper on Saturdays? Well, it looks like he may have been trying out a new fembot for that task – against her wishes.

According to TMZ, Dykstra is being investigated by the LAPD for lewd conduct, after he requested a massage from a 47-year-old woman who had responded to a Craigslist ad to be his housekeeper.

The woman told police… when she arrived to the home, Dykstra explained that she wouldn't just have to clean, she would also be required to give him massages as well. 

The woman claimed Dykstra then took off all of his clothes and told the woman he wouldn't be able to hire her without first sampling her skills. Smooth. 

We're told the woman denied his request … left the home immediately … flagged down a nearby cop … and filed a police report. She also locked down a high power attorney, Mauro Fiore Jr., to handle the case.


Interesting. I wonder if Dykstra has given up on the Saturday BJs, or if he was just trying to win her over.

Either way, the housekeeper was not impressed with Little Lenny.

I’m totally ripping this off of Bill Simmons, but it needs to be done. We are creating the Dykstra Zone, for any time a Philly athlete becomes so ridiculous that you’re no longer surprised with anything you hear. For real, I half expect to find out that Nails is auctioning off the Game 6 puck on eBay.