Who: I’m going against the grain here, but give me KK. Think about it. Kendrick can at least keep batters guessing: Is it going to be a strike or sail past my ear? PB, on the other hand, has a couple of dweebs telegraphing its pitch location. Plus KK has a hot wife. I’m pretty sure PhillieBot is waiting for marriage… or at least, the one.

image from danielmandell.com

More Freudian: [Watch Briere clip] [Watch Hartnell clip] No question. Briere. Hartnell just slipped on a similar-sounding word. It happens. You have no idea how many types I’ve accidentally road the wrong worm on CB. Briere was in the midst of a messy divorce and probably lacking in extracurriculars. Frankly, I’m surprised he didn’t eloquently describe a romantic evening with Charissa Thompson, complete with mood candles, Jason Mraz, and skate laces (don’t ask).

Madden cover jinx: YES! Vote Hillis in 2012!

Crossing Broads: This question goes deeper than the surface. If you’re a woman, Roy is like the guy you would want to marry. Strong, successful, consistent, and big, safe hands. Cliff would be the guy you want to date. He may not be quite as reliable, but every once in a while, on a warm fall night, he’ll rock your world in a reckless and unpredictable manner. This, of course, has nothing to do with the fact that Brandy is hot. Brandy.

Crossing Bros: Lavs. But only if he removes his gum first.

More future success: Pia. She already has a record deal and is dating a guy from Dancing with the Stars. Plus I think she looks like Ms. CB (Ms. CB disagrees). And in case you haven’t noticed, I really don’t like the PhillieBot kids.