Funnier: Livan Hernandez's Drug Ring Ties or Todd Coffey's Socks?
I'm going to go socks, actually.
I mean, really, are we that surprised Livan Hernandez is helping a Puerto Rican drug-ring launder money? No. No we are not.
Back in April, it was made public that Hernandez was a target in a federal probe of Angel Ayala Vázquez, a Puerto Rican drug trafficker with a name that makes Jose Yero jealous. Today, we learned this: [Washington Times]
Now the target of a federal money-laundering investigation, Mr. Hernandez is suspected of being a “straw buyer” for Ayala-Vazquez, according to a high-ranking law enforcement source. A straw buyer purchases items for others in their own name, allowing the proceeds from illegal activities such as drug trafficking to be hidden.
The 63-page indictment said the conspiracy by Ayala-Vazquez and his co-defendants used the “straw buyers” to purchase real estate, cars and businesses to make their drug profits appear legitimate.
During an impromptu news conference in San Juan, Puerto Rico, afterAyala-Vazquez’s conviction April 26, U.S. attorney Rosa Emilia Rodriguez-Velez was asked whether she expected charges to be filed against Mr. Hernandez.
I have no idea why the Washington Times linked to every name, every time, but whatevs. Hernandez is a "target," the top, um, ranking given by the FBI to people of interest.
What else would you have expected from a guy who used to pay his bullpen coach $50 so he could punch him in the groin? Glad to see he's spending his drug money well.
The link surfaced during testimony from Miguel Antonio Montes Nieveson March 30 during Ayala-Vazquez’s trial in San Juan. Known as “Tony Montana” after Al Pacino’s character in “Scarface,” Montes pleaded guilty to mailing cocaine from Florida to Puerto Rico in an unrelated case. A childhood friend of Ayala-Vazquez’s in Bayamon’s Barbosa Public Housing Project, Montes landed in Orlando as part of a long career using and dealing drugs. Once, Montes testified, he met one ofAyala-Vazquez’s deputies, eager to score marijuana, at Chuck E. Cheese’s on International Drive in Orlando.
After Christmas 2005, Ayala-Vazquez and several of his lieutenants traveled to Florida. A concert at the House of Blues in Downtown Disney organized by Big League Entertainment, a promotion company run byElias Maldonado, was on the agenda. But obtaining the two cars fromMr. Hernandez in Miami was the primary purpose.
Icky. Whenever the drug lords you're working with start dealing out of a Chuck E. Cheese's, it's time to get out… Unless they're stashing the goods in Mr. Munch's anus- then that's funny.
Now we know why this ice cream cone is doing fantastically magic things.
Still not as funny as Todd Coffey's high socks, though:
via Big League Stew
I dare you to find a better reference than Mr. Munch. Dare you.