The Amaro Lies

Ruben_amaro

He looks charming and honest

Welcome to our new running installment (?), which chronicles Ruben Amaro's quest to seduce a buxom blonde as part of a Lifetime mini-series land another right-handed bat.

Last week, we told you that Amaro said the Phillies weren't going to make any major moves this year. We think he's lying. Buster Olney, with your daily trade rumor:

Rival evaluator says the Phillies are already looking at right-handed hitting outfielders. Speculation: Josh Willingham, Michael Cuddyer?

 

Mmm hmm. Mmm hmm.

I see you Rube, checkin' out righties. Checkin' out righties.

If this does follow the cadence of a Lifetime movie, Rube will start out by sheepishly sending us flowers and denying his involvement with righties. But, before long, he'll start leaking trade rumors, taking late-night calls on his Blackberry, and beating us into submission with harsh verbal abuse. It's at this point that we'll either cry to our friends… or try to kill him. Either way, we'll come out of this hating men.

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9 Responses

  1. I don’t think Willingham would help at all…sure he has some homeruns and 40+ RBI’s but so does howard, what we need is someone who can consistently hit. Not another batter who comes up and gets a hit less than 1 out of every 4 at bats

  2. I wonder if the Twins would take Kendrick and Worley for Cuddyer. I know the Twins could use some young pitching. Giving up Worley would be tough to swallow, but you gotta give up a prospect or two get a team’s better player. Kendrick is 26 and even though he sucks, he could still might have SOME value. If you’re the Phillies do you make this trade? Cuddyer is in the last year of his contract. What would you give up for him?

  3. We need Juan Rivera, he is batting .356 against lefties this year and wouldn’t take much to get.

  4. Trade Worley? Are you on Crack? I’m more inclined to trade Savery than Worley.
    Stop talking silliness.

  5. What do you think the Twins are just going to give the Phillies Cuddyer? They’re not…. you want a right fielder, gotta give something up.

  6. but i’m guessing you were one of the people who didn’t wanna trade Happ for Oswalt too.

  7. The last time Ruben wasn’t “looking to add anybody” he signed Cliff Lee. I have no problem with him denying needs if he produces those kinds of results.

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