Your Latest Hunting Pence Nonsense



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Here are the most recent updates:

Jon Heyman says now the Phillies would likely have to include Dom Brown in a trade for Pence:

There’s a sense out there that if #phillies sub domonic brown for singleton and include cosart they might land pence. #tradedeadline

source: pence was told during last night’s game he was being pulled due to trade, but then he wasnt pulled. #tradedeadline


Ken Rosenthal says Pence is the Phillies’ to lose:

Sources: #Reds on #Astros‘ Bourn as well as Pence. Bourn FA after ’12, Pence after ’13. Pence is #Phillies‘ to lose. #tradedeadline #MLB


You know what I’ve done for the last five days, folks? Chased fucking rumors, that’s what. It’s like a dog chasing his tail, only he’s not sure if it exists, and, if it did, would he really want to eat it? 

Paul Hagen spoke to one scout, a Phillies fan, who doesn’t want Pence for the following reasons: []

“Not a fast bat . . . Needs to cheat a lot and therefore strikes out a lot . . . Not a high OPS guy . . . Would not protect [Ryan] Howard in the batting order . . . Not a guy I would like to pay a lot over the next 3 years like you would have to in [arbitration] . . . Not a great defensive player either. Not a premium guy worth giving up premium cheap future-salaried young players . . . I would trade the young guys if it was a guy with an OPS of .950 or above, more athletic with higher upside with a faster bat.”


Yeah, but his girlfriend is hot.

For realsies though, how can he not protect Ryan Howard? Just by virtue of having an All-Star righty hitting behind Piece, instead of a misplaced Victorino, the Phillies become a better team… and teams like the Giants and Braves can’t continuously run out left-handed frisbee tossers to plow through Utley, Howard, Ibanez, and Brown. Plus, it’s not like the Phillies have been raking playoff caliber starters, either. Check out the numbers our man John put together. This is what the Phillies have done against likely playoff competition:


Lincecum 6 IP, 0 ER

Cain 7 IP, 0 ER



Hudson 14.2 IP, 4 ER

Jurrjens 13.2 IP, 3ER

Hanson 7 IP, 1 ER

Beachy 14IP, 9 ER

Lowe 19 IP, 6 ER



Marcum 6IP, 0 ER

Wolf 6IP, 0 ER

Narveson 6 IP, 3 ER



Garcia 8 IP, 0 ER

Carpenter 7 IP, 1 ER

McClellan 7 IP, 1 ER

Lohse 8IP, 3 ER


Pirates, yes, the Pirates

Kartens 7 IP, 1 ER

Morton 7 IP, 2 ER

McDonald 4 IP, 3 ER


Fuck, Scoob! That’s good for a 2.33 ERA and, in 23 starts, those pitchers have held the Phillies to one run or fewer 11 times. Still don’t think the Phillies need offensive help, especially a right-handed bat to balance out the lineup? 

Also, reader Nick just emailed me to point out the outfield’s nickname – Victorino, Ibanez, and Pence – would be VIP. Make it happen, Rube.


33 Responses

  1. All I know is that almost anytime the Phillies play the Astros, they lose. To the FUCKING Astros. And, the reason they’ve lost most of those games is Hunter Pence. He’s killed us. So, maybe I’m judging solely on how he decimates the Phillies, but that’s enough reason for me to want him patrolling right field. That and Domonic Brown sucks my balls and can’t spell.

  2. Shame people are so willing to give up on Dom Brown. Dude is going to be a very good player. Rookie’s get no love anymore. It’s like if you aren’t a gold glover and are not hitting .300 with double your RBI total at this point your not worth the wait. Patience people. If he goes I hope he does amazing and people will be mad as shit at Rube.

  3. Pence would be nice, but not for Cosart and Brown and/or Singleton. 3 top prospects, one of which is in the majors as one of the top rookies in baseball, for a less versatile Victorino?

  4. “For realsies though…”
    Aw FUCK!
    Just when I thought Laddie got cured.
    But I guess it’s just like a bad yeast infection, it just keeps coming back (and he should know about that).

  5. He wants a guy with a >.950 OPS?????? There are a grand total of 8 players with .950 or above at this point in the season. EIGHT. Pence is top-50 in OPS. He’d be the second highest on the team behind only Shane (yes Victorino leads our team in OPS). For what he would mean to this year’s team, there’s no doubt that Pence would be a boost.

  6. But if we take into account the “Werth theory”, maybe Pence would be THAT much better hitting with the guys we have around him?

  7. I want Pence but I also don’t want to drop every single prospect. I want to win this one now, but I don’t want to end up in division last place in 2016 either.

  8. I think Ludwick would be a lot better and prolly cheaper, although I would love Pence (not at the cost of Dom Brown plus what we already offered). Ludwick got to hit with Pujols and was very good and now if he comes to Philly he can hit with Ryan Howard? I think he’d go on a tear. San Diego has no players to afraid of except Ludwick.

  9. Dominic Brown BLOWS. He can’t field, he can’t hit with that awful swing of his, and he doesn’t seem overly intelligent. Trade him for a bag of baseballs if you can get them. He’ll be a 15 HR, 50 RBI guy most of his career.

  10. Good bye Dominic. Our pitching rotation isn’t exactly the youngest thing in the world right now. Neither is the rest of the team. If we want to increase our chances at a World Series win, we need somebody less error/stupidity prone out in the field and a better bat.

  11. The only thing about Pence is that he doesn’t have good stats VS San Fran, he is a .213 hitter vs them career

  12. Your argument that they struggle against potential playoff pitchers would have more meaning if it wasn’t a ridiculously small sample size that has little to no meaning. Come on.

  13. Get it the fuck rube. Give up Dom or Vance & let’s get that mother fucking ring

  14. We didn’t even give up Brown for ROY HALLADAY. You people are fucking nuts, we’re going to get robbed.

  15. On the Fanatic, Mayes says Stark is going to report that the Phillies are the only team left in Pence talks. The Braves put an offer up but it was rejected because it wasn’t good enough. So the Phils are the last team standing.

  16. even if Hunter Pence was awful he’d protect Howard because he is respected around the league, and therefore pitchers would be more careful with Howard. When the opposing pitchers see Shane Victorino in the 5 spot i don’t think they really fear him much, even if he is a good baseball player. His skill set just doesn’t work there and Pence’s does even if in name only

  17. stark wrote in his email that the offer right now is brown, singleton and cosart… pretty much only thing holding it up is that houston is looking for a 3rd team to deal brown to.

  18. 975 has that wrong, Stark meant that its Brown instead of one of the other two, the Phils have to include him, but they can take one of the other two out

  19. gotcha… i think trading dom brown will be a mistake, but the phils seem to be thinking that they are able to replenish their team with their $$

  20. SI_JonHeyman seems like philly will do whatever it takes to land pence. may even try to involve 3rd team to get it done. #tradedeadline

  21. No reason not to do it. You have an opportunity to win that is so rare, you need to do it.

  22. Ken_Rosenthal Ken Rosenthal
    Confirming report by @jaysonst: #Astros trying to land add’l parts from 3rd team to make Pence deal work with #Phillies.

  23. And how many impact lefty starters are mentioned above? Garcia? Wolf? All the impact starters are right handed.
    Pence is a combined 6-34 against Cain and Lincecum- he’s not gonna help you against most of these guys.
    If Howard, Utley and Rollins can’t step up against the tough righties we are screwed either way.

  24. sucks that dom’s gotta go. i would love to have him in our system for a few more years

  25. @K — Personally, I’m not sold on Brown yet. He could have potential in the future, but he’s not helping the club at the present moment and everything hinges on how Amaro & the team feels they could play in the playoffs, especially with this line-up.

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