Today begins rumor week. Just a few hundred yards apart, Joe Banner and Ruben Amaro will nestle in at their desks – poker tables, if you will – and begin their respective processes of crafting and refining championship teams. Just across the river, at the SkateZone, Paul Holmgren will still be trying to stack the Jenga pieces he knocked all over his office like a baby who wanted no part of his spaghetti. You got some on your chin, Paul.
Normally, the roundup is the first thing I do on Mondays, but when I awoke to the news of Ocean City, er, Dry Island and its missing guests (a story you must read before continuing)… well, I had to slide this back a few hours.
Transitioning not-so-seamlessly from an island with no alcohol to a drink you may find on many isles, let's briefly discuss a refreshing, and delicious, summer treat.
On Friday night, after watching Cole Hamels hurl a gem in his Carlton-esque, lanky goodness, a few friends and I took part in some libations in Media, much to the chagrin of Peter Laviolette.
My buddy Keith, instead of ordering five beers for the group, told the bartender he would like to "buy a round." What happened next blew my fucking mind: The 'tender handed him five empty shot glasses, or, drink tokens. It turns out we could redeem the empty glasses for drinks of our choice.
I'm 27 and 11/12-years-old and have spent more time in bars than I care to admit. I had never seen this before. Every time I've ever ordered a round – not often… blogger's salary, yo – I usually pick some watered-down light beer or an estrogenic shot sure to please the masses. I didn't know there were… options.
Being the usual jackass that I am, I said to Keith, "This can get me anything I want?"
"Well, sure. But don't be a dick about it."
With that, I ordered the summer drink that is sweeping the nation my taste buds: Pineapple and vodka.
Ah yes, I can hear the masses now: Clean out your vagina! Would you like an umbrella with your drink, – Kobe Bryant and DeSean Jackson word – !
No, I will not clean out my nether region… and yes, I would like an umbrella with my beverage. Just try it. In this heat especially, the pineapple and vodka is both refreshing and delicious. A little Absolut (a must) poured over ice and drown in fresh pineapple juice. Go ahead, tell me you wouldn't like a sip right now as you sit at your office. I'll wait. You'll drink.
Plus, guys, it, um, makes you, um, sweeter. Remember: refreshing and delicious.
Couple of quick notes:
– On Saturday, our friends from BC Sports will host Cole Hamels, who will be signing autographs for you. Get tickets here.
– Need more refreshing and delicious? Stop by Drinker's during Phillies games (or any time, really). They will be serving $1 refreshing Rolling Rock ponies and, during the games, $1 delicious dogs. Both refreshing and delicious.
– After seeing Cole in his dominant-lefty, striped beauty on Friday night, what could be better than donning Philly Phaithful's perfect Lefty's Alright Carlton homage t-shirt? Nothing, really. Get it here.
– As always, Crossing Broad Tickets has you covered for all your Phillies ticketing needs. Cheaper, aggregated, easy to use. No, that's not a Chinese massage parlor, just our tickets.
Enough with the ludicrous hyperboles, let's get to the news.
– Here are your Phillies Retro Night photos. Sweaty Sarge towel wipe included.
– Michael Vick wants Brett Favre.
– Bill Lyon, legend, writes about Kyle Kendrick's effectiveness.
– If you can get past Philly.com's offensive ads, Sheil Kapadia lists every player the Eagles have been linked to.
– Dan Carcillo's Flyers jersey made an appearance in the promo for next week's Entourage. Thanks to Curtis and (@yojims) for the photo, and the number of other readers who sent us tips.
- Roy Halladay wants the Phillies to make a move. Pretty strong quotes from Doc.
– Here is video of Real Madrid at the Ritz Carlton in Center City. They beat the Union, 2-1, on Saturday night. I'll soon have much more on the blasting apart of my soccer hymen, a term that is very dangerous to Google-check for spelling.
– Our friends at Goodnight Snack put together some of last week's most ironic Tweets.
– Dugout Phunnies released their latest Phillies comic book. Charlie Manuel in a motion-capture suit? Yep.