Morning Wood: Malpractice

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The excellent HK statue. Much more below. [Photo:]

Oh nos. Classic Dan Baker Game that turned into a Center City Rapist.

Watching Doc struggle in the ninth yesterday was like watching Raphael lie helpless in April O’Neill’s bathtub in TMNT. You just wanted to help… but you couldn’t.

Most of you think Charlie left him in there too long. Let’s get his thoughts:

And here’s Doc, who I thought might kill a couple babies on the way to the clubhouse after the ninth inning. Quite frankly, I’m surprised he talked to reporters. Those are eggshells beneath their feet. Video via Ryan Lawrence:

It’s a tough call. On one hand, you want to see Doc finish his games. And he did cruise through the eighth. On the flip side, at least a mound visit is needed once those first two baserunners get on. The Phillies have a ridiculous division lead, there’s really no reason to have the Aces continuosly throw well above 100 pitches.

I know he threw the no-hitter last year, but Doc looked like he lost a little something in the NLCS. Then again, the Giants made a lot of pitchers look that way (Lee, too) and Halladay did suffer a groin injury in Game 5. Who knows? Tough call last night, but maybe a little more caution with the starters… especially since Cole now has shoulder inflammation.

Doc also did his best Cliff Lee last night, roping a single and double… even though he almost got thrown out at second. My Dad said he ran like Pat Burrell. As you know, that’s not a compliment.

Now some good news- for the ladies. Hunter Pence is single. When he left Houston en route to Milwaukee for a weekend set with the Brewers (still a member of the Astros), he had a girlfriend (she Tweeted back and forth with us just before the trade). Now, after stops in Philly, Denver, San Fran, LA, and back to Philly, HP3 is apparently single.

His now ex-girlfriend changed her Facebook status (I hate myself for writing that) from “in a relationship” to “single,” according to a couple of tipsters. And you can also see a myriad passive aggressive Tweets in her Twitter timeline (won’t link to it, but it’s easy to find). In response to a comment about Hunter striking out last night, she replied, “ka ka ka ka karmmaaaaa.” She’s also retweeting things like “You don’t have to give your wife 10 million dollars. Just give her your love” and “Real men always have time for their woman. No matter what, even if he’s busy, he’ll find a way to make time for her.” So, uh, yeah, that’s over. Traveling around the country for three straight weeks and becoming the most popular bachelor in a sports-crazed city doesn’t exactly nurture long-distance relationships.

Taking all of that into account, this has the potential to become an unprecedented three-month stretch for Pence: he’s already beloved, allegedly living with Cliff Lee in a Rittenhouse condo, and now he’s single. Imagine being Pence and walking into a bar with that married magical steed as your wingman: “Why the long face?” 


“Let’s go eat.”

That’s living right here, folks.

Of course, we might want to give him a pass on those strike outs. Judging by Slott’s Tweets, this is all pretty recent.

On to Harry.

I was at the game, watching from about 50 feet away as HK’s statue was unveiled. I went back and re-watched the ceremony this morning- did it bother anyone else that T-Mac and Wheels recorded their open before the ceremony took place? They talked about it in the past tense, but, like always, their open was clearly recorded well before 7 P.M. That irked me.

Other than about seven different people who no one cared about talking for 15 minutes, the ceremony was, as expected, very moving. The Phillies have a nice photo gallery here. butchered Dan Baker’s name:

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Close enough.

Finally, these guys. My new favorite fan fad. Tons of scoreboard time for them, too.

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Very nice, guys. Very nice.

H/T to Mike, Dave, Mike, Ben, and (@1stn4mostMom) for the grabs

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33 Responses

  1. at this point in the season it doesn’t even make sense to get these guys above 85 to 90. i was at the hamels complete game in San Fran, right before Sandoval hit the HR hamels fastball velocity was at 85, for what regular season or statistical achievement are we stretching these guys out? Charlie is a great manager of position players but i think when it comes to pitchers he gets a bit intimidated. Our guys are not gonna volunteer to come out, he needs to be thinking long term goals and tell them to. This season is a failure without a world series win, end of story. Anything that puts that in jeapordy is foolish.

  2. Lets face it, Halladay hasn’t blown a 9th inning lead since 2007. If he had gone out in the 9th 1,2,3 then we wouldn’t be having this conversation. What happened last night just brings the issue to the forefront. Charlie needs to limit these starters to 100 pitches. Whats the difference, 102 wins or 97? Anything less than a World Series is a complete failure. I should quit my job at comcast and get into coaching, I would definitely be handing this situation differently than Charlie.

  3. Watched the ceremony on PHL, it was awesome, just like the statue. Somewhere up in heaven, I’m sure Harry is smiling.
    Now, onto the game. In my opinion, the Phils have no one to blame for last night’s loss but themselves, stranding seven baserunners, including Doc who reached third base TWICE and was left there each time. Pathetic! But, let’s give credit where credit is due, Josh Collmenter and the Arizona bullpen kept the Phils in check all night long, hell, if not for that mistake picth Shane Victorino turned into his two-run bomb, we might have been shut out.
    As for Doc, if I were Uncle Charlie, I absolutely would’ve pulled him after the eighth, pride and ego be damned. I mean, we DO have a closer in Ryan Madson who’s job is to slam the door on the opposition in the ninth. Like Kyle said, with the large division lead we have, there’s no reason to let our starters rack up such bloated numbers in August, only to have them come up short with tired arms in October when it REALLY counts.
    By the by, was I alone in hurling a few choice profanities at J-Roll when he looked to have taken his time on a ground ball hit by lumbering Lyle Overbay who beat the throw to first? The D-Backs might be as unknown to me as a homeless man on the street, but damn, those guys sure hustle! With the Giants doing a fast fade, I think people had better keep an eye on the Snakes who’ve taken control of the West!

  4. I said it before and I’ll say it again – Pencey’s ex isn’t even that hot. He can do way better and he absolutely will very soon if he’s not already.
    While reading her tweets about how Hunter would be thrilled to go to Philly and how she’s heard it’s so beautiful here in the fall – I remember thinking “who the fuck said she’s even invited to come here with him?” clearly, I wasn’t wrong.

  5. Wow, Bitchadelphia, clearly you weren’t wrong when you chose that screen name. WTF did she ever do to you?!

  6. Should’ve seen the bobblehead dudes tryin to get into their car WITH THE HEADS STILL ON! …..HILARIOUS!

  7. He left him in too long. First time it’s backfired. Oh well. Glad it wasn’t the playoffs.

  8. There’s something about Roy Halladay that doesn’t make a lot of sense about Roy Halladay these past few starts. First you always here coaches and other players praising and jock riding about the shape Doc keeps himself in offseason and in season. And about how his workouts are incredible and how he does them religiously. Well he couldn’t hang past the 5th inning in Chicago due to the heat. Now for a world class athlete that only works every 5th day I found that whole debacle in Chi town a little weak and just didn’t sound right. Then last night after he hit that double he came out onto the mound and looked like he just ran a tri athalon. To me it’s pretty damn pathetic if your a pro athlete and you can’t hit a double and come back out looking all drained. Ole Roy is not in as great shape as many of us belief. Maybe his arm is but his body is just not keeping up. Remember he’s a starting pitcher who works every 5th day and besides that plays a pretty mellow non contact sport plus he’s not asked to have the best bat on the team. I think more questions need and should be asked about Roy’s health or workout regime. I love Doc as much as the next guy but something just doesn’t seem right.

  9. Anyone else notice that the twitter pic for HP3’s ex has a loading circle right in the middle? How do you even make that mistake? What a dumb bitch.

  10. do we need to write a petition to charlie to stop being an idiot and pitching roy, cole, and cliff 8 innings almost every single game? like, what does he think comes out of doing that besides wearing them down before playoffs? sometimes the shit he does baffles me.

  11. score more runs – man on 3rd – 1 out – get the run in – don’t swipe at pitched out of the strike zone

  12. Well, Laddie. So you’re you’re a year older now and you’re all smug right now because you feel that you krafted a pretty decent blog entry today… Well, I don’t want to bring you down—not just because it’s fun for me to do—but you still need a lot of work before you can claim bragging rights and get all smug over yourself (which is still easy to do even though you’re older and suppossed to be morer mature). So let’s get started:
    1) “Center City Rapist”: OK, you cleverley linked to an old entry that’s topicall. But correct me if I’m wrong, but nowhere in that entire thing do you define/describe a “Center City Rapist” game. What a dud of a letdown. So a

    for you.
    2) It’s “My dad”, not “My Dad”. You only capitallize it if you’re refering to him directly verses posessively. E.G.: “When Dad comes home he’s going to kill us.” and “When my dad comes home he’s going to kill us.”
    Look Boyo, I know you love your dad and you think he’s special, but I’ve known many dad’s (except my own) and he’s no different than the rest. I certanly don’t want my kids (whoever/wherever they are) thinking that way about me because I want them to face reality so they can deal with the real world. Savvy?
    On another note, good for LGE-HP3 on ditching that Lindsay Slutt for better trim. He probably found out what real panocha feels like—Philadelphia-Freedom Panocha, the best kind. I bet she’s the tippickall Texas hoower, probably praying that she get’s better in the sack instead of educating herself to be better. You know, because all people in Texas do is pray to improve their lot on life. They pray for rain instead of learning to conserve and irragate and manage water better. And instead of coming up with better answers to solve this country’s economic problems, their governer gathers a whole shyteload of fellow dipshyte Texans to pray that it’ll get better. Christ, what the hell that f*ckin hot weather down there does to those dooshes. Hunter, you may be a TX boy (and as long as we “Let’s Go Eat”, you’ll get a pass), but that doesn’t mean your trim has to be.

  13. I totally agree that the aces need to be used less and the pen more.
    And damn, my wife is nearly 40 and hotter than Pences’ GF was (this is why I molest her every chance I get, mostly while she’s trying to sleep). It was a matter of time before that was a thing of the past.

  14. I agree ledweight, your 40yo wife is much more hotter than Lindsay Slutt. Can I molest her too (you guys into that swinging stuff)?
    And thankyou Boyo for not linking Slott’s tweeter page. I’m begining to realize that twitter makes annoying boring people even more annoying boring.

  15. Love how everyone’s such a vicious judge of “trim” under the annonymity of the internet. All the girl did was respond to a direct question about coming to Philly. I’m sure you all go home to supermodels. Assholes…

  16. IBM- the Center City Rapist is another name for the West Philly Gang Bang. Read closer.

  17. jesus christ guys get a life. who cares who pence is or isnt dating. im 99.9% positive it will never be any of you.

  18. Hahahahahah, Mary pat my Putzmeister: I love you. Without the internets, we don’t exist. You need to evolve:

    “Read closer.”
    Posted by: Kyle Scott | August 17, 2011 at 03:29 PM
    Uh, sorry Laddie, but you still screwed the pooch.
    I think you should have wrote “Also known as: ‘Center City Rapist'” instead of “Similar to: ‘Center City Rapist'” You’re trying to make the case that they are sinnonims as opposed to being just like each other. If they are not interchangeable names for each other, then you must define both. When you do this shyte you sound like a “F***ing Amateur”

    PS: “The ringer cannot look empty.” hahahahahah
    (PSS: Muzzle Toffee to Tara Reid on her recent nuptuals hahahahah)

  19. BTW, Mary pat me Putzmeister, I looked at her tweets, not at the way she looked. And it took a very short time to conclude that Lindsay Slutt was annoying boring, regardless of looks. As for going home to supermodels, sure, I’d do it if they were bound and gagged. They’re annoying boring too. I’d rather go home with a “proffesional” that I paid for. I can shop for what I want and I tip well if they’re not annoying boring.
    And *I* care who he’s getting to “feed the monkey”—in the parlance of our times (

    )—because if HP3 ain’t happy, then he ain’t Let’s-Go-Eatting.

  20. LGE-HP3 should get a girl like this. I like her style/personality:

    And I got that face plenty of times in the past before I began to strictly stick to only proffesionalls.

  21. One last rant at Mary pat me Putzmeister before we get into a whose-soapbox-is-higher war. Reference the following comment from another blog entry ( ):
    “Twitter has got to be the first sign of the apocalypse. I’m as big a phan as the next person, but if you’re gonna tell everyone ALL THIS SHIT day after day, it’s gonna get tiresome REALLY quick. I seriously don’t give a damn how his bacon turns out (well maybe figuratively, but not literally)…”
    Posted by: Mary Pat | August 17, 2011 at 02:48 PM
    Oh my god, Mary pat me Putzmeister, what a heartlessly insensitive comment you made. How drastic your view differs from mine (comparativley speaking). How easy it is to do under the annonimaty of the internets. I’m sure you go home every night to Phillies Adonises look-alikes. Hahahahahah hippocrit.

  22. “sinnonims? tippickall?” Posted by: MrDioji | August 17, 2011 at 06:15 PM
    Ahbveeuslee you failed hookt on fonics, because “Dioji” don’t mean anything.

  23. This is very dangerous ground for us to be on, because growing as a disciple, is not about attaining moral perfection. Jesus gave his life, not just his life (cliche reference), but his actual life, so that moral perfection was not the standard we were to be judged by anymore. Discipleship, following Jesus, is all about a journey we go on with Jesus toward restoration and wholeness! So it doesn’t matter how old the person on this journey is, they are not to be measured by their moral behaviour, but they are to find their measurement in God against that transformational power of what Jesus did on the cross. If this becomes someone’s experience then we will see a life transformed by God.
    That is my hope hope, dream and desire for our young people. Not that they are perfect, who can or wants to be perfect? But that they know, experience and exude the transforming presence of God. It is this that can and will make all the difference!

  24. The spark that caused the riot was the shooting of a black by police, but the riot that ensued appears to have been dominated by looters (many of them white) hoping to get away with their loot in the confusion of a riot. They seem not to have reckoned with England’s extraordinary network of surveillance cameras, or with the anger of the people (including the Pakistani storekeepers victimized by the looters), which has resulted in many arrests and the swift imposition of substantial prison sentences on the looters and now a movement to evict looters and their families from publicly subsidized housing. The evicted may be more prone to engage in criminal activity, but the hope is that the threat of eviction, and of collective punishment (family members along with the malefactor), will deter more riotous behavior than it encourages.

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