Morning Wood: Malpractice

The excellent HK statue. Much more below. [Photo: Phillies.com]

Oh nos. Classic Dan Baker Game that turned into a Center City Rapist.

Watching Doc struggle in the ninth yesterday was like watching Raphael lie helpless in April O’Neill’s bathtub in TMNT. You just wanted to help… but you couldn’t.

Most of you think Charlie left him in there too long. Let’s get his thoughts:

And here’s Doc, who I thought might kill a couple babies on the way to the clubhouse after the ninth inning. Quite frankly, I’m surprised he talked to reporters. Those are eggshells beneath their feet. Video via Ryan Lawrence:

It’s a tough call. On one hand, you want to see Doc finish his games. And he did cruise through the eighth. On the flip side, at least a mound visit is needed once those first two baserunners get on. The Phillies have a ridiculous division lead, there’s really no reason to have the Aces continuosly throw well above 100 pitches.

I know he threw the no-hitter last year, but Doc looked like he lost a little something in the NLCS. Then again, the Giants made a lot of pitchers look that way (Lee, too) and Halladay did suffer a groin injury in Game 5. Who knows? Tough call last night, but maybe a little more caution with the starters… especially since Cole now has shoulder inflammation.

Doc also did his best Cliff Lee last night, roping a single and double… even though he almost got thrown out at second. My Dad said he ran like Pat Burrell. As you know, that’s not a compliment.

Now some good news- for the ladies. Hunter Pence is single. When he left Houston en route to Milwaukee for a weekend set with the Brewers (still a member of the Astros), he had a girlfriend (she Tweeted back and forth with us just before the trade). Now, after stops in Philly, Denver, San Fran, LA, and back to Philly, HP3 is apparently single.

His now ex-girlfriend changed her Facebook status (I hate myself for writing that) from “in a relationship” to “single,” according to a couple of tipsters. And you can also see a myriad passive aggressive Tweets in her Twitter timeline (won’t link to it, but it’s easy to find). In response to a comment about Hunter striking out last night, she replied, “ka ka ka ka karmmaaaaa.” She’s also retweeting things like “You don’t have to give your wife 10 million dollars. Just give her your love” and “Real men always have time for their woman. No matter what, even if he’s busy, he’ll find a way to make time for her.” So, uh, yeah, that’s over. Traveling around the country for three straight weeks and becoming the most popular bachelor in a sports-crazed city doesn’t exactly nurture long-distance relationships.

Taking all of that into account, this has the potential to become an unprecedented three-month stretch for Pence: he’s already beloved, allegedly living with Cliff Lee in a Rittenhouse condo, and now he’s single. Imagine being Pence and walking into a bar with that married magical steed as your wingman: “Why the long face?” 

“Whatever.”

“Let’s go eat.”

That’s living right here, folks.

Of course, we might want to give him a pass on those strike outs. Judging by Slott’s Tweets, this is all pretty recent.

On to Harry.

I was at the game, watching from about 50 feet away as HK’s statue was unveiled. I went back and re-watched the ceremony this morning- did it bother anyone else that T-Mac and Wheels recorded their open before the ceremony took place? They talked about it in the past tense, but, like always, their open was clearly recorded well before 7 P.M. That irked me.

Other than about seven different people who no one cared about talking for 15 minutes, the ceremony was, as expected, very moving. The Phillies have a nice photo gallery here.

MLB.com butchered Dan Baker’s name:

Close enough.

Finally, these guys. My new favorite fan fad. Tons of scoreboard time for them, too.

Very nice, guys. Very nice.

H/T to Mike, Dave, Mike, Ben, and (@1stn4mostMom) for the grabs