Morning Wood: Playoffs

Screen Shot 2011-09-15 at 9.10.36 AM
Doc’s thing went off.

The thing that tells him it’s playoff time. It’s not unlike the thing Peter Griffin speaks of, the thing that is ingrained in all men and tells them when someone touches the thermostat.  

Doc’s thing went off.

Last year, with a chance to clinch the division and his first playoff appearance, the Doctor threw a complete shutout in front of 20,000 Phillies fans in Washington. 

In his first post-season start, he threw a no-hitter. A no-hitter. Thing. Off.

Yesterday, our two-armed beast took the mound, this time with a chance to pitch the Phillies into the playoffs, on September 14th

Complete game shutout.

Doc’s thing went off.

The Phillies beat the Astros, 1-0. Video highlights here. Doc talked about his dominance. Video via David Hale of the Wilmington News Journal. A number of stats in his post-game roundup, too.

Doc threw 35 curveballs. Incredibly, 28 of them were for strikes. 28. That’s 80%. Excuse me for a second: That’s fucking ridiculous.

Screen Shot 2011-09-15 at 9.00.19 AM Image via Brooks Baseball

Want to know why he threw so many? Just take a gander at those purple dots. He threw some curveballs that were nearly 20 mph less than his fastball, and most of them broke between 9 and 13 inches. That’s, like, a foot. This is absolutely the baseball equivalent of being well-hung. If Cliff Lee pisses excellence on the mound, then, yesterday, Doc unzipped and left behind a pile of DNA on Houston’s bump.

If that doesn’t leave you rock solid and with amatory baseball feelings, then take a look at the comparison between Doc and Cliff.

Before yesterday’s game, their numbers were very similar- same ERA and innings pitched, and many other numbers that were nearly identical. One thoroughbred briefly inched ahead in the Cy Young race:

Roy Halladay: 219.2 IP, 2.34 ERA, 211 K, 30 BB, 1.04 WHIP, 8 CG, 1 SO

Cliff Lee: 210.2, 2.44 ERA, 211 K, 42 BB, 1.03 WHIP, 6 CG, 6 SO

Today, Clifton Phifer will have a chance to equal Doc. Should he throw another complete game shutout, they will once again have the same number of innings pitched and an identical ERA. 


Chase Utley is a mean baseball player. A mean fucking baseball player. He may return today, that jerk.

Bob Brookover on the Phillies’ whatever attitude.

The Big Lead on It's Always Sunny and all of their sports references.

Finally, important PSA: A couple weeks ago, we told you about Hollywood Leaks, a Twitter account posting pictures and information from celeb cell phones. Well, two pictures of a nude Scarlett Johannson were leaked this week. Won't link to it, but just wanted to keep you updated on all developments… you have Google.


11 Responses

  1. Bob Brookover: “It has been boring because no team has challenged the pitching-rich Phillies since the beginning of the season.” HUH? The Braves, right after the All-Star break, were only 3.5 games behind the Phils, and had the second best record in baseball. The All-Star break wasn’t THAT long ago. Sure, the Braves haven’t been able to keep up with the Phils pace over the last 6-8 weeks, but to say that they weren’t “challenged” for the first 4+ months of the season is ridiculous. Also, I haven’t found one second of this Phillies season boring AT ALL!

  2. I don’t know what got me more excited. Doc’s shutout or the ScarJo pics. Either way, it was a glorious day.

  3. Where are these ScarJo pics that you speak of? I can’t seem to find them on Hollyoods tweeter acct.

  4. The ScarJo pics were somewhat of a letdown. Don’t get me wrong, I’d eat breakfast in bed off of her ass every morning of my life if I was ever so lucky.
    Then again, she is listed on the Jeter herpes tree.

  5. I agree they were a bit of a letdown. But what makes them great in a way is the realism. They’re not all glossy and fake. It’s like she was just laying in bed and decided to take naughty pics and oops someone found them on her iphone. And now here they are for us all to see.
    But just google “scarlett johansson nude pics” and it’s like the 3rd link down. It’s called buzznet or something.

  6. Jason- Agree. If there was a way you’d picture Scarlett Johansson’s nude photos to be, it’s exactly what we see. Tasteful, subtle, and you come away respecting her more than you did before.

Comments are closed.