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Welcome to the latest installment of the NBA lockout chronicles. Yesterday, we played for you the latest Lou Will-Meek Mill collabo. Today? Beaker gets a dog.

That’s right, our man Evan Turner took to the Tweets to talk about his purchases of a new pup, a Cane Corso that he’s going to name “Brutus.”


Oh holy cute. I'm assuming ET knows that picture just scored him major ass (girls love babies, dogs, and hummus). Of course, he learned the hard way just how unpredictable puppies can be. Just a short while after posting the above picture, Turner gave us all an update:

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Poor Brutus.

A Cane Corso is one badass dog. Just look at this thing when it’s fully grown. It was almost built to be a companion to macho athletes. But what about bloggers? - transition! - Ms CB. and I have batted around the idea of getting a pup, but there’s a strong disconnect on the breed. I want a comically large, friendly Lab. Ms. CB wants a Puggle.

I grew up with two not-so-friendly little dogs, so, unlike Robert De Niro’s character in Meet The Parents, I’m looking for the happiest, most predictable, throw me a stick, I’ll go get it dog there is. I don’t care if he slobbers and falls all over the place. I just want a canine that wags his tail and eats tennis balls.

Ms. CB? A Puggle. 

I think we’ve reached an impasse. Help.