You Mad! Clearing Out the Post Massacre Inbox

Screen Shot 2011-10-03 at 9.59.22 AM

I just had to use this picture again

Needless to say, you weren't happy.


Brian via Twitter on Rollins [aggregated]

I think it's lame to blame anyone other than yourself for your shortcomings. I work nite shift in a ER and don't get paid millions to do it or get endorsement deals. All I get are more bills that I have to work OT to pay. 46k fans paid to see u play a game that I play from 5-17y/o because I loved it. You get millions and us doors ad fans even pay for u to sign a damn ball that we stand in line for and maybe even get to shake your hand. I am a cancer survivor, think my bills cared that I was sick. Now shut you mouth JRoll and give it your all to give your teammates and fans the distinction of being called a champion. That's why I give players like cliff lee (turned down $ cause he wanted to be here) and Pence (who play) the respect they deserve. JRoll u broken down ex-MVP crybaby that finds a excuse for loosing. Don't worry about the hometown discount cause after this year you can move along. But you owe us and your teammates some dedication. Damn, sorry I had to vent. Slept 3 1/2 hrs cause I watched that mess of a Eagles game and stayed up to watch OUR Phillies.


Just sucks that I pay hard earned money to meet players who don't appreciate what we as fans give. Our heart, soul and $  just to shake their hand and sign a damn baseball. The nicest player I've met was Bake McBride who shook my daughters, who was 4 @ the time. and complimented her on her nails and asked her name. For Christ sake we pay hundreds to wear THEIR last on our back. Damn what I wouldn't do to meet some of these players. But to hear that we weren't as loud as they expected? damn For god sake doesn't anyone have pride anymore? Or are u so self absorbed that money and material objects are all the make you who u are? When someone like me is pushing on your chest when u flatline it all won't matter. Damn and I didn't even get to see 1 game this year with my 8 & 3 y/o daughters. That I BUY a game used ball from all the games we've gone to just so I have the memory of being a dad.


More after the jump.



Adam on the Eagles

I apologize in advance for this novel about the birds…but I wanted you to take a look and give me your thoughts…

here. we. go.

I don't even know where to start.  Can we even be surprised that this is happening?  Seriously…we had to know that this team was going to implode with all the big time free agents and all the hype.  Honestly tho, I can't even hate the players right now.  This team's issues starts at the top and it trickles all the way down. 

Let's start with Jeff Lurie….I give the man credit as he has put money into this team and has made a lot of good decisions to completely turn the franchise around from when he purchased it.  But I really don't think the man is really all THAT concerned with winning a Super Bowl.  I imagine as long as d*cks like you and I keep lining his pockets with cash by purchasing tickets and merchandise he is completely happy.  His team is competitive enough to get a few primetime games every year, potentially get a home playoff game (extra revenue, son) and stays popular locally and nationally.  Sure, every few years he lets the FO make some big free agent moves (ie. Owens and Kearse, Samuel, and this off season spree) but for the most part he always seem frugal with his money.  It doesn't seem he is 100% invested into his team winning a championship the way some owners are.  We'd NEVER see Lurie sitting on the 50 yard line with the fans the way Mark Cuban does (i know different sport, and he's super annoying but you can tell he wants the Mavs to win more than ANYTHING).

Now let’s look at Lurie's lackey Joe Banner.  I can't think of a person I loathe more in all of Philadelphia's sports history.  I HATE everything about that man, his stupid haircut, that stupid look he always has on his face (the one that says "I just farted the most rancid fart ever…if someone smells it I'm going to pretend it wasn't me, look), and even his stupid Boston accent.  This so called "Salary Cap Genius" is nothing more than an upper level accountant.  The man knows NOTHING about football talent.  Sure he can crunch numbers, but how does that translate into wins on the field?  He is playing with fire with D-Jax and I can't imagine his contract situation ending happily, esp when they don't give him a deal and then franchise him next year.  the sh*t is going to hit the fan.  But worse than any of this is his smug attitude towards the media, which in turn is slapping the fans in the face.  You can't call yourself the Gold Standard when you haven't won d*ck…a**hole!

I'm not even going to waste my time on Howie Roseman.  Dude is treating a real NFL team like he is playing Franchise Mode in Madden.  Clearly just signing all the best free agents doesn’t turn into wins.  Ask Daniel Synder how that plan has worked for the Redskins.  How the F&%K did he even get started in football anyway!?!?  Seriously, does anyone even know how this happened?  Is his dad boys with Lurie or something?  That geek hasn't even played a game of dodge ball in his life, let alone a down of football and he is the GM of an NFL team?!?  Seriously?  Are we being Punk'd?!?

Ok…I've made it this far, and I haven't had a stroke yet…now let’s look at the man who is MOST at fault for this nightmare…Andy F%$KING Reid….

First of all, if we think Banner is smug…Andy takes it to a whole different level.  He is the most pompous a** this side of Bill Belichick…the difference is Belichick is allowed to treat the media like a**holes because he's won SUPER BOWLS. Plural…as in more than ONE….as in THREE!  So if he wants to be a dick to the media…go ahead Bill, be my guest, you cut off sleeve hoodie wearing d*uche (don't get me wrong…i HATE Belichick, but the point is Andy is just as bad as Belichick…but he hasn't earned that right).  Seriously, we could take any post game press conference after ANY loss from over the last 13 years, record it, and just play that tape after EVERY loss over the last 13 years.  It's the same bull sh*t…."I, um, need to put the players in a better position, *cough* to win.  It, *cough* starts with me, I need to, um get better…..blah, blah, blah".  Seriously, every single time he gets to the podium it's like he is saying "I'm better than you, I don't need to tell you sh*t…and piss on the fans, they'll be happy when we win a few games".  Well it's not acceptable any longer.

You would think that if someone made mistakes that made him to not be as successful as he wants to be that he would correct those mistakes, right?  Would we get to keep our jobs if we continued to make the SAME mistakes for 13 years?!?  I highly doubt it.  Well, it's been 13 YEARS and he is still making the SAME GOD D*MN MISTAKES!  Horrible clock management, horrible play calling, ignoring the running game, horrendous draft picks and just being flat out stubborn.

I can't stand for the life of me how he acts like he has invented the game of football.  Guess what, you fat tard, not team in the HISTORY of the NFL has EVER won a Super Bowl with the run/pass ratio that you have been running out there for 13 YEARS.  There is no other coach that has been able to keep his job as long as Andy has, while being so poor at in game adjustments.  Seriously, the man REFUSES to ever change up from the game plan during the course of a game.  If they plan to throw on a team…they're going to throw it, regardless of the results, score, time whatever.  I really can't take it anymore.

It is time Andy Reid is called out for what he is.  A barely above average Head Coach in the NFL.  I know he is the winningest coach in Eagles history, I get that.  But that's like being the smartest kid with downs (too much?!?).  If you look back at his tenure you can truly see how he was 1. inherited a team that was on the cusp of being competitive, and 2. damn lucky.  

He took over a roster that Ray Rhodes had been building.  The defense was already solid (Trotter, Dawkins, Taylor, Vincent, Al Harris) the offensive line already had Tra Thomas (a Rhodes pick, and then they got lucky in signing Runyan in 2000), and Andy picked Donavon #2 overall in the 1999 draft.  So the core for the 2004 Super Bowl team had already been in place when Andy took over.  As far as being lucky, take a look at the NFC East over the first 6 years he was Head Coach.  The Giants were the ONLY team that has been consistently good.  Washington has pretty much be horrible for all of Andy's 13 years, and Dallas has been up and down, mostly down. Seriously, look at his record against teams above/below .500 including this year.


71-18-1 against teams below .500

48-58 against teams .500 or above.


That shows me he is a guy who is consistently out coached by better teams and has made his bones picking on the weak part of his schedule.

Another thing that drives me up a wall is Andy has this reputation as being this personnel GENIUS.  Are you sh*tting me?!?  Take a look at his drafts (I sent you break down of them prior to this year’s draft which is just as bad as the ones prior).  They are HORRIBLE.  He has had ONE excellent draft, 2002, where he got Lito, Sheldon, Michael Lewis and BWest.  Yes, I know he got lucky taking D-Jax in the 2nd round, picking Maclin and Shady back to back in 2009.  Getting Cole in the 5th round.  But if you really take a look at his drafts over the last 13 years, he has missed and missed HORRIBLY on a majority of his picks.  I can't for the life of me understand how he can justify starting 3 linebackers with the average draft position of 5.667th rd.  He doesn't value that position, and it's f*&cking crazy.  I think it should be a red flag when he has has SO many undrafted free agent rookies make the team over the years.  The man has LIVED on the McNabb pick and the 2002 draft and it's time people take notice that he is FAR from being a great talent scout.

After these last 3 games he should be fired immediately.  By hiring his 13 year offensive line coach to be the DEFENSIVE CORDINATOR he has acted negligent toward his team, and more importantly his fans.  Hiring Howard Mudd to run an offensive line scheme that they do not have the right personnel for is negligence.  Hiring Jim Washburn, and having him run that Wide 9 without having capable linebackers is negligence.  The fact he had a 20 point lead and ran the ball 9 times…NINE TIMES….with one of the league’s best backs is negligence.  

I love the Eagles, and I bleed green. But I honestly cannot take this anymore.  At this point, I honestly hope they go 5-11 and maybe, just maybe there will be some God damn change.  Because if they end up 10-6 again and slide into the playoffs just to lose in the first round, we're gonna be looking at his fat face again next year and I'll be going postal.

Andy Reid…..Andy F%$KING Reid……

PS…if Cole doesn’t stand up, take a p*ss on the radiator and grab his balls in St. Louis tomorrow night, you can kiss the Phils dream season goodbye.

PPS….I'm f%$cking salty this morning…



Joe on Andy

You should have called your Andy Reid post, “Hey Andy – Fuck You”



Tony on choking 

Today's edition of Morning Wood is brought to you by Heimlich, for all of your choking needs and situations. 

Ughhh, terrible.  How much longer are we gonna have to hear Reid say "I have to do a better job" or "I take responsibillity"?  Last I checked in the real world when you "take responsibillity" there are consequences…where are his?  It's the same shit after every loss, his pressers are getting harder and harder to watch.  HE is the only constant, HE is only big name left in the last 13yrs…all else have gone.  So first it was TO's fault, then McNabb's…well what about Reid?  The definition of insanity is to do the same thing over and over again while expecting a different result.  It's time for Reid to go, I've long supported him because in reality he's still a decent coach.  A lot of other organizations would love to have the long term success we've had…but at the end of the day he still hasn't won the big one, he still gets out-coached and his plays are as predictable as my alarm clock going off every morning for work.  It's time for a change.  HE owns this debacle, HE drafted an unproven O-lineman in the first round, HE wanted Juan as the D-coordinator, HE decided the linebackers and safeties were adequate after the team went "all in". 

It's time Reid "takes responsibillity" and hits up the unemployment line.



Shane on Jaime Garcia, the Cardinals' Game 3 starter

The Phillies career numbers vs game 3 starter, Jaime Garcia.

Ruiz 0-3.

Howard 2-12.

Utley 0-6.

Rollins 1-11.

Polanco 2-11.

Ibanez 1-3.

Victorino 2-9.

Pence 3-15. 

Total, 11-70 for a  .157 average. Pence has one HR against him. Cole needs to put the team on his back here, eh?



Matthew on Cliff Lee's beard 

im not superstitous but i am a little stitous.

though i feel like watching all season i have noticed one constant: cliff lee with a beard isnt as good as a clean shaved cliff lee.

the only proof i have is this link:

[Editor's note. The stats from when that was written in July:

With beard: 4-4 3.85 ERA

Without beard: 5-2 1.80 ERA

Cliff Lee had a beard last night]

good talk, go phils.



Mike via Twitter on karma being a bitch

any chance yesterday was Karmic retribution because I watched that 'Red Sox Collapse' YouTube video 6 times on Friday?



Actually, I think Mike hit it right on the head. Deep breath, folks.

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13 Responses

  1. hey if you guys want to meet the players move to new jersey like me and you will run into all the time. Then when you do meet them all you tough talking behind a keyboard pussies wont say anything to them but “can i have your autograph” so shut the fuck up and get your cheering ready for tomorrow nights game.

  2. dear adam on the eagles,
    id like to have your children. your referring to andy as a genius with downs made this terrible monday enjoyable for a few minutes

  3. dwayne,
    your criticize people for “talking tough behind a keyboard” though arent you doing the same thing with your comment?
    pot calling the kettle black?
    by the way how is life in camden?

  4. Whoever Adam on the Eagles is…you’re the fucking man. Somebody on the eagles needs to walk in to Andy reids office, attempt to kick him in between his fat ass thighs, and tell him to run the damn ball. Then while they’re at it, go find Joe Banner beat the shit out of him and shave his head. And for shits and giggles if they happen to see Howie Douchebag Roseman, club him with a helmet, then take a piss on him as he lays on the ground sobbing in the fetal position crying out for his mother. First person to do so will receive $1000 from me.
    And possibly if they could make a trip to St Louis for us to cut off Jaime Garcia’s throwing arm, that would be great.

  5. Hey Dimitri camden is pretty nice and i bet there are more million dollar homes in camden than in your lilly white neighborhood…
    best believe i talk the same shit in these streets as i do behind these keys. i called 5 out one night when he was out partying and the eagles were 0-4. Got into with Hollis Thomas one night in a club in old city over them needing T O back on the team.
    try to be more creative next time asshole.

  6. Sorry to say this, but:
    Roy Hallady’s beard > Justin Verlander’s beard > than Cliff Lee’s beard.
    Also, I’m not one to critteek since I lost all me body follickles—including me beard—for life in an industrial accident, but we sawr a closeup on last night’s game and Lee has the strangest of cowlicks smack dab in the middle of that thing.

  7. Dear Brian and others- athletes do not care about you. No not even Cliff Lee, who I saw sign exactly zero autographs at spring training btw. Maybe instead of freaking out and telling a guy who helped save this franchise to pack his bags we take a step back and realize that is ridiculous.
    Players owe you a solid effort on the field and that’s it. If you want to bitch about someone, how about Lee who blew a game that we never should have lost and still got cheered like a hero walking off the mound.
    Kyle- stop it with the Jimmy nonsense. You obviously don’t like him, we get it.

  8. @jenna we should talk…
    @Captain Stabbin’ seriously…he always looks like he is smelling his own farts and is completely horrified someone else might catch a whiff…
    @PissedoffPhillyFan I’d love to be the gentlemen you described…but you can keep the $1000…i’d do it for the pure joy of it.

  9. The theme of today’s lecture is don’t believe in arrests of alleged terrorists without proof as non-Muslims are liars … I don’t believe them because they are kuffaar and lying is part of their religion. (Kuffaar is an Arabic word meaning non-believer or an infidel. Its contemporary usage in the UK is highly derogatory).

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