Your Drinker’s Philadelphia CB Six Pack

As always, this segment is sponsored by our friends from Drinker’s Philadelphia, where you can get $1 hot dogs during all Eagles and Flyers games. And really cheap drinks. Always.

Phillies: I’m not over it. And to all those meta, overanalyzing bloggers and writers who think differently: get in touch with your readers.

There are so many small – yet loud – sects of Phillies fans on the internet who take everything just one step too seriously. Some folks rely too heavily on stats, others are too forgiving of players, and some just don’t have a clue. The Phillies are much bigger and reach many more people than just the I finally had a thrill in my life, 24-7 Twitter users, who instinctively flinch any time anyone says anything bad about their team. Phillies fans range from 10-year-olds who loves sports to 65-year-olds who grew up listening to Bill Campbell. The greatest era in Phillies history may have just come to an end. Sure, they’ll be good next year (and perhaps for the foreseeable future), but the core of the team is aging, some of our most beloved players will depart in the next few months (J-Roll™, Madson, Ibanez, Lidge), and the team’s best regular season ever (read: ever) was flushed down the drain in a five-game series against guys named Freese and Motte and Schujohnwanamaker and Garcia, after the Phillies held a series lead. Twice.

The worst part about the loss is that we got so caught up in planning a parade that we forgot to acknowledge the impending departures mentioned above. We thought the remaining players still had a few productive seasons left, and while that very well may still be the case, there are serious questions about the lineup’s productivity and Ryan Howard’s blown-to-shreds Achilles, both of which are casting a dark shadow on the next few seasons.

So, over-thinking, too-easily-forgiving, I’m so much more refined than the average fan internet soothsayers– stop whining about our sadness. Complaining about our pain has replaced Shane Victorino as the most annoying local internet trend… and it’s only taken like three days.

Victorino: You know my thoughts, but at least now FOX has tasked him to Tweet about how great the postseason is. So we can just blame Joe Buck, or something.

Hip Hop: The rabbit is number three on my Things That Must Go in local sports list, just behind CSN’s zen third base camera that was introduced this year for Phillies broadcasts*… and Chris Wheeler.

*If you don’t know what camera I’m talking about, keep an eye out for it next year– it has an obviously different refresh rate, more saturated colors, and a thin black border on the corners. 

I think we’re making some progress on Hip Hop’s death, but I don’t have anything concrete.

Crossing Broads: I really just chose this topic because I wanted to talk about the new Ice Girl uniforms, which fall somewhere between underwear and I wore this on Halloween so you’d fuck me. I’m leaning towards the latter… and that’s a good thing. And the girls perform a much needed function, because the NHL never got by for 70 years without scantily clad coeds shaking their tail-feathers in goaltenders faces during TV timeouts. Nope, never. Ice Girls all the way.

Crossing Bros: Cooter has the nickname, the now you see them now you don’t teeth, and he’s only 18. Harry Z has porn charges against him and was a hockey player at an Ivy League college (quite possibly the most underrated jersey-chasing quotient). But I gotta go Cooter. I mean, his nickname is Cooter!

Goal horn or Peco: I hate both. But I want to talk about something else that was mentioned in the Six Hole way back in February. Then, we asked what (who) would last longer: Raul Ibanez’s beard or Moammar Gadhafi. Well, I picked Moammar, and I was right. However, both had an up and down run and neither will be seen again.

 

This week’s Drinker’s Challenge: Guess correctly the number of saves made by Flyers goalies tomorrow night against the Blues. We have 10 pairs of tickets to give away for a special screening of Friday Night Lights on Tuesday night (well that doesn’t seem to make sense now, does it?). The movie’s director, Peter Berg; author, Buzz Bissinger; and Glen Macnow will be on hand for a discussion. 

Also, the Philadelphia Film Society is sponsoring a screening of a new documentary, UNDEFEATED, tonight at The Ritz at 5 PM. It’s the story of Memphis teenagers and their volunteer coach who struggles to keep their lives on track. Be sure to check it out.

If we have more than 10 winners, we’ll choose at random. Enter after the jump.

 

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19 Responses

  1. They really need to go back the goal they used to use. There’s like 7 teams in the league that use the same droning fog horn they use now it’s quite annoying.

  2. I think more annoying than the ridiculous goal horn and the peeco power play is the stupid doop song.

  3. get hip hop out of here. suggestion sent to newsixersowner.com:
    Please get rid of Hip Hop. Granted, Big Shot was no Phanatic (or Swoop (or even Super Swoop, for that matter)), but Hip Hop is an abomination and a disgrace. He is rude, he is crude, he is rarely funny, and his shooting percentage on over the head shots from the opposite foul line has dropped consistently over the past decade. Hip Hop was a desperate and misguided gimmick hoping to capitalize on the urban appeal of the Iverson led Sixers. But where Iverson was a warrior, Hip Hop is a heartless farce. The city has rejected him from day one, evidenced by the series of associated ploys (ranging from the ill-fated and asinine Lil G to the current, hopeless Hare-Raisers) PR has birthed in an attempt to boost that dumb rabbit’s standing in the public eye. Playing in the increasingly competitive Eastern Conference, the task at hand for our 76ers is already tough enough; to burden the team with the stress of having to overcome the dark, suffocating shadow of an abhorred and frankly disdainful mascot is to complicate and already complex endeavor. You as Owners and we as Fans are responsible for providing this team with an environment most conducive to a winning franchise. It starts with the mascot. Hip Hop is, was, and will continue to be a drain on the 76ers and the Philadelphia community until his reign of terror is terminated once and for all. Passionate, Intense, Proud. Give us a mascot we can be proud of.
    PS May I suggest a red, white, and blue Converse Chuck Taylor All Star that has a face and appendages. I don’t care what you name him.
    PPS Maybe name him Chuck, Chuckie, Taylor, or All Star. I like All Star best.

  4. Perhaps I’m in the minority here, but I’m long over the Phillies and their quick exit from the postseason. I mean, what good can come from continuing to stew over their first round implosion? Short answer: none. That way lies madness, and I want to keep what little sanity (bled from me drop by drop by Philly sports teams over the decades) I have left.

  5. What kind of namby pamby sissies are you to not like the goal horn? Do the loud noises distract you from your technological shitboxes while you’re updating your Facebook status to “lol im at the flyrs game!!”?

  6. It’s not needed- the building is plenty loud. I’d rather hear the crowd than an insane fog horn.

  7. Myself and a bunch of other season ticket holders in our section, have started calling it the PennDot Power Play, until the start scoring.

  8. The peco power play is fantastic. It is a sponsorship that actually makes sense. I’ll call it that forever.

  9. Unfortunately, World War II was just around the corner. Both brothers joined the Nazi Party, but at some point during the War, they had a falling out. The facts are not abundantly clear, but the split between the two brothers may have had something to do with their different political viewpoints, or Rudolph’s belief that he was turned in to the Americans by his brother.
    The result was that after World War II the brothers split the business. Adi founded the company adidas (from Adi Dassler), and Rudolph took charge of a company he dubbed Ruda (from Rudolph Dassler). Ruda was later re-christened Puma, like the South American panther.

  10. i completely disagree with the goal horn being annoying…whats annoying is when im watching a game on tv and JJ talks over the goal horn and tries to time it so that he finishes the sentence when the horn stops. hearing that deafening BWAAAAAAAAH brings joy to my heart.

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