Ladies and gentlemen, Jonathan Papelbon:
Todd Zolecki: Why the $58 extra in your contract?
Ruben Amaro: – laughs smugly -
Paps: That’s a good question. You’re going to have to ask Cinco Ocho that question. I had nuttin’ to do with that. I can give you his phone number if you need it.
That sound you hear is Roy Halladay beating Papelbon with a leather whip.
Papelbon is, of course, speaking about his alter ego, Cinco Ocho, who apparently didn’t attend the press conference. Boston columnist John Tomase once described him thusly:
He makes the Dos Equis Most Interesting Man in the World look like a monk. He strikes equal fear in opponents and teammates. He combines the terror of Jaws with the mystery of Nessie. He is Cinco Ocho. And he is the Sphinx, the pyramids, a column on Easter Island — an enigma that is oft seen, but little understood.
Yeah, I hate myself a little already.
After the jump you will find a little insight (video) into the mind of a blogger, as I was recording my screen during the presser and began Tweeting the quote before Cinc Paps could finish saying it. Also, Dropkick Murphys. Because Paps loves the Dropkick Murphys.*
*He did say he would change his entrance music. Minor victory there.
And just for good measure, Professor Amaro:
Hop it for the video.
16 Responses
Oh please let it be Tessie!
Faggot
Cinco Ocho understands schtick coma
am the only guy in the deleware valley who likes this move?? been one of the best closers in baseball for several years he is still young and he seems out of his fucking mind….like madson did great things for us over the years but before this year was very shaky in the closers role….
I like the move too. I think he will be solid for at least the first 2 years of the deal. Hell, you paid Lidge an ass load of money and got basically 1 season (I know he helped them win a title)… but you paid like $39 million for one season. Not really worth it in my opinion… if you are strictly looking at it from a financial standpoint. I think we will love this guys as soon as people stop thinking Ryan Madson is Mariano Rivera.
Everyone hating on this move because they think Papelbon is a douche needs to wake up. I HOPE HE’S AN ARROGANT JERK. If you pay a guy all that money to be “the man”, he better not (for lack of a better term) be a bitch. You want him to strike fear into the opposing team.
I don’t like the move because of the deal. But we did get the best pitcher available and I think that this deal is better than a deal for Madson given how close they were reported to be.
By the way, a movie will be made about the tenure of Ruben Amaro Jr. some day. It will be called Smuggyball.
This homo better not fail
Sorry, no closer’s worth $50 million. If it was less, then I would have tolerated the move more.
Lidge give us one perfect season and one ring If Paps gives us the same thing I would be as happy as a pig in shit….I want to beef up the bench now Cuddyler would be nice
I already want to punch Paps in the face.
He should grow a beard.
Yeah, can we ship him up to boston already…
So… We don’t like papelbon getting 50 million but we would’ve been fine with madson for 44???
I love the fucking Dropkick Murphy’s, I hope Paps moves into the mansions across the street from me so we can drink Guinness and rock out to punk music together.
On a more realistic note. I’m just happy as a Phills fan that Amaro went and got the best relief pitcher on the market when he really didn’t have to. 50 M or 44 M? Does it really make a damn bit of difference if they still have the money to sign a SS and a LF? I think not.
It makes me happy when Scott Boras doesn’t get what he wants so I’m reserving judgement. This could work. Maybe Lidge’s last two years weren’t the best, but 2008 has a way of making the best memories shine through.