These Brendan Shanahan videos have replaced Bob Costas’ Sunday night halftime poems as my favorite awkward monologue. It’s like listening to the Canadian version of Green Eggs and Ham… only if it included complete sentences, spot shadows and steel-looking don’t fuck with us graphics zipping their way around screen.

In today’s installment of iShanahan, Brendan Shanahan’s cue cards tell us that former Flyer Ville Leino was suspended one game for elbowing Matt Read, or, as Brendan would like us to word that: I’m Kyle Scott, blogger of my basement. At 9:41 AM on Friday, December 9th I grabbed the embed code this video, which depicts NHL Disciplinarian Brendan Shanahan issuing a punishment to former Philadelphia Flyer Ville Leino and his dead-weight contract for his hit on current Philadelphia Flyer Matt Read. Based on the fact that Leino has not been previously suspended, and because he spent two seasons gobbling up sloppy seconds from the now assassinated Mike Richards and Jeff Carter, he was only given a one game suspension. To summary: I posted this video on the morning of December 9th, and because it was a slow day, dragged out the punchline to the point where it’s not funny anymore. Ville Leino has been suspended for one game. –  NHL shield – Thank you.

We'll look forward to the video ruling on Evgeni Malkin's attempt to fucking kill Claude Giroux, which can be seen after the jump.

Video via our friend Ryan Lawrence: