Jaromir Jagr’s Girlfriend Beat The Flyers in Poker

For Scott's sake, we doctored the picture of his ex-wife… she seemed like a real bitch

Where are the 24/7 cameras when you need them?!

In the midst of this painful – dare I say “embarrassing” – slump the Flyers are in, the team escaped to friendly confines of their mythical Dry Island (actually, Chickie’s and Pete’s…) on Monday for their annual poker night, which is organized by the mayor of DI, Peter Laviolette.

Reporters, obviously, weren’t given many details on the game, but we did learn that wives and girlfriends were encouraged to attend and the final pairing came down to Scott Hartnell and Jaromir Jagr’s girlfriend, who went unnamed. 

"Spending time with the guys away from the rink is always a good thing," said Danny Briere, who last scored Jan. 7, a goalless run of 11 games.

Monday night was fruitless, too; Briere bombed out early.

Poker expert Scott Hartnell made it to the final table, where, according to Briere, Jaromir Jagr's girlfriend won the tournament.

“It was a good time,” forward Max Talbot said. “Anytime you have a chance like that to do things out of the rink and get your head a little bit out of hockey, it’s refreshing. It was a chance to get in a couple laughs just playing cards.”

Excellent. An underground poker game, held at Chickie's and Pete's, coming down to a matchup between a Canadian and a girl from probably whatever exotic location Jagr gets his ladies from. I’m giddy.

 The local inkstons (papers…) lined up for the puns:

Courier Post

Daily News

So who won the game? Jagr’s chick (of course she did), who we’re now calling The Ringer. Somewhere, Woody Harrelson and his hook hand are proud of the innocent-looking girl’s heist. 

So, yes, the Flyers can’t even beat their own significant others in a game of chance and skill right now. Talk about a slump…

This seemed like a good chance to bust out the Photoshop from our friend (@dominicperilli), done last summer.