Yep, The Marlins’ Home Run Fountain is as Frightening as You Might Have Expected

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Marlins beat reporter Joe Capozzi was at the team's new home today to watch a jazzed up PR man describe with great wonderment the magical process of installing sod in a ballpark which exists solely because the team swindled taxpayers. As the little pitchman prattled on, Capozzi turned his iPhone toward center field, where the much-talked-about Marlins home run fountain will live. Previously, we had only seen it in animated .gif form… but now, we get to see it in the flesh.

Behold: 

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According to an artists’ rendering, the fountain will include dancing and spinning marlins flying above a neon light show that resembles the outside of a very cheap, perhaps illegal, Vegas marriage hall. I think it sort of looks like Kristin Davis' hideous vagina (NSFW!!!), but judging by some earlier comments, most of you disagree.

Video after the jump.

 

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20 Responses

  1. Don’t see it. But I hope the Marlins absolutely implode this year lead by a few Reyes tantrums. And that stadium will be empty by year 3.

  2. Hahahahah judging by me deleted post or the overhaul of the artickle, either:
    A) Ms. CB (real or imaginairy) hates me guts now (and everything else) with every fibre of her being, or,
    B) The American Pie/Universal Studios Machers got on your case for using copyrighted material.
    (or both)
    I still think your abuse of razzberry vodtka sorbays is impearing your persseption of reality hahahaha. You better slow down or you’re gonna be bain dramaged before you reach 30.

  3. BTW, I’d do that Krista Davis, whoever the hell she is. The only thing besides the bad trim job is that the photographer is as good as me spelling. I’ve seen worse cunts in the flesh (hahahaha). You’ve should have been around in the days before shaving down there became all the rage. Actually that was a double edged sword. On the one hand, the hair did hide some scary stuff, but on the other, after “parting the hairs”

    that made for some real shocking surprises—almost permanently tramatic.

  4. I’m sure someone who seems to live their life waiting to comment on every local sports blog post in a fictional persona has seen tons of internet vaginas.

  5. “Not 1$ of over run” I love perpetuating stereotypes, the guy laying the sod and landscaping was named Jose…typical. Jose cuts my lawn also, no way Jose!

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