Yep, The Marlins' Home Run Fountain is as Frightening as You Might Have Expected

Marlins beat reporter Joe Capozzi was at the team's new home today to watch a jazzed up PR man describe with great wonderment the magical process of installing sod in a ballpark which exists solely because the team swindled taxpayers. As the little pitchman prattled on, Capozzi turned his iPhone toward center field, where the much-talked-about Marlins home run fountain will live. Previously, we had only seen it in animated .gif form… but now, we get to see it in the flesh.

Behold: 

According to an artists’ rendering, the fountain will include dancing and spinning marlins flying above a neon light show that resembles the outside of a very cheap, perhaps illegal, Vegas marriage hall. I think it sort of looks like Kristin Davis' hideous vagina (NSFW!!!), but judging by some earlier comments, most of you disagree.

Video after the jump.