Screen Shot 2012-04-25 at 9.26.00 PM
Amateur hour here.

The Washington Nationals are offering fans who can't use their tickets the opportunity to hand them over to military members.

First, I’ll start with a compliment (for real): The Nats are going out of their way to give free tickets away to troops. That’s cool. No arm-twisting, just a hey, if you can’t use your tickets, let us know and we’ll give them to a solider. Cool.

But, of course, there’s a rub.

The Nationals don’t always do this. No, the policy isn’t always in place to hook up the folks who fight for our freedom. Nope. It’s in place May 4-6, for their Take Back The Park handy jam, because COO Andrew Feffer can’t have his stadium overrun with Phils fans during, like, his biggest weekend ever.

Here’s the email sent out this morning by Mr. Ffffer, forwarded along to me by readers Stephen and Jason:

Dear Season Ticket Holder:

What a start to the season! Our team is playing exciting baseball with unbelievable pitching performances and amazing late inning comebacks. The energy at Nationals Park is inspiring the team like never before and we want to make sure you are part of it. Help us raise the energy level even higher the first weekend in May as we take back “Our Park.”

If you are unable to make it to the ballpark for this critical series, we would like to offer you the opportunity to donate your tickets to members of our Armed Services. Simply transfer your tickets from your My Nationals Tickets account to [email protected] or call 202.675.6287 (option 1) to speak with a Nationals ticket representative and we will ensure your tickets go to a local military member. In addition, we will add 200 points to your Red Carpet Rewards account to thank you for your generous donation. Our military and their loved ones are an integral part of our Nationals family and we are dedicated to honoring their service by providing opportunities for them to enjoy a game at Nationals Park.

It’s our town, our team, our park and now it’s our time. See you at the ballpark May 4 – 6. With Natitude,

With Natitude,

Andrew Feffer


Washington Nationals


With Natitude. Are we even supposed to capitalize that?

What the hell, bro. Do you really expect people to take your franchise seriously when you send emails like that? 

Make no mistake, this isn’t a coincidentally-timed military outreach thing. That comes two nights earlier, on May 2, when the Nats are holding Military Appreciation Night. That’s the night armed services members get free tickets. The arrangement detailed in this email has a much different angle.

Feffer’s little we need butts in seats so let’s hide behind this tickets-for-troops thing because no one will have the balls to criticize us for something like that thing is so transparent. And it’s also telling. Yesterday, the Nats ran an ad offering up to eight free tickets for a future game if you buy a minimum of two tickets to any of the Phillies games in May. Now comes the plea for fans not to waste their unused tickets for the series. The cause has a desirable effect, but the motive is beyond transparent: it’s clear that our friends from the nation’s capital are having a bit of trouble taking back their park. So they called in the troops.