Bryce Harper Would Like You to Not Throw Batteries at Him

I have a better idea: How about Cole Hamels throws batteries at him?

The Washington Nationals and douchebag Bryce Harper come to town tonight, and of course that means Hamels’ intentional beanball will be discussed until we’re blue in the face and Brycecakes grows hair on his balls.

When asked about coming to Philly, the 19-year-old phenom, who needed 10 stitches after accidentally hitting himself in the face with a bat last week, dug deep for one of the nation’s favorite Philly fan moments. Here’s what Harper told reporters after the Nationals’ 9-3 win over the Orioles yesterday:

"Hopefully I get a couple boos," he said. "I'm excited to get up there and play. Hopefully they don't throw any batteries at me."

Alright, douche. 

Hamels, too, was asked about the upcoming series and, specifically, the incident from two weeks ago. Speaking about it for the first time since the night he hit Harper, here’s what Hamels told USA Today:

"Yeah, I accidentally stirred the pot," Hamels told USA TODAY Sports. "It was unintentional. But that's just the way it happens sometimes. It wasn't like they weren't going to try to beat me anyways."

"It was more of a thing where I wanted to see what the kid was made of," Hamels said. "Then it was like, 'OK, he showed me.' He showed me more than I could ever possibly have known. Obviously it kind of backfired in what I was intending." 

I have no idea what that means. 

But it didn't backfire. The Phillies still won the game (despite Harper stealing home) and, as we noted here, the incident kind of turned Hamels into a star, which isn’t a bad thing going into a free agency period that will surely pay him well over nine figures. 

Hamels will face the Nationals on Wednesday, when he goes up against Edwin Jackson.

Video of Harper’s comments after the jump.