Bryce Harper Would Like You to Not Throw Batteries at Him

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I have a better idea: How about Cole Hamels throws batteries at him?

The Washington Nationals and douchebag Bryce Harper come to town tonight, and of course that means Hamels’ intentional beanball will be discussed until we’re blue in the face and Brycecakes grows hair on his balls.

When asked about coming to Philly, the 19-year-old phenom, who needed 10 stitches after accidentally hitting himself in the face with a bat last week, dug deep for one of the nation’s favorite Philly fan moments. Here’s what Harper told reporters after the Nationals’ 9-3 win over the Orioles yesterday:

"Hopefully I get a couple boos," he said. "I'm excited to get up there and play. Hopefully they don't throw any batteries at me."


Alright, douche. 

Hamels, too, was asked about the upcoming series and, specifically, the incident from two weeks ago. Speaking about it for the first time since the night he hit Harper, here’s what Hamels told USA Today:

"Yeah, I accidentally stirred the pot," Hamels told USA TODAY Sports. "It was unintentional. But that's just the way it happens sometimes. It wasn't like they weren't going to try to beat me anyways."

"It was more of a thing where I wanted to see what the kid was made of," Hamels said. "Then it was like, 'OK, he showed me.' He showed me more than I could ever possibly have known. Obviously it kind of backfired in what I was intending." 


I have no idea what that means. 

But it didn't backfire. The Phillies still won the game (despite Harper stealing home) and, as we noted here, the incident kind of turned Hamels into a star, which isn’t a bad thing going into a free agency period that will surely pay him well over nine figures. 

Hamels will face the Nationals on Wednesday, when he goes up against Edwin Jackson.

Video of Harper’s comments after the jump.

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  • bigmyc May 21, 2012 at 10:38 am

    Here we go again with this masturbatory-like need to manufacture villans in our sports culture. This, of course, refers to all cities but we in Philadelphia are no slouch….and naturally lead by our media outlets and BLOGGERS alike. I get it, you need attention. If you can sensationalize, all the better. But this guy has done nothing to warrant the ire that you are trying to create. He is 19 years old, has handled the Cole Hamels thing beautifully and even is aware enough to make humorous quips in sound bytes.
    Quit taking yourselves so seriously and lighten up…or grow or the other. If anyone has a serious problem with Harper so far then they need a check up from the neck up. Let him become the enemy on his own time, not because we couldn’t wait for him to get there.

  • Rollie Fingers Wing Man May 21, 2012 at 10:56 am

    I would agree with bigmyc if only Harper had left it at, “I’m excited to get up there and play”.

  • blow me May 21, 2012 at 11:07 am

    Kyle you are such a fucking loser

  • Kyle's Girlfriend's Vibrator May 21, 2012 at 11:13 am

    I’m donating my D-cell batteries to the Peg-Harper-in-the-Dome cause.

  • PhillyFan May 21, 2012 at 11:21 am

    I think Harper is handling this well. Also, he’s not Nyger Morgan – a guy who deserves batteries being thrown at him!

  • You heard it here May 21, 2012 at 11:21 am

    CB: You’ve been promoting hatred of this guy for more than a year. If some idiot does something really, really stupid this week – you should take a hard look at what you do for a living.

  • Kathy Romano's tits May 21, 2012 at 11:26 am

    I think someone is really jealous of Bryce Harper.

  • JT May 21, 2012 at 11:27 am

    wtf, why is the comment section of Pat the Bat weekend closed off? That’s weak Kyle

  • OneManWolfpack May 21, 2012 at 12:02 pm

    The eye black he wears is obnoxious and stupid.

  • mac May 21, 2012 at 12:07 pm

    I saw the clip of him saying he hopes he doesn’t get batteries thrown at him. he wasn’t being a dick. But I guess it makes for a better blog post if you say he was.

  • Ilya Bryzgalov's five hole May 21, 2012 at 12:10 pm

    You people care too much. Why you heff to be med?

  • Sil Campusano May 21, 2012 at 12:11 pm

    I predict that some jackass will do somthing stupid, Philadelphia fans will be appropriately criticized, and then this site and others will fill up with complaints about how we are treated unfairly by the national media. Think for yourselves, people.

  • Nick May 21, 2012 at 12:14 pm

    Kyle has absolutely nothing to post other than the usual copy paste regurgitate.
    Flyers are out. Sixers hopefully have a run in them. Phils are a mediocre team at best. Football is 4 months away. You’ll be joining me on the unemployment line soon professional blogger

  • RangersYankeesNYGiantsFan May 21, 2012 at 12:43 pm

    If something is thrown at the 19yr old kid(Bryce Harper),then i wouldn’t be shocked because Philadelphia fans are the same fan base that throws up on little girls,kills people outside of their stadium,then get upset when the national media rips into you people for being the jerks and goons,that we know you are.

  • New York gutter class. May 21, 2012 at 12:59 pm

    @the New York bum. Like spitting on players wives? So classy.

  • Dave G. May 21, 2012 at 1:08 pm

    I hope someone throws a car battery at his puppy.

  • Hugh G May 21, 2012 at 1:33 pm


  • You are all idiots May 21, 2012 at 1:45 pm


  • Rollie Fingers Wing Man May 21, 2012 at 2:14 pm

    @ NY BUM – keep your head in the sand you ignorant ass:

  • New York gutter class. May 21, 2012 at 3:27 pm

    They beat up girls in New York. lol

  • Philsssss May 21, 2012 at 7:38 pm

    Why all the hate for Harper? Did I miss something he said/did so far in his career?

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