Chad Qualls Designated for Assignment

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I’ll be honest. As a fan, I’m elated that no-good, chubby, sad-looking Grimace creature has been designated for assignment.

As a blogger, I’m disappointed that I’ll no longer be able to use that moniker to describe Qualls. 

Usually, my goals and desires as a fan align exactly with my goals and desires as someone who makes a living off a blog– teams win: I’m happy, site does well. But I’d be lying if I said that I wasn’t just a bit sadstons that I won’t be able to continue with the Grimace theme we introduced in this morning’s Wood. Still, though, it will be nice to not see that loser on the mound anymore.

Ruben Amaro’s offseason moves continue to prove to be subpar. He signed Qualls to a one-year, $1.15 million deal. Qualls had two no-better-than-average seasons in 2010 and 2011, the latter of which he played on the moon known as Petco Park, which is very much a pitcher’s paradise.

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Now Qualls is likely done and the Phillies have filled his void with… Jeremy Horst. WHO?! No idea (the guy we got for Wilson Valdez). Don’t care. But Qualls is gone, so we’ll rejoice. 

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  • SeanDon June 28, 2012 at 12:17 pm

    I won’t miss him.

  • Mike June 28, 2012 at 12:19 pm

    I feel like pulling a Tug Mcgraw off of my couch when I heard about this

  • Matt June 28, 2012 at 12:19 pm

    Jeremey Horst is Ruben’s chance at redeming himself for trading Wilson Valdez. Horst is who we got in return…

  • sam June 28, 2012 at 12:20 pm

    Horst is the piece we got back in the Wilson Valdez trade

  • fresh June 28, 2012 at 12:28 pm

    Yes, Ruben’s offseason moves continue to look subpar because he sucks as a GM. But let’s keep praising him for making moves any GM could have made like signing Lee and trading for Halladay. In the meanwhile let’s forget the team sucks because of everything else he’s done.

  • sean June 28, 2012 at 12:29 pm

    ever game he pitched was a baezkill

  • fresh June 28, 2012 at 12:30 pm

    Yes, people, we’re really missing Wilson Valdez and his .520 OPS
    Christ, I swear some of you don’t even watch baseball.

  • Charlie M June 28, 2012 at 12:30 pm

    10 million over a shitty career. Reminds me of Kendrick, flashes competence just enough to get a job.

  • Aaron June 28, 2012 at 12:31 pm

    So should we grab the two relievers from COL (Betencourt and the other dude?)

  • The most interesting Phillies fan on my street. June 28, 2012 at 12:46 pm

    Kyle, You never stopped writing about Carts and Richards, who says you must stop blogging about Qualls? here is your chance to mock whomever is dumb enough to waste a roster spot on this BP pitching machine.

  • Bastardo's Giant Quads June 28, 2012 at 1:21 pm


  • Aaron June 28, 2012 at 1:26 pm

    I am pleasantly surprised how quickly they moved to DFA Qualls, they didnt just keep trying with him all season hoping he would magically become a stable reliever…..I am impressed with the Phils!!!
    Lets go ROOKIES from Lehigh, go up and dominate!

  • Pat June 28, 2012 at 1:36 pm

  • DD June 28, 2012 at 1:39 pm

    Thank god…way to long in coming!

  • JD June 28, 2012 at 1:44 pm

    Hopefully Kendrick will be next…

  • FACE June 28, 2012 at 1:50 pm

    I wouldn’t give a fuck if Larry Anderson came down out of the booth or Ricky Botalico wandered down out of the studio…fuck you could even throw ME out there…anything is better then Chad fucking Qualls!

  • 3 Finger Lenny June 28, 2012 at 2:47 pm

    bout time

  • 2 Toes Joe June 28, 2012 at 3:49 pm

    Lenny and his 3 fingers will do better than Qualls.

  • ThePhillyFlash June 28, 2012 at 4:42 pm

    Good riddance to bad rubbish. Quails was a disaster from jump street. I’ll miss him about as much as a dose of the clap.

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