Flyers

Puck Sluts Unite! 2014 NHL Entry Draft in Philadelphia, Jeff Carter in Sea Isle Now

By Kyle Scott

Published: Jun 22nd, 2012 · 4:28 PM EDT

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In what is – by far – the most unexciting offseason hockey news you will hear– Philadelphia will host the 2014 NHL Entry Draft. 

This event is like the puck slut bat signal. Young, soon-to-be-rich Canadians and Europeans congregating in one city, at the same time, surrounded by hundreds of eager and willing coeds ready to do unspeakable things all in the name of bagging a future NHL star. And maybe, just maybe, some of them will meet their future gravy train… or get a wad of spermicites on their chesticals.

 Think I’m joking? Check out the Twitter feed of our favorite partially cloaked Penguins fan, who is prowling her hometown during this weekend’s festivities in the shit city:

Just talked to a guy from the Sabres as well

— Taylor Marie(@Princesss_Sass) June 22, 2012

HELP! Which dress should I wear???? twitter.com/Princesss_Sass…

— Taylor Marie(@Princesss_Sass) June 22, 2012

Here's a piece of what I'm wearing tomorrow 🙂 twitter.com/Princesss_Sass…

— Taylor Marie(@Princesss_Sass) June 21, 2012

Yeah, it’s like that. Good news for everyone else when 2014 rolls around: leftovers.

Meanwhile, the bunnies will have to make do with Stanley Cup champion Jeff Carter, WHO IS BACK IN SEA ISLE (WHERE IS THE CUP, JEFF?!).

You know what to do. Your camera phones, use them.