Puck Sluts Unite! 2014 NHL Entry Draft in Philadelphia, Jeff Carter in Sea Isle Now

In what is – by far – the most unexciting offseason hockey news you will hear– Philadelphia will host the 2014 NHL Entry Draft

This event is like the puck slut bat signal. Young, soon-to-be-rich Canadians and Europeans congregating in one city, at the same time, surrounded by hundreds of eager and willing coeds ready to do unspeakable things all in the name of bagging a future NHL star. And maybe, just maybe, some of them will meet their future gravy train… or get a wad of spermicites on their chesticals.

 Think I’m joking? Check out the Twitter feed of our favorite partially cloaked Penguins fan, who is prowling her hometown during this weekend’s festivities in the shit city:

Yeah, it’s like that. Good news for everyone else when 2014 rolls around: leftovers.

Meanwhile, the bunnies will have to make do with Stanley Cup champion Jeff Carter, WHO IS BACK IN SEA ISLE (WHERE IS THE CUP, JEFF?!).

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You know what to do. Your camera phones, use them.


11 Responses

  1. are the beaches in southern california not good enough? why is he coming back?

  2. I wonder if Carts fingered her with his dick?!?! SMH

  3. THIS JUST IN!!!
    The 2014 NHL “Entry” Draft will be held at the WF Center.
    I will be practicing my Canadian accent now so that I can lay a sticky batch all over some unsuspecting puck slut.

  4. I can only imagine all the pussy carts will be eating in sic this weekend

  5. Not only do chicks not know who Carts is in LA, chicks in LA don’t know who the kings are or that hockey is a sport.
    Stanley cup? Is that a new miracle bra?? Or an athletic supporter???

  6. Carts came back to sic to feed his sex addiction. Guess not many broads know who he is on manhattan beach or Malibu

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