Ryan Howard with Charlie Sheen, Bryce Harper GIF, CHMM

The Phillies will have home field advantage in the World Series! (!!!) 

Who’s with me?!

 - looks around… ah, you– the crickets in the back, welcome –

Anyway, the Phils performed well in last night’s All-Star Game. Carlos Ruiz adorably wore an oversized catcher’s mitt, Cole Hamels put up a scoreless inning, and Jonathan Papelbon closed the game. Unfortunately for us, FOX decided to interview Derek Jeter during Chooch’s at-bat and R.A. Dickey for a few moments while Hamels pitched. My dad, who came by to watch the game, almost needed a personal timeout as all his childhood feelings of New York upstaging Philly came roaring back, rolled together with Erin Andrews' fame-hunger and Ken Rosenthal’s bow-tie. THIS is why I hate New York. Another fucking New Yorker. Show Chooch. He deserves it more, but no, they’re going to interview Derek Jeter because he sneezed. It's always the goddamn Yankees.

Yeah, my dad didn't take the 2009 World Series loss too well.

Here’s your mini roundup:

– Douchebag Bryce Harper and his brightly colored shoes had trouble locating this routine fly ball. Here’s a .GIF, for your enjoyment over and over and over and… ahhhh, that’s nice. I need a sandwich. 

– Ryan Howard tweeted a picture with Charlie Sheen. The photo tells the story, but I wonder if Howard remembers the time Sheen went on the Alex Jones Show and said this about the final at-bat of the 2010 NLCS:

“It's un-hittable, it's un-hittable. [Brian Wilson] made Ryan Howard, I'm sorry Ryan you're the best left-handed hitter in 50 years, but he made him look like an armless child when he backdoor slidered his ass into the World Series.”

Looks like Piece has two arms here. One leg. But two arms.

– Some asked last night what effect Hamels’ exhibition performance would have on the CHMM. +3 million for solid performance on a national stage.

Cole Hamels Millions Meter: $146 million