Ryan Howard with Charlie Sheen, Bryce Harper GIF, CHMM

The Phillies will have home field advantage in the World Series! (!!!) 

Who’s with me?!

 - looks around… ah, you– the crickets in the back, welcome –

Anyway, the Phils performed well in last night’s All-Star Game. Carlos Ruiz adorably wore an oversized catcher’s mitt, Cole Hamels put up a scoreless inning, and Jonathan Papelbon closed the game. Unfortunately for us, FOX decided to interview Derek Jeter during Chooch’s at-bat and R.A. Dickey for a few moments while Hamels pitched. My dad, who came by to watch the game, almost needed a personal timeout as all his childhood feelings of New York upstaging Philly came roaring back, rolled together with Erin Andrews' fame-hunger and Ken Rosenthal’s bow-tie. THIS is why I hate New York. Another fucking New Yorker. Show Chooch. He deserves it more, but no, they’re going to interview Derek Jeter because he sneezed. It's always the goddamn Yankees.

Yeah, my dad didn't take the 2009 World Series loss too well.

Here’s your mini roundup:

– Douchebag Bryce Harper and his brightly colored shoes had trouble locating this routine fly ball. Here’s a .GIF, for your enjoyment over and over and over andahhhh, that’s nice. I need a sandwich. 


– Ryan Howard tweeted a picture with Charlie Sheen. The photo tells the story, but I wonder if Howard remembers the time Sheen went on the Alex Jones Show and said this about the final at-bat of the 2010 NLCS:

“It's un-hittable, it's un-hittable. [Brian Wilson] made Ryan Howard, I'm sorry Ryan you're the best left-handed hitter in 50 years, but he made him look like an armless child when he backdoor slidered his ass into the World Series.”


Looks like Piece has two arms here. One leg. But two arms.

Screen Shot 2012-07-11 at 9.19.05 AM

– Some asked last night what effect Hamels’ exhibition performance would have on the CHMM. +3 million for solid performance on a national stage.

Cole Hamels Millions Meter: $146 million


19 Responses

  1. Dude get over bryce harper. u sound like a whiny lil bitch who got dumped by him. hes a good player. get the fuck over it dude. its annoying.

  2. “Looks like Piece has two arms here. One leg. But two arms.”….
    Don’t most ballplayers have 2 arms??

  3. Jim Bunning only had one arm but he could still throw better than 90% of our staff

  4. just had a breakfast biscuit with my sources…. ryan howard was seen plowing her last night..just speculation but i’m hearing sheen also got in on the action….more to come

  5. Last night I was hoping to see Bryce Harper strike out, but seeing him get caught in a run down then dropping an easy pop fly was so much more satisfying. Listen… playing major league baseball for 4 months with a .280 average does not make a player an all star. The only reason Bryce Harper was invited was so Fox’s crappy broadcasting could play the rookie vs. rookie story with Harper vs. Trout.
    Oh, and BTW.. Fox… get a new song for baseball broadcasts. Every damned time a commercial break ended I thought I was watching a football game. That’s it for me… it’s noon… I’m getting a beer.

  6. I’m actually pretty impressed Kyle wasn’t whining about Howard posing for pictures and smiling while the Phillies are in last place

  7. Anybody else think that Howards lady friend looks different in every picture??

  8. @Crossing Hartranft
    And he had the nerve to be enjoying himself a whole 3 days before his next game. The audacity of these players.

  9. I gotta give CB credit, they beat the Washington post to the riveting news on Harper’s Mercedes.

  10. Did anyone else see Josh Hamilton mouth the word pussy to the centerfielder after harper tagged on the fly and went to 2nd? After the play, Fox panned in on Hamilton who was talking to the cf and he clearly dropped the p bomb. Nobody was impressed by that tag play by harper when the NL was up 5 runs. He is a TURBO douche.

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