Grab Bag: Cameras May Have Caught a Pair of Painted Breasted at Marlins Park on Monday Night and Greg Dobbs Stole Chase Utley’s Glove Last Night

Screen Shot 2012-08-15 at 10.29.17 AM

Second base at Marlins Park has become a bit of an attraction the past two nights. No, it’s not because it’s been stepped on by baserunners for the first time since May. Rather, we’ve been treated to a couple of odd scenes.

First up, Juan Pierre and the topless go-go dancer.

When Leon made a bit of a baserunning gaff on Monday night, which left him stranded on second when he should have been at third, cameras focused in on our favorite throwback slap-hitter while Chris Wheeler pontificated about something. I’ve long said that the only thing that could kill a raging boner* is the sound of Wheels’ voice and, unfortunately, we were given the chance to test that theory during this sequence.

Reader Michaeldabeast5273, noticed what appeared to be a pair of breasts just over Leon's shoulder:

Upon further inspection, those do, in fact, appear to be a pair of breasts. But they’re likely painted. That’s the Marlins’ Clevelander Bar, which, for the low low price of $100, affords hardcore baseball fans the opportunity to watch the game from field level while staring at painted titties. It’s… well… genius. Like, no way the Phillies’ half-cocked sellout streak ends at 257 games if there was a set of jumbo Ds just off Domonic Brown’s camera-facing right shoulder. No chance. Even Dan Baker could have had some fun with it, inserting awkward inflections into an announcement usually reserved for the 1 a.m. time slot at a Delaware Ave. strip club: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the right field area, Tatyana’s mammaries! 

Anyway, the Marlins have bodypainted slores dancing the night away, and we’re pretty sure CSN cameras caught some of the action.

*No reasonable person would get a boner from this, but it's the closest we've come to testing that theory.

And last night, after Greg Dobbs flied out to left field using one of his vintage majestic swings that finishes with him looking like a rhythmic gymnast, the former Phillie decided to swipe Chase Utley’s glove as he rounded second while taken his worn route to the dugout:

Hey, that’s not very nice.

H/T to reader Steve

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16 Comments

  • FACE August 15, 2012 at 10:45 am

    haha Dobbs is the man, that was actually pretty funny.

    Reply
  • Larry Andersen August 15, 2012 at 10:48 am

    I’ve watched this 10 times and I still don’t see it. Now I know how Elaine felt with the Magic Eye.

    Reply
  • Crosby's Vagina August 15, 2012 at 10:56 am

    His name is actually JB Smoove, not Smooth.

    Reply
  • cjbotts@gmail.com August 15, 2012 at 11:01 am

    @L.A. – it’s super shady and barely visible, plus it looks more like a bikini than body paint. Must be a super slow sports news day here in philly for this non-story to even get attention.

    Reply
  • Who cares? August 15, 2012 at 11:01 am

    Prob the same girls that opened the park with the paint all over their bodies…
    who cares?

    Reply
  • Chris Davish August 15, 2012 at 11:07 am

    I don’t see no boobs. Lucky Shane isn’t still playing for the phils, can only imagine that creep on the basses with some tit showing

    Reply
  • Richie August 15, 2012 at 11:12 am

    this site has gone down hill. I will only be viewing ten tiems a day instead of my usual 20

    Reply
  • Kyle Scott August 15, 2012 at 11:12 am

    Who cares: “That’s the Marlins’ Clevelander Bar, which, for the low low price of $100, affords hardcore baseball fans the opportunity to watch the game from field level while staring at painted titties.”

    Reply
  • Ron Hipple August 15, 2012 at 11:16 am

    I love sucking on tits

    Reply
  • Shiva H. Vishnu August 15, 2012 at 11:16 am

    And this is more like the reporting I’ve come to expect.

    Reply
  • McLovin August 15, 2012 at 11:23 am

    I’ve got a boner!

    Reply
  • Kevin August 15, 2012 at 12:25 pm

    I live in Tampa and get to watch the Phils and Marlins game. Fox Sports Florida always shows live look ins inthe Clevelander. The dancers are in normal bikinis with MARLINS painted across their chests and on the bikini. Nothing special.

    Reply
  • Franky Frank August 15, 2012 at 1:19 pm

    Fail.

    Reply
  • nightscape94 August 15, 2012 at 1:20 pm

    When the hell do I get to see the God damn sailboat?!

    Reply
  • MM August 15, 2012 at 1:43 pm

    let’s set the record straight. juan Pierre’s nickname is “Lawn Jockey”

    Reply
  • Mark August 15, 2012 at 3:56 pm

    regardless of what she’s actually wearing…
    how the heck did someone notice it?
    Unless that really is a painted babe, who went looking for themselves?

    Reply
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