Morning Wood: Can Still Get It Up Sometimes

Screen Shot 2012-08-01 at 9.26.09 AMThe Flyin' Hawaiian

Of course they did.

That can only be described as an Of Course They Did Game: Any game in which a team, seemingly down and out, perhaps with all of its police buried under the city and a ticking time bomb in its midst, rises up from near certain death to whoop the division leaders. They don’t necessarily do it with skill, rather, it’s fear that propels them.

The Phillies beat the Washington Nationals last night, 8-0. Jimmy Rollins added an inside-the-park home run:

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It’s all going to be too-little, too-late from here on out. Which is a sad, because there are still plenty of winners on this team. Around 3 p.m. yesterday, after Shane Victorino and Hunter Pence had presumably left the clubhouse, I had an image in my head of Chase Utley, head down at his locker, ripping apart a glove, seam by seam. 

Email from reader Danny:

This is pretty much what you expected tonight, no?

Miss the wild card by 3.5 games 

 

I’m not sure of the three and a half games, but, yeah, I expected an effort last night. And of course Cliff Lee finally found his stream, pissing seven innings of lightly-browned excellence, striking out seven and walking one. Of course he did.

Truth is, I’m exhausted from yesterday and last night’s FIFA 12 tournament, so here’s a bunch of nonsense, aggregated:

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Congrats to Chuck for winning the 24-person tournament:

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Thanks to our friends from Play 'N Trade in Lansdale for hooking us up with systems. They have an awesome selection of used games. Try out any game before you buy it. Check them out here.

From (@NickfrDoylstown):

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This one via (@mooseyfbaby28):

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MLB.com wants to punch you in the dick:

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Reader Dave sends the winner:

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As touching as those first Victo Tweets were is how annoying this last one is. Get used to these, because if you thought Victo’s Twitter was bad when he was a Phillie, just wait until he starts tweeting about all things Left Coast. Somewhere, Mike Richards is showing him how it’s done.

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Can we get odds on Victorino banging Rihanna, to the evil pleasure of Matt Kemp?

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12 Responses

  1. “Jay Grace” and the morality cops can check with us, we’ll keep you updated on the latest girl gossip about Vic’s sex life.

  2. COME ON KYLE! I’m sad too, but no mention of the awesomely embarrassing Bryce Harper wipeout? If you can’t take some glee in that just end it now.

  3. The pic with the Pence and Victorino jersey thing is definitely the winner. That shit made me laugh for 10 minutes.

  4. I’m going to take a guess as to what happened with Jay Grace causing his subsequent cheap shots at Shane. Jay Grace was probably out one night at a bar and spent the majority of the night macking on some girl that he never had a chance with anyway. That’s because she wasn’t the least bit impressed with him, his blowout haircut, or the novelty t-shirt he was wearing, which probably made some weakass comical reference to his unit. Ahh Jay, if it were only 2006, that t-shirt might have worked for ya buddy. Anyway, moving forward in the story, in walks Victorino and the girl is immediately attracted to him. Consequently, Jay is baffled because he thought knowing how to do the cupid shuffle and his offer to buy her a bottle of bud platinum earned him an away game at her place. In ending, a disheartened Jay goes home alone as usual in which spends the rest of his night in his parents’ basement doing two things; a quick cam session that costs him a $1.99 per minute and then he logs on to philly.com and crossingbroad and enlighten us with his idiotic rants that are motivated by his own pitiful shortcomings in life!

  5. I guess Shane can’t cheat on his wife with the bartenters at PJ in Nj anymore. Baseball players in La r below sitcom stars on the pussy list

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