Your Monday Morning Roundup: Two Sides Edition

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The White Knight had a coin. One side said you lived… the other said you didn’t deserve to beat the Ravens and the Phillies just pissed down their collective leg.

There was a lot of good yesterday… and a lot of bad.


The Eagles somehow fought off 78 turnovers, head-scratching decisions, and King Dunlap (and his mates) to beat the Ravens at home on another fourth quarter comeback. It wasn’t pretty, but the Eagles come out of the first two weeks with a 2-0 record.  


The Eagles had 78 turnovers, continued to make head-scratching decisions, and King Dunlap (and his mates). 

Injuries to Jason Kelce, Jeremy Maclin, and Dunlap.

Replacement officials.

The Phillies, who dropped three of four to Houston (I told you to be worried about that series) and, with a Cardinals win, are now four games out of the #FifthandFinal Wild Card spot.

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Let's hit it.


But first, a word from our sponsors:

– Get $1 hot dogs and $8 Bud Light pitchers during every Eagles game at Drinker's Philly locations.

– Yesterday, for once, it was often Shady in Philadelphia. Get the t-shirt from Philly Phaithful. $5 goes to the American Cancer Society. Boom, supporting the run game and hating cancer. Must do.

– Sports Vault locations are the exclusive provider of Brian Dawkins memorabilia. Get it all here.


The roundup:

– Michael Vick's game-winning touchdown, from section 136. 

via reader Andrew

– Jason Kelce may be done for the season with a torn ACL:

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– Marcus Hayes continues to write ridiculous sonets in the form of melodramatic one-sentence paragraph laden nonsense. This one, about a backup offensive lineman:

Reynolds replaced Kelce with 11 minutes, 19 seconds to play in the third quarter. The Eagles trailed the Ravens and their mythically potent defense by 10 points. When Kelce's right knee buckled, they lost their best lineman; certainly, their most valuable.

Two plays after Kelce left, perhaps for the season, the Eagles scored a touchdown.

They then drove 60 yards on 11 plays to tie it.

They went 80 yards on 10 plays in the fourth quarter to win it.

What could have been a disaster turned into "a real good story," said head coach Andy Reid.

The Eagles have their Eliza Doolittle.

Or, perhaps more accurately, their Larry Moore.

Like Reynolds, Moore was an undrafted interior lineman out of Brigham Young University. Against all odds, Moore played in eight NFL seasons.

Know who else was a lineman at BYU?

Andy Reid.

So, yes, Big Red has a soft spot for 28-year-old first-year player Dallas Reynolds.


You should be offended. 

– Astros manager Tony DeFrancesco did not have very kind things to say about Ryan Howard. Somewhere, SABR nerds are stroking themselves to what you are about to read: []

"Howard, for me, was struggling the first couple days and wasn't even getting a good swing," DeFrancesco said, "and if I was going to have somebody beat me, it was going to be Howard."  


– This couple had sex in a Yankee Stadium stall. Caution: NSFW, male ass, and chubby legs. [Deadspin]

– The NFL removed a replacement official from the Saints game yesterday… because he’s a big-time Saints fan: [ESPN]

The NFL was unaware of Stropolo's open allegiance as a Saints fan until ESPN contacted the league Sunday morning.

Stropolo, who is from New Orleans area and lists himself on Facebook as an NFL side judge, posted pictures of himself in Saints gear tailgating at an Aug. 25 preseason game. Stropolo did not work the game against the Texans, but he was assigned to Sunday's game in Carolina. There were several photos of Stropolo in Saints gear on his Facebook page.


– Michael Vick broke down on the CBS pre-game show when asked about the pressure facing the Eagles. [CBS]

– DeSean Jackson weighed in post-game, on Twitter:

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– Brent Celek was likely doing the first down signal in his dreams last night. Celek also hurdled Ed Reed.


via (@dhm)

– Finally, here's video of Joe Flacco whining about the – admittedly horrible – replacement officials.

"He didn’t even throw a flag. He threw a blue beanie."



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  • kyle scott's spacebar September 17, 2012 at 9:19 am

    flacco is anoying also bret celek is a beast!

  • kyle scott's spacebar September 17, 2012 at 9:19 am


  • k. September 17, 2012 at 9:27 am

    Calling out Marcus Hayes’s journalistic endeavors by misspelling sonnets is… Quite funny. In a very sad sort of way.

  • Chance- VP September 17, 2012 at 9:32 am

    Bring back that fat fucking pig Jamal Jackson

  • greg schiano's balls September 17, 2012 at 9:34 am

    Celek is a fucking boss

  • mk12679 September 17, 2012 at 9:35 am

    Well… That pic at the top and the goofiest looking male ass I’ve ever seen (at least in that first pic where you can see it) have certainly started my Monday off wonderfully. :/

  • Beez Nutz September 17, 2012 at 9:48 am

    mychael kendricks is the best defensive pick this shit ass front office has made in a long time
    as always, please dont get your confidence up, Vick still blows.

  • Roose (TTB) September 17, 2012 at 10:33 am

    How is it the fifth and final wild card spot? There’s only two, Kyle…

  • Snow Balls at Santa September 17, 2012 at 10:45 am

    Hes not good, but why do you hate King Dunlap so much?

  • uncle meat September 17, 2012 at 11:20 am

    “I’m da type to Always put on 4 my city”???? So, DeSean, tell me, when was the last time you were spotted wearing ANYTHING Philly sports related outside of a game?

  • matt September 17, 2012 at 11:29 am

    We could so easily be 0-2 right now, and I wish we were. Each half-ass win prolongs the Reid era. We’ve won 3 playoff games in the last 7 seasons now, with 2 of those wins coming in the same year. Get Reid the fuck out of here already.

  • paddymac September 17, 2012 at 1:13 pm

    Stay classy New York.

  • Deryk September 17, 2012 at 2:21 pm

    It’s the fifth and final PLAYOFF spot!

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