Bird Droppings: Well, This is Awkward

Kyle Scott - December 14, 2012

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Weird. I feel like I’ve seen that headline about the Eagles before. Can’t remember where. Sounds familiar, though.

Anyway, we’ll look for Morning Wood and Your Morning Carts to come to a Daily News near you soon. For now, here are some brief pieces of shit from the Eagles’ 10th loss of the season. 

– I fell asleep at some point early in the second half with the score still 13-10. I woke up near the end of the fourth quarter to see that it was 34-13 (!!!). Gah. Oddly, I wasn’t even surprised. It was like, “Oh, right, of course they were outscored 24-nothing during my 60-minute nap.” So, I have nothing to say about that. It just is. And to be honest, I don’t really care. I suspect you don’t either.

– Brandon Graham finally got in someone’s head:

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 - I’m not quite sure why all the local media outlets have dozens of stories from the Eagles game. Who’s reading them? I know it’s the football team and you have to cover all sides, but really, is anyone consuming prose about a painful loss for Clay Harbor, Brandon Graham finding his stride, why it is hard to gauge Foles’ progress, or the Eagles-Bengels report card (THEY ALL GET A BIG, FAT FUCKING "F" HOW'S THAT?)? Like, do any of you care about those things? Or are you like me, and would rather see Koy Detmer’s Xbox Live gamertag, courtesy of reader Tom, who found himself on a Halo 4 squad with the former Eagles quarterback earlier this week:

Hello Mr. Scott,

So i was playing halo 4 on xbox live (well trolling on xbox live) and i stumbled across a teammate with the gamertag "Koy Detmer." I laughed and thought of good old Koy Detmer (you know, botched place kick holding, 14 interceptions in 7 games Koy Detmer). Anyways, following the game I sent him a message, because it isnt everyday you play a game with Koy Detmer. Heres what I sent to him: "Koy! Yo dude! Come back to the Birds man! The team sucks we need you! Im sure the team will give you a shot!" I know he sucks, but why not throw out a line to see if even the lifetime backup would want to come back to this team.

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See, that, to me, is substantially more entertaining than reading about players who, themselves, will be relegated to the sidelines of life – online gaming – next fall.

– The one interesting item from last night’s game was the play of the defensive line, which has improved significantly since asshole Jim Washburn was canned. Sheil Kapadia over at Philly Mag has that story

– Oh yeah, and Brad Nessler is substantially better in NCAA Football than he is doing NFL games.

Go Birds!

14 Comments

  • Steve Budin December 14, 2012 at 9:11 am

    Koy Detmer is also on capperslounge posting the godfather picks

    Reply
  • Tim Sheckler December 14, 2012 at 9:15 am

    Koy’s neck beard can play special teams better than what we’ve got starting for us now.

    Reply
  • Don Piano December 14, 2012 at 9:25 am

    I miss Koy Detmer’s Touchdown Dance.

    Reply
  • 700 Level Rules December 14, 2012 at 9:33 am

    “I’m not quite sure why all the local media outlets have dozens of stories from the Eagles game.”
    Um, because it’s their job?
    How is this site still in business? It should be turned into a penal colony-esque message board for deranged philly sports “fans” who can’t play nice on the rest of the internet.

    Reply
  • ThePhillyFlash December 14, 2012 at 9:34 am

    I went to bed at halftime. At 53, I’m too old to be staying up late to watch garbage. Hey, Kyle, you should trademark “Bird Droppings” and “Morning Wood”, that way, you can avoid infringement by the Daily News. Just saying.

    Reply
  • Matt December 14, 2012 at 9:37 am

    Dude…it’s not even that good of a headline…no one likes a whiner.
    Oh, and I got booed at an Eagles game once for wearing my Koy jersey…he was having a bad half and people did not like me for it. Then they brought Jeff Blake in and he threw a pick-6 and I got high-fives for not being in a Jeff Blake jersey. I love my city.

    Reply
  • Matt December 14, 2012 at 9:39 am

    Also, Tom is an idiot. Koy would NEVER botch a hold. The rest is mostly true.

    Reply
  • Mike December 14, 2012 at 9:55 am

    Kyle, do you honestly think you’re the first person to come up with a bird shit reference for a team that is named after a bird and is playing like shit?

    Reply
  • luke December 14, 2012 at 10:05 am

    I cant tell which asshead on the nfl network is talking because I hate them both equally but did anyone else catch one of those yambags call terrance newman nate newton…TWICE.
    Also popular, from Maclin’s opening fumble: “And now here come the boos…..because……well….ya know…..”
    Keep up the less than mediocre work boys…

    Reply
  • Pat December 14, 2012 at 10:22 am

    Loved Mayock shutting Nessler up at the end of the game though when the fans that were left started booing.
    “Philly fans, doing what they do best…”
    “Aww, c’mon, don’t do that. Stop it.”
    Gotta love Mayock.

    Reply
  • Roose (TTB) December 14, 2012 at 10:23 am

    Twice you failed to recognize how good Brandon Graham is playing, and then you half-assed a link talking about the defensive line. Come on, Kyle. Stop napping during games.

    Reply
  • Carl Jibipowitz December 14, 2012 at 12:05 pm

    So, it’s only taken a few games for Andy and Marty to derail Bryce Brown’s raw ability. Who’da thunk it?

    Reply
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