Bernie Parent Will Be Writing For Philly.com

image from mobilwi.typepad.com

Philly.com, as part of its never-ending quest to churn a profit by doing things that will NEVER CHURN A PROFIT, will add “New Voices” in an effort to pump up its content offering without, you know, hiring actual journalists: [Philly.com]

Ari Rabin-Havt, the nation’s most exciting new progressive commentator; Philadelphia’s own John Featherman with his unique and penetrating conservative viewpoints; Mark Segal, one of the region’s and nation’s most compelling gay leaders and the publisher of Philadelphia Gay News will add topical commentary in a new column entitled, Mark, uncensored;  Kenny Gamble, a Philadelphia cultural and business giant; Table Matters blogger Jason Wilson; leading interior designer Carrie Leskowitz; Dr. Jill McDevitt, a nationally recognized sexologist; technology pundit Eric Smith, co-founder of Geekadelphia; activist Chris Goldstein who writes about the issues surrounding marijuana; Maria Papadakis whose videos will cover the local social scene and celebrities; and Bernie Parent, an inspiring member of the NHL Hall of Fame who writes about self-empowerment and motivation.

 

I will look forward to Dr. Jill McDevitt’s sex talks, because…

Screen Shot 2013-01-28 at 10.08.49 AM
 … yeah.

And I’ll also look forward to articles by Bernie Parent, who continues to have the best life in the history of life:

"Bernie is one of the most legendary players in Flyers history who personally inspires me by the strong bond that he shares with so many in the community through his mentoring and leadership." said Lexie Norcross, Director of Interstate General Media, parent company of Philly.com.  “We are thrilled Bernie will be part of Philly.com and know that he will instantly entertain and motivate readers.”

 

For real, Parent is awesome. His existence basically consists of banquets, paid speaking gigs, fishing and cigar sponsorships (he writes a weekly fishing report and has his own cigar!), taking photos with topless chicks at Wing Bowl, and now, getting paid to write things on Philly.com.

I’m not so sure any of this makes business sense for Philly.com, because, chances are, 70% of the “New Voices” won’t be able to string coherent sentences together… but, Bernie will undoubtedly entertain.

Philly.com’s VP of Digital Advertising Steve Alessi explained the new initiative thusly:

“The New Voices” is a platform that will soon debut on Philly.com and will feature notable national and local leaders addressing a wide and diverse range of topics.  “Our goal, at Philly.com is to reach across the full breadth of our region’s ideas, its people and their lives,” said Steve Alessi, Vice President, Digital Advertising and General Manager of Philly.com. “Relevance and reach can be overused terms, but “The New Voices” reflects our desire to transform and deepen the traditional relationship between a media company and its community.”

 

I have no idea what that means.

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9 Comments

  • Chance- Vice President of the GnA Falcons January 28, 2013 at 10:51 am

    Bernie loves pussy

    Reply
  • merkel January 28, 2013 at 11:17 am

    Has Bern blown a load on Dr. Jill’s face yet?

    Reply
  • sarcastic January 28, 2013 at 11:19 am

    oh yeah cause you coping and pasting twitter feeds is journalism. ur pathetic. this site used to be cool to get the insie scoop but you’ve turned into a negative fuck who just stalks twitter like any other bored asshole who lives in their mom’s basement.

    Reply
  • Jimmy Russell January 28, 2013 at 11:28 am

    Featherman?! an actual libertarian? holy shit how will all the foaming-at-the-mouth liberals react with such logic, such REASON. I love it.

    Reply
  • The Hand That Feeds January 28, 2013 at 12:00 pm

    Better be careful what you say about Philly.com, Kyle. They’re trying to churn you a profit too! You’re their new Twitter correspondent.
    http://www.philly.com/philly/blogs/phillygossip/LeSean-McCoy-fights-with-baby-mama-on-Twitter-deletes-account.html

    Reply
  • The Hand That Feeds January 28, 2013 at 12:02 pm

    Also, Dr. Jill’s first article is about supporting our Wingettes and encouraging them to be slutty whores, so long as no one calls them slutty whores.

    Reply
  • Hippo Critter January 28, 2013 at 2:15 pm

    You’ve got nerve talking about doing things that will never turn a profit. For every other original post you have two ads that no one gives a shit about.

    Reply
  • BobSmith77 January 28, 2013 at 3:07 pm

    It is ridiculous how far the Philly Inquirer has fallen. It’s basically an upgraded online rag now with some decent reporting here and there in the Sunday section.
    Local and state reporting though have really gone downhill and the 2 main City Hall reporters they have currently are completely out of their depth.

    Reply
  • Michael Smerconish April 30, 2013 at 12:45 pm

    Featherman is FULL of BS

    Reply
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