Creepy New Jersey Teacher Redefines “Watersports” for a New Generation

Screen Shot 2013-04-24 at 12.03.20 PMYou know, I like to cover urine stories. I really do. Don’t judge me– it’s just a character trait (flaw?). Cliff Lee’s golden rainbow of excellence. That goofy Iron Pigs urinal game (do we have an update on how that’s going?). Those are things I like. So this story should fit right into the stream.

A New Jersey man may be the worst teacher on earth. He pees in water bottles and then makes innocent kids carry them to the bathroom. Somewhere, Jerry Sandusky has a really goofy smile on his face right now: [] [AP]

The state education commissioner on Tuesday approved Paterson Public Schools’ request to fire a second grade teacher from School 13 who was accused of having students carry plastic bottles of his urine to flush in the boys’ room.

The teacher, Ron S. Tuitt, also was accused of urinating in a classroom waste basket, directing students to go on personal errands for him, improperly driving students home and sending inappropriate emails to parents.

The state found the teacher once urinated in a classroom trash can, sometimes urinated in a plastic bottle and asked students to take his waste to the boys’ bathroom and flush it, and let students sit in his motorized wheelchair.


But what’s with that throwaway line about the motorized wheelchair? Like, clearly the teacher was handicapped and that’s going to be his excuse for hosing into water bottles and handing it to little kids. But did the wheelchair come into play at all in his pissing habits? Were the peeing, urine extrication and wheelchair sitting related? Were the kids physically harmed besides the emotional scarring of having to carry bionic teacher’s piss? Is this Patches O’Houlihan? Are there any other states besides Jersey and, say, Michigan where this could have happened? So many questions… so few answers.

Punchlines, though? Well, Jim Gardner has one of those:

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15 Responses

  1. I always piss in Gatorade bottles in the middle of the night after a night of drinking cold beer

  2. I mean, this is something guys in single-sex dorms when sleeping over to avoid getting caught. Not second grade classrooms.

    1. The IronPigs urinal game is not what it is cracked up to be. I mean, it’s fun, and entices me to 1.) drink more beer and 2.) hold my urine until I am ready to explode so I can play longer. There is one huge problem….

      When you finally play the game, you will have somewhere between five and eight people looking over your shoulder, as you urinate, to see how you are doing. Remember playing Mortal Kombat at the arcade, while everyone watched to see if you could beat Goro, well it is the same way here. Except…you are holding your exposed penis.

  3. as a teacher myself, im truly in awe over this one. if he truly had some type of limitation or handicap, a 504 would have been place to address such needs of his. sounds like this teacher had a mountain of wrongdoings and the school district/state finally had enough evidence to revoke his tenure.

  4. “improperly driving students home”

    You better bet your bottom dollar it was improper! A Hoveround is only meant for one passenger.

  5. student: is this really necessary?

    teacher: NECESSARY…is it NECESSARY for me to handle my own urine??

  6. Hey, Funny Guy,

    I am emailing you a packet of material that was sent to press outlets exploring the truth behind this story, which is nothing but a pack of lies. If you’d like to talk to me one-to-one after reading and looking at what you receive I would more than welcome it. You see, before becoming a dedicated teacher in 1996 I was a journalist who won 29 New Jersey Press Association awards for journalistic excellence. Back then we didn’t run any story without talking to those on both sides of any issue. This case us under appeal and there is pending disability discrimination lawsuit that has not begun yet. Feel free to use what I send you on the record, including coverage of the two television interviews. Also, read my bio. I have had my life destroyed by lies.and it hurts to read comments about me from people who know nothing except one boy’s claim and his accomplice’s fellow tale for which he mostly rescinded in court, admitting that he took his friend’s word that this happened as described. By the way, I taught more than 120 other kids during this period, and not one supported the lie. Check your email. The material will be there.

    1. Ronnie Tuitt is a sick individual who believes that people should feel sorry for him because of his medical conditions. This behavior is not new. From 1974-2015, Ron S. Tuitt did a horrible deed and probably set really disabled teachers back a century. A pediatrician I know said it would be quite improbable for an eight-year-old child to make up a story about a teacher peeing in a urinal. He should be ashamed of himself for trying to blame children for his outrageously bad conduct.

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