Your Monday Morning Roundup: Days That End in Layyyyyyyyynce Edition!

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Laynce, in my pants

Who had Laynce Nix in their Roy Halladay 200th win pool? I had a shrink, for much different reasons than a top of the ninth solo bomb to put the Phillies up, 2-1, against the lowly, but feisty, Marlins.

Oh, and Doug Collins will not return to the Sixers this year. More on that in the roundup.

Let’s hit it!


But first, a word from our sponsors:

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The roundup:

Laynce Nix’s game-winning home run. Caution: T-Mac.

Doug Collins is fucking out.

THIS IS HOW the past week appears to have played out between 76ers coach Doug Collins and management, according to multiple league sources.

The sources say that Collins, now in his third season as head coach and with 1 more year remaining on his contract, told management he would prefer not to return as coach next season. Owner Josh Harris informed Collins that he very much wants Collins back at the helm next season, but was told that Collins was not prepared to return in that capacity. Both sides, according to the sources, have agreed on the same goal, and that is to reach an amicable solution to the matter.

No surprise here. Although, the fact that it happened so soon after reports that the team wanted Collins out… well, that’s interesting.

Disappointing reviews for 42 (I haven’t seen it yet). It got a 75% on Rotten Tomatoes… but most of the positive reviews stemmed from the fact that it was A) pleasing and B) a movie about Jackie Robinson (meaning that it’s hard to not recommend). The consensus is that the movie lacks depth and is a very surface level depiction of a story to which we all know the ending. I was looking for more a Lincoln-esque tale (not because of the civil rights thing, but for the in-depth, heavy storytelling).

Yesterday, and debuted, requiring a subscription:

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I get what they are trying to do – separate out the two papers from, which is free – but the design, for the Inquirer at least, is embarrassingly simplistic and – surprise! – glitchy on mobile. The site doesn’t even attempt to take advantage of the fact that it’s, you know, online. Instead, just text on white background with a small image. They’re trying to appease old school newspaper readers, yes, but there’s no reason not to take advantage of this much different canvas. Even worse, is that they keep pushing the digital edition of the paper, which is no more than an online replica of the print layout… which is literally the stupidest thing ever.

The Daily News site looks much better, but I don’t have a subscription and there’s no way I’m going to pay for one to inspect it further.

A man shot himself in the head at the NRA 500. If only he had a gun to defend himself.

Adam Scott won what was an awesome Masters.


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The Onion elects D battery to Sports Hall of Fame.

This is amazing: Mike Rice is coaching 12-year-old girls and yelling at them.

Jack Edwards is such a douche. And a weirdo. A douche and a weirdo.

CC Sabathia Sportscenter commercial.

Julie Dorenbos and Susie Celek wore next to nothing and played with a pussy on Great Sports Debate last week as part of a promotion for their tanning place, Skin Palette:

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HughE Dillon has more photos

Video of that, and Katherine Webb in a bikini, after the jump.

H/T to (@KingofBlueBell)


27 Responses

  1. congrats to roy! its a shame that among his many accolades it would appear that world series ring will not be one of them! as for doug, its definitely time to move on. while it is not entirely his fault, it was clear the players tuned him out this year!

  2. i wish the tiger did the world a favor and slapped those awful people…..i wonder if every city has a long snappers wife trying to squeeze out every ounce of local fame in order to make people look like they have Carotenosis…..we get it you have fake tits congrats….

  3. While the Phils took two of three from Miami, I wasn’t satisfied. For one, it should’ve been a sweep since the Marlins stink like, well, dead fish; two, the offense went to sleep, scoring all of five runs in three games; and three, I couldn’t gauge just how good Doc looked yesterday since he faced a lineup full of kids and aging rejects. If the Phils played a REAL team, they would’ve been embarrassed.

    1. yep. hard to get a read on doc’s pitching performance being as he was facing a rather dismal lineup. calling that lineup putrid would be an understatement.

  4. For what it’s worth, I actually liked T-Mac’s call of Nix’s HR better than Franzke’s.

    T-Mac at least new it was out immediately. Franzke wasn’t sure until he saw it hit the stands, which is odd because of how far out the ball went.

    1. In Franzke’s defense, T-Mac immediately says, “That’s pretty well hit” to every single fly ball that comes within 25 feet of the warning track. I get pretty freaking tired of hearing him get excited and say something is pretty well hit when you see the outfielder take 2 steps back and wait for the fly ball to fall into his glove.

  5. Did you really make fun of a site for looking simplistic? I have no problem with the layout of your site, but its about as simple as it gets.

    1. Yeah, good point.

      Kyle, you should really stick to sports and refrain from criticizing other website layouts or designs, because in all honesty, it makes you sound like a hypocrite (see: recent rant about David Murphy).

      As THWND already mentioned, your blog is as basic as it can possibly get. And frankly, the layouts of the Inquirer’s and PDN’s websites, especially for an ad-driven blog actually make a lot more sense than CB’s layout.

      Your new site is much better than the previous version, but this is far from cutting-edge or even worth bragging about, because in essence, by making fun of those other 2 sites, you’re essentially saying your site is much better.

      Stick to the Phillies posts and we’ll all keep reading.

  6. I’d definitely F susie celek. Of course, I don’t have a perm like her ex husband, so I’m not sure if i could bag her. Then again, I have a heartbeat and $5, so I’m sure I could.

  7. It’s remarkable that know-nothing sports commentators feel particularly entitled to stumble drunkenly into the gun debate. But yeah, let’s get rid of them! Because the child-killing thugs in Philly and Chicago will gladly surrrender theirs… right?

    1. Its remarkable that the statement above infuriated you enough to post a nonsensical comment. I guess people are not “entitled” to opinions right? Stifle yourself looser.

      1. so, to borrow what you wrote from last week, “why do you care what people think?” cant q-rid have have his own opinion without you donning a cape? i find it more remarkable that you are still using the phrase “stifle yourself.” that is weak! come up with something new!

        1. I find it amazing that anything anybody writes in the comment section is important enough to be remembered by somebody a week later.

    2. Its remarkable that know-nothing gun nuts feel the need to start a completely irrelevant, paranoid gun rant on a sports blog because of one sentence.

      1. I had to reread everything to find that sentence about guns. To paraphrase Hollis Thomas, seriously, Q-Rid? You got your panties in a bunch over THAT?

  8. Why does Susie still keep her married name? Brent used to cheat on her nonstop

  9. We need guns, because if we don’t have them the chances of Suzie and her disgusting twat getting killed after she blows some dude for coke will be greatly reduced.

  10. White space? The Inquirer should shove 15 more ads on every page to fill it in. Would look as sophisticated as this blog.

Comments are closed.