Could This CIA Spy, Arrested in Russia Today, Have Worn a Worse Wig?

Screen Shot 2013-05-14 at 10.35.14 AMIf you watch The Americans*, you just creamed yourself. This is the show, playing out in real-life! Someone go find my that fat Russian spy handler– we got some espionage to do. RT.com:

The Federal Security Service (FSB) Public Relations Center announced that detained individual was Ryan Christopher Fogle, a career diplomat working as the third secretary of the Political Section of the American embassy in Moscow.

The agency stressed that Christopher had “special technical equipment” in his possession, including an additional wig, a microphone, multiple pairs of dark sunglasses and a lot of cash in euro – along with a Moscow atlas, a compass, two knives, and an American Bic lighter.

Fuckin’ MacGyver over here. But someone should tell him the Cold War ended 20 years ago. And let’s talk about that Kristen Wiig for a second: Could this dude have found a cheaper, more ridiculous hair helmet? Russian spies Phillip and Elizabeth in The Americans routinely bust out more believable disguises. They change from proud mama and papa to murderous Bonnie and Clyde and back again in the span of three TV minutes. Fogle looks like a shamed dude trying to disguise himself leaving a whore house or prison. Yeah, I’ll just throw on this Joan Lunden hair and my bring-your-dad’s-extra-large-work-shirt-to-school-as-an-art-smock button-down and no one will suspect a thing when I give this CIA recruit a Gmail address to contact us at. Wait, what?!

This is the letter Fogle was carrying:

Screen Shot 2013-05-14 at 10.52.31 AM

Oh cool, we’re offering $100k for a job interview but can’t get the spy a better disguise? A Bane mask would have been less suspicious than this getup. I’m convinced this is a ruse. No way this guy wasn’t intending to get caught. He’s already been given back to the U.S. I think the White House is just looking for diversions at this point. We’re one negative story away from Biden dropping trou and hugging young mothers at the Wilmington train station. Wag dog, wag!

More on the lousy spy at RT.com.

Screen Shot 2013-05-14 at 11.02.18 AM

*A few months ago, I called The Americans a B-level show. I was wrong. It rocks. The full season was every bit as good as Homeland Season 2 (nothing will ever come close to 1). Just a well-done show all around. Entertaining, suspenseful, seamlessly weaves in real-life characters and events without feeling forced, good acting. Great disguises– better than this joker. Highly recommended. 

Share on facebook
Facebook
Share on twitter
Twitter
Share on linkedin
LinkedIn
Share on email
Email

19 Responses

  1. Spoiler alert- I’d plow that Russian chick on “The Americans” all day every day. She has the perfect pig nose and a luscious behind…

      1. HAHAHA. Bert must have been your last straw. Some hack always has to write this. If your not interested…don’t read it!

        1. I fight the urge on every one of those to write a snarky response about the there’s no Flyers, no Sixers, no Eagles, and a lousy baseball team right now.

          Shit.

  2. Sounds like a nut who read too many Tom Clancy novels. As far as I’m concerned, the Ivans can keep him.

  3. Kyle More like a bad Dolph Lundgren 80s flick. with Brigitte Neilsen. and Steven Segal.
    The Boston Bomber’s Uncle Ruslan ? $600.000 house and he used to work for Halliburton/CIA front.

  4. In 1917, her use of jersey to make casual apparel for women caused a sensation among the wealthy. Jersey up to this duration was a physical used only to make men’s underwear. By 1919, she had established 4 boutiques. Even better, accord confer your apparel to a beneficial-nature|charity}, or vend them off to Plato’s Cabinet, or Goodwill. Intelligent you did something beneficial for someone less favored would make you perceive really beneficial. You could even just accord confer your apparel to a sibling, or cousin.

  5. full figures women can make themselves more enchanting by choosing a pile emblem that accentuates their curves instead of workmanship them swelling out in the wrongful areas. Brocades and chiffons are fabrics like that. Choosing the right shade is also weighty|significant|of importance|important}. Spirit-world like purple and inky will make you slimmer. A purple brocade pile dress and a inky chiffon dress will definitely make you more enchanting.

  6. Shopping is one of the most for the use of all hobbies among women no body to what part of the creation you go. It is suffering for some and they fall upon it is the most fantabulous and exciting thing in the creation. Traditionally shopping meant to impel to the market and hoard|shop} from one hoard to another or go to a shopping beetle and experience going through various types of sarees to pick out|pick|pick out|fix upon|make choice of|choose} the one that you fall upon would look profitable on you. In the present age, shopping has become very not burdensome and proper because you can buy sarees online.

  7. Locals act of passing|pass} through these in fashion things everyday and soon it has become a part of their life which consequently they adopted it into their own diction. This makes tribe in Hong Kong look cool and paramount. On medium, Hong Kong tribe has a wages of 100,000 Baht or 1250 US $) a month and they don’t have to bore about conveyance fee because normally they use Subway or MRT (mass transit Railway), only millionaires will buy a car. Therefore, tribe have big preserving coin to dispose of on something cool like shape.

  8. La nueva ronda de clima frío que viene, temperaturas bajo cero se acerca más y más cerca de nosotros, fuera de la gente usa ropa demasiado, en este frío invierno, la primera cosa a hacer es cálido invierno, caliente, más buena opción es una chaqueta ligera hacia abajo, nunca piense de nuevo que todos están hinchados por la chaqueta, la chaqueta en pedazos Usugi todavía con sol o lluvia, es necesario mantener un buen físico, pero también cálido y muy fácil de hacer, este invierno abajo en la pantalla será la fiesta!

Comments are closed.