Ruben Amaro Ain’t Do Five-Year Plans

Amaro_finger

fuck you, the future

David Murphy is probably the only writer on Earth who could non-ironically lead a story about a baseball GM with a quote from God… but, he did: [Philly.com]

Any professional who talks to the media about his area of expertise is succeptible to a certain level of contrarianism. Legend has it that even God the Creator once answered a question with the words, “I don’t know if ‘rest’ is the word I’d use to describe that seventh day, but. . .” So when the man responsible for the short and long-term success of the Phillies organization said on Monday afternoon that he doesn’t “do five-year plans,” it may have offered more of an insight into his psychology than his business philosophy (like, perhaps,  previous assertions that he cares about production, not walks, and that a player like Ryan Howard can “set his own market).

No doubt, a distaste for five-year plans on the part of the Phillies’ chief personnel executive would offer a tidy explanation for the franchise’s current predicament (after all, a five-year $125 million contract extension looks a lot more palatable when you ignore its ramifications for all five years that it covers). But after Amaro answered a question about how his five-year plan would affect the decisions he makes prior to this year’s nonwaiver trade deadline by saying, “I don’t do five year plans — other organizations do, I guess,” he continued by describing something that sounded awfully similar to one.

Murph then went on to write 2,500 additional words – yes, after the God lede – based on that one comment. I have no idea if it’s good or not, or if we hear from the Apostles – I lost interest after graf 3 – but you can judge for yourself.

Meanwhile, Ruben saying he doesn’t do five-year plans is like Paul Holmgren saying he doesn’t mind overpaying 35-year-old defenseman. We already knew that.

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33 Comments

  • Q June 18, 2013 at 12:18 pm

    Do you realize that your front page is completely fucking up and no one can read any of the articles? You fucking dipshit.

    • Mike June 18, 2013 at 12:26 pm

      I’ve had no issues.

    • Q YouHaveIssues June 18, 2013 at 12:31 pm

      Wow Q… did we get up on the wrong side of the bed this morning? Perhaps not getting any at home? Or are you just perfect in everything that you do, never make mistakes and are sick of all us humans that do? Get a life dude. So there are some complications going on!!!… This surely is grounds for calling someone a “fucking dipshit”, huh?? Better make sure you have all your I’s dotted and your T’s crossed before karma comes your way!!

      By the way, I am having no issues either, as Mike stated above. So perhaps your the “fucking dipshit” with a pierce of shit computer, smartphone or tablet!

      • FACE June 18, 2013 at 1:09 pm

        The site is fine, answer the survey question and move on.

  • Mike June 18, 2013 at 12:26 pm

    Ruben also says he doesn’t believe in walks and that the only way to produce runs is to get hits. DURRRRRRRRR

    He’s like that fun ex-girlfriend. He gave us the excitement of Halladay, Lee, and Pence, but in the end we ended up with nasty STDs.

  • Q YouHaveIssues June 18, 2013 at 12:26 pm

    Wow Q… did we get up on the wrong side of the bed this morning? Perhaps not getting any at home. Or are you just perfect in everything that you do, never make mistakes and are sick of all us humans that are? Get a life dude. So there is some complications going on!!!… This surely is grounds for calling someone a “fucking dipshit”, huh?? Better make sure you have all your I’s dotted and your T’s crossed before karma comes your way!!

  • Informed June 18, 2013 at 12:31 pm

    up until last year, i defended amaro. again, if people were told before the start of the 09 season that amaro would acquire the services of cliff lee, roy halladay, roy osawalt, hunter pence, and jonathan papelbon, most people would have creamed in their pants thinking a dynasty is in the making. where amaro has gone extremely wrong was his batting and bullpen acquisitions over the last two years. he has brought in two types of players; either a player who is well past their prime or a player who is simply inept. that said, i cannot and will not defend him anymore. however, i have a feeling that he will continue calling the shots for several more years.

    • ThePhillyFlash June 18, 2013 at 2:11 pm

      Ruben’s track record when it comes to acquiring players has been haphazard at best. For every slam dunk like Lee or Halladay, there’s been flops like Pence, Qualls, Wiggington, Revere, the Youngs, et al. Don’t even get me started on his glaring failures when it came to shoring up a bullpen that’s been a leaky sieve for years and shows precious little sign of improvement. Sadly, as long as Ruben has the blessing of Dave Montgomery, nothing will change, though it should.

  • Q sucks June 18, 2013 at 12:37 pm

    Q…you suck- and apparently so does your computer

  • Todd Pratt June 18, 2013 at 12:39 pm

    I heard half a jew rube used to fuck the living shit out of lesile guidel back in the day

    • Barry June 18, 2013 at 5:02 pm

      So THAT’s where he got the idea to target anybody who’s past their prime!

  • Kyle is the meat in a Carter/Richards sandwich June 18, 2013 at 1:10 pm

    Block quoting an article from a writer you rip all the time, then adding pithy thoughts of your own – normal CB post. Penis.

  • FACE June 18, 2013 at 1:22 pm

    I have been angry with Rube since he didn’t go after Josh Willingham a couple years ago. His lack of success sure isn’t due to the lack of effort on his part. I just feel like he makes the wrong moves sometimes and he is hampered by contracts like those of our three big name pitchers and our power hitting first basemen who hasn’t hit a homerun since May 29th.

    FACE

  • Rubén's Left Nut June 18, 2013 at 1:29 pm

    Murphy eats Donkey dick!

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