HOLD YOUR PHONES SIDEWAYS

HOLD YOUR PHONES SIDEWAYS

Dateline Pittsburgh (CB) — You fucking Yinzers you.

When the mustache-rocking urban planners of Pittsburgh decided to put PNC Park at the foot of one of the city’s 3.6 million bridges, they probably never took into account that, one day, the Pirates might play a game that actually meant something and that, win or lose, the bridge would serve as a tempting predominantly steel structure with which to celebrate or kill one’s self.

The Pirates won last night, so it was the former in that scenario.

Behold, a Yinzer jumping off Clemente Bridge following the Pirates win over the Reds:

But hey, good news– it’s not like that river is polluted or anything:

High levels of an ultra-salty compound that could be linked to oil and gas drilling persist in the Allegheny River’s Pittsburgh-area watershed, while the levels declined in the nearby Monongahela River, recent research shows.

Officials at public water utilities in both watersheds grew concerned in 2009 and 2010 when bromide levels soared during a surge of Marcellus Shale gas drilling. Although not considered a pollutant by themselves, the bromides combine with chlorine used in water treatment to produce compounds that can threaten public health.

A recent Pittsburgh Water and Sewer Authority report found that high levels of bromides persisted this year in the Allegheny just downstream from industrial brine treatment plants. The plants accept wastewater from oil and gas drilling and other industrial activities.

Oh.

That guy just sprouted fifth and sixth limbs, making him the third most peculiar male in his lineage.