Donovan McNabb Said to Be in Good Spirits After Being Caught in Yet Another Shitstorm

I am so sick and tired of writing about Donovan McNabb’s existence, but the dude is a shitstorm magnet. Wherever he goes, whatever he says, whatever he does… shit follows and usually hurls itself into a fan and, subsequently, on everyone downwind. McNabb always bears the brunt of it and then doles out little smears to those around him as disgusting tokens of his appreciation.

Good morning. That was my first paragraph of the day.

Donovan McNabb finally responded to comments made by Shawn Andrews accusing McNabb of being THE WORST TEAMMATE IN THE HISTORY OF SPORTS(!). I’m guessing McNabb would’ve had something to say sooner had he not been digging out from the shit flung by a nation of enraged rednecks.

Former Five, speaking to Mike Sielski, who took time off from ramming Ed Snider’s head in scrap metal crusher, was confused:

“That is ridiculous,” McNabb said. “I don’t know what comments you expect to get from me, but that is news to me and completely false. For me to bully anybody, that sounds unbelievable. . . .

“I don’t really understand why this would come about, one, and two, how this would even be an accusation. If there’s anything I can say, I was more than open to Shawn. I always tried to be open to all the guys. I’d invite them over to my house. I’d have holiday dinners or team functions, especially for the offense, every year. I’d buy all the guys gifts, if I made the Pro Bowl or not, for an appreciation. Shawn was one of the most talented offensive linemen we had. I was always happy to have him.”

McNabb’s in the business and was the subject of Andrews’ comments, which were everywhere yesterday. How did he not know about this until Sielski called him?

But I’m kind of on McNabb’s side here. Andrews called out McNabb and McNabb only. Why? Because his name gets headlines. If Andrews had said that, say, Correll Buckhalter used to send him dildos and laugh at him in the shower, everyone’s reaction would have been: Oh yeah, I remember Correll Buckhalter. What ever happened to him? But when it’s McNabb… shit happens.

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  • C Buck 28 November 21, 2013 at 10:50 am

    One dildo. Let’s not get carried away here.

  • Faux Jay Grace November 21, 2013 at 10:55 am


  • FACE November 21, 2013 at 11:13 am

    Andrews…MAndrews…Seventy threeeee…seventy…threeeee…Get my Michael Phelps onnnnnnn…my Michael Phelps onnnnn…

    I’m with McNabb on this. Andrews is a depressed, drug addict, moron who is just looking for attention. Bill Belichick once called him the best guard he had ever seen. He is the definition of wasted talent. It’s not even worth addressing on his part.

    A NASCAR driver is as much of an athlete as a damn jockey. Sure there’s strategy involved, but let’s be real, the vehicle does all the work. You’re just guiding it.


  • ThePhillyFlash November 21, 2013 at 11:20 am

    It irks me to side with Donnie Drama, but I have to in this instance. Shawn Andrews is a fat tub of repugnant shit who just should’ve stayed under his rock instead of mouthing off like he had. What did Andrews have to gain by spouting all that crapola, after all these years, other than buying himself five minutes of fame that he doesn’t deserve? Ridiculous!

  • Chris November 21, 2013 at 11:39 am

    Shawn Andrews has successfully united the entire city of Philadelphia – and more shockingly, its suburbs – around Donovan McNabb. I can’t believe this is real life.

  • Steve from KOP November 21, 2013 at 11:46 am

    Shawn Andrews had former Dallas Cowboy hall of famer Larry Allen type talent,but for whatever reason he lost his desire to play football.

    Maybe that is what the big kid should be speaking about instead of trying to stay relevant by blaming McNabb for ruining his career(fat sensitive mothafucka).

  • Your Mother November 21, 2013 at 11:47 am

    Just like with Jason Peters. Any time you see a man with a goatee that resembles a cirlcle drawn around a person’s mouth looking like a single line from a magic marker I have to think to myself, “Look at that dumb mvtherfvcka….” Shawn has one too, go figure…

  • LAURIE November 21, 2013 at 11:56 am

    WOW, for once Philly agrees on something, this has-been needs to get a life, he’s nothing but a washed up piece of crap….

  • Mike Missanelli November 21, 2013 at 12:53 pm

    I agree with everyone that Andrews needs to shut up. The only thing I would ask of everyone calling him a useless, fat tub of shit, is to consider that this guy CLEARLY has mental problems. Not, like, Terrell Owens I’ve-been-hurt-as-a-child-so-I’m-gonna-turn-into-a-major-narcissist type of mental problem. I’m talking this guy may have crazy-guy, suicidal-type mental problems.

  • Carmen Sandiego November 21, 2013 at 12:58 pm

    How the in the sam hell did you get The Humane Society to put an advertisement on your site? haha do they not read these comments or your articles. You must be a marketing genius.

  • Junkhead November 21, 2013 at 1:00 pm

    Who cares about this Donnie Mac shit.
    What I really want to know is if Kacie McDonnell will go out with the poor sap intern who serenaded her on WIP this morning!

    P.S. For the betting types, I believe the over/under for her promotional tweets regarding her appearance on the show was around twelve.

    • Steve from KOP November 21, 2013 at 1:41 pm

      I’d rather listen to Roseanne Barr or Carl Lewis sing the national anthem before I listen to that train wreck of a morning show.


    • Chris November 21, 2013 at 7:11 pm

      That Cataldi/Kacie McDonnell thing was the creepiest radio segment I’ve ever heard, particularly the portion after she left

  • Uncle Meat November 21, 2013 at 4:52 pm

    McNabb NEEDS acceptance by everyone…everybody knows that by now. He totally strikes me as the type that would do just about anything to get that acceptance, even if its taunting, ridiculing, or talking down to a teammate. It wouldn’t surprise me one bit if he did what Andrews said he did just so he could “look cool” and get acceptance from the rest of the team.

  • Drew S November 21, 2013 at 9:15 pm

    Five loves you!!! Five will always love you!!!

  • Marcus Vick's Anus November 22, 2013 at 5:22 am

    I am sorry to be the baron of bad news, but you seem buttered, so allow me to play doubles advocate here for a moment. For all intensive purposes I think you are wrong. In an age where false morals are a diamond dozen, true virtues are a blessing in the skies, and are more than just ice king on the cake. We often put our false morality on a petal stool like a bunch of pre-Madonnas, but you all seem to be taking something very valuable for granite.

    So I ask of you to mustard up all the strength you can because it is a doggy dog world out there. Although there is some merit to what you are saying it seems like you have a huge ship on your shoulder. In your argument you seem to throw everything in but the kids Nsync, and even though you are having a feel day with this I am here to bring you back into reality.

    I have a sick sense when it comes to these types of things. It is almost spooky, because I cannot turn a blonde eye to these glaring flaws in your rhetoric. I have zero taller ants when it comes to people spouting out hate in the name of moral righteousness. You just need to remember what comes around is all around, and when supply and command fails you will be the first to go.

    Make my words, when you get down to brass stacks it doesn’t take rocket appliances to get two birds stoned at once. It’s clear who makes the pants in this relationship, and sometimes you just have to swallow your prize and accept the fax, instead of making a half-harded effort. You might have to come to this conclusion through denial and error but I swear on my mother’s mating name that when you put the petal to the medal you will pass with flying carpets like it’s a peach of cake.

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