Flyers

The Flyers Beat the Pens, and a New Puck Bunny Emerges

By Kyle Scott

Published: Nov 14th, 2013 · 10:27 AM EST

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Move over, Princess Sass, there’s a new puck bunny in town, and this one wants to fuck Sidney Crosby onto the IR.

Meet Lacey Janelle (@laceyjanelle), a Penguins fan from Northern Alberta. She has a website. Last night, she was in the ‘Burgh (however unfortunately) to watch the Flyers take another dump in the Shit City. Pictures of her and her sign quickly found their way to Deadspin and Pensblog, which meant a backlash of nasty Tweets to Lacey, who, predictably, toed the line between loving-the-attention and nervous breakdown like the experienced bunny biter she is.

Unfortunately, none of her increasingly crazy responses provided any information about the chick on the right. Those eyes. My God, if Lacey wants to give Crosby a concussion, her friend wants to murder Evgeni Malkin and cut him into a million little Shrek pieces:

Chris Rock once joked that a father has one responsibility in life: keep his daughter off the pole. I’d argue, however, that if you’re an upper-middle-class suburban father, the pole is of no worry to you. Puck Bunnydom is. Your job is to keep your daughter away from the rink.