These (soon-to-be) NHL Draft Picks Were Eager to Get Drunk and Screw Before Their Big Day

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This post originally ran just over a year ago, when our favorite (NOW MARRIED!) puck bunny conquered roughly half a dozen soon-to-be professional hockey players. Sadly, there was no similar venture this year (that we know of…). So, while the sports world slows for a few days as we celebrate Bill Pullman’s famous Independence Day speech and I stock up on coffee, beer and Haribo Gummy Bears for our Flyers free agency running commentary on Friday, let’s relive the beauty and majesty of Princesss Sass, a tradition unlike any other.


Before we delve into the shadowy world of jersey chasing – puck bunnydom, to be specific – let’s rewind to an earlier time.

Back in April, during that series in which the Flyers embarrassed the half-assed hockey team from the western end of the state, we introduced you to (our favorite) partially cloaked Penguins fan: Princesss Sass, as she’s known on the Interrods.

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We first came across Ms. Sass when she posted pictures of some signs she brought to the CONSOL Energy Center to harass the Flyers. We then followed her solo travels to Philadelphia for Game 3 and, as recently as last week, featured her in our special puck slut PSA relating to the announcement of the NHL Draft coming to the City of Brotherly Love in 2014. Sass’ appearance in our PSA was to demonstrate the shooting-fish-in-a-barrel nature of the NHL entry draft, an event that sees scores of young, mostly Canadian, teen-something boys flock into a particular city for, up to that point, the biggest weekend of their lives. The weekend when they become men.

We have to give Sass credit. She’s taken our heavy ribbing in stride (even though I once called her a slore), almost reveling in her role as the stereotypical puck slut from Shittsburgh. But now she’s outdone herself. She has given us an exclusive, meticulously detailed account of her weekend at the NHL Draft – complete with pictures and screenshots – where she warmed up about a sixth of the top 60 picks.

Before last weekend’s event, which was held in Pittsburgh, Sass tweeted a preview of her outfit for the draft’s first night. For her and other puck bunnies (and I do wish to not be graphic here), the thought of bagging an up-and-comer who might one day drink from Lord Stanley’s Cup (or, less ambitiously, bookend Pierre McGuire along an NHL dasher) makes their underoos drippier than a protagonist during the rain scene in a mid-oughts romance flick.*

*Ryan Gosling vociferously objects! “I’m wetter and I look better! And I’m a poet.”

You see, hockey players, unlike athletes from the other three major sports, are fairly accessible. For example, if you were a jersey chaser and wanted to fuck LeBron James, you’d likely have to make it through long lines, VIP ropes, possibly a background check, a publicist, some posse and Mike Miller before you ever got near King. Then there’s a good chance you’d have to be taken for a test spin (perhaps simultaneously) by a few members of his inner-circle – sexual gatekeepers, if I may – to see if you were up to the task. With satisfactory performance, you might – might – have a chance to score with LeBron.

Conversely, if you wanted to bump baby makers with, say, Jeff Carter, all you’d have to do is wear a revealing tube top to La Costa this Friday night.

It’s just… easier to get with hockey players.

At the NHL Draft, it’s easiest: puck bunnies want in early and not-even-old-enough-to-shave athletes want their first (or second or third) groupie. It’s a perfect balance, this delicate ecosystem of fuck. And that’s where we begin our story.

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[Note: We’ve removed players’ names from the story and texts. But among those included are five first-rounders, four second-rounders, two sons of former NHLers, and one (now) Flyer. All are 18, or younger.]

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Take it away, Ms. Sass.


“That day, I got texts from [Player 1] saying his friend [Player 3] was already in town and needed something to do that night. My friend [redacted] and I said fine. [Player 3] started texting me and told us when to come down.”


The exchange with [Player 1], who was offering up his friend, [Player 3], as a stand-in for the evening:

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“I was also texting [Player 4] at the time.”


That exchange:

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The evening:

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“We got to [Player 3]’s room and in there was [Player 5], [Player 3], [Player 6], and [Player 7]. We hung out there. [Player 5] took me up to his room and we had sex. We came back down and my friend was hooking up with [Player 3], so [Player 5] and i hooked up again, in the living room of [Player 3] ‘s and [Player 6]’s room. My friend and I went to [Player 4]’s room at about 12:30, and [Player 5] and them didn’t know we were going up there. We snuck alcohol to both rooms, didn’t drink too much.”


Her texts to [Player 4], as he awaited his queen… and a gummer: [start at 9:45]

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“[Player 4] had me go into his room and asked me to give him head. I knew he had a girlfriend but he denied it simply saying he was “talking” to a girl back home. Whatever, not my relationship. Anyhow, after him and I hooked up, he sent [Player 9] in…. [Player 9] was real awkward at first but then we started hooking up. We had sex, he didn’t last long at all… After that I hooked up with [Player 8]. We then went home.”


The next morning [Player 4] was worried:

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Meanwhile, for a week, Ms. Sass had been texting with [Player 2]. He was yet to arrive.

“That morning, [Player 2] asked me to pick him up from the airport, and I did. Took him to the Westin hotel downtown nothing happened.”



Their exhange, dating back to the previous week:

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Sass never got with [Player 2]. But she did hang out with [Player 5] again:

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Afterward, [Player 5] was concerned about his performance:

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Friday. Draft night.

All along, [Player 1] had been determined to get in on the action:

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“Friday night was the hotel obviously. Kids that were up there were [Player 5], all three [Player 1]’s brothers, [who cares], [who cares], [Player 3], [Player 3]’s brother, and some other kids I didn’t know their names. My friend went back to [Player 3]’s hotel with him, everyone was pretty plastered. Had sex with [Player 5]. [Player 1] was pissed at me after [Player 5] left cause I had been hooking up with him. So I got with [Player 1]. Then everyone kinda went home. Next day, nothing happened. I cleaned the room and went home.”


It was a good weekend for the NHL’s future stars.

Just imagine what it would have been like if these guys were rich. And pseudo famous. And actually, you know, playing in the NHL.

Wait, Sass has a case study for that, too.

In a story that briefly had her trending in Canada last night, Sass tweeted (and then removed) a direct message exchange she had with former Flyer Joffrey Lupul, who wanted her to send naked pictures:

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Poor Joffrey. He never received his pictures, but he’s receiving a lot of flak in Canada today. Might be time for him to step aside, anyway. There’s some young blood in the game now… and they’re DTF.


160 Responses

  1. Wow that is ALOT of fn reading. I can tell you one of those players is probably Nail, the other is the Flyers 7th rd draft pick.

  2. I read this at work and had to run to the bathroom to rub one out. I remember my first gummer.

  3. IF it was another sport their names and identity wouldn’t be hidden…why are they hidden…I’m pretty sure they are all over the age of 18

  4. the night before the lupul thing happened she was tweeting to him, richie and giroux, and was like if you follow me ill send you nudes. its not like lupul just came out and was like give me nudes. she offered them to him. she has since deleted the tweets to the other players to make it seem like lupul just came from no where and asked.

  5. Amazing stuff you’re doing with this “sports blog” Kyle, really. Tell me…when was the last time you sat down and wrote anything ORIGINAL about sports? Not a bunch of Twitter screenshots and block quotes from other (real) writers, I mean something original. I know it’s tough and all, what with the 3-day weekends and spending so much time at mommy and daddy’s beach house, but still.

  6. wow. she is straight up trash. by putting this on your blog you are giving the skank the attention she wants. stop talking about her. this is a philly blog – why are you even talking about a big nosed whore from pittsburgh?

  7. my one boy fucked her. he said her pussy looked like a tony lukes roast beef sandwich. absolutely sloppy

  8. Wow so this chick went from hating to you to totally playing another and sharing all we secrets….wow Kyle how do you do it?
    Ps when is she going to bang [blogger 1]

  9. What exactly is the point of this story–other than to set this girl up to be called a slut, whore and pig? Unfortunately, she’s too young, dumb and naive to realize that putting something like this out there is going to follow her around for a long time. It’s pretty sad that she thinks getting this kind of attention is a *good* thing…

  10. Why in the blue hell would she post this shit. Doesn’t she have any kind of self respect? Like jesus christ, what a white trash Shittsburghian. How’s she gonna feel when one of those players beats her precious Penguins in the playoffs sometime in the future? Good god… What a stupid stupid girl.

  11. @deezy
    This is a hell of alot more original, interesting than a simple summary of sports stats…..its funny and its sports…just friggan enjoy it.
    I swear no matter what anyone ever does, someone somewhere will complain about it. People are just dumb.

  12. As far as this is from actual sports reporting, this is actually a pretty impressive scoop for CB considering the potential success of the players in the NHL down the road. I guarantee Deadspin yoinks this within the next hour. Mark my words…

  13. I work in the world of professional sports as a female and I want to ring her mother fucking neck out. She will never get hired, never be able to date a decent dude again. Honestly, if I were any agent, I would tell them to not have any contact with this girl and block her in any form. I have been in rooms with these guys and guys talk, guys make it worse (the players). She is a joke. There really, is no way she is getting passed this — unless she just wants to remain beef. I seen it way too many times and way too many gross conversations. And really. The guys were hoping to believe her. These kids are at the end of the day good boys and want to live the dream. A girl from a dress from DEB with herpes.

  14. That girl is straight up trife. Although, I have heard that is a rite of passage to get a VD before draft night.

  15. This is absolutley disgusting. Chick needs to go somewhere with her diseased vag.

  16. she gave me herpes on my cock when i fucked her the night of the draft. bitch has aids too

  17. WOW WOW WOW What a disgrace to women everywhere. Who cares though, she’s busted

  18. Guarantee she’s reading these comments and thinking that we’re all just jealous.

  19. Taylor, is there any tread left on the tires or at this point would it be more like throwing a hot dog down a hallway?

  20. This is the best “news” story I have read in a LOOOOOONNNNGGGG time! I would bet this broad has the biggest roast beef curtains known to man. What a whorebag. I’d bang her in a second though

  21. So on top of the obvious stuff, she bought alcohol for minors and posted texts proving it?

  22. This is what makes Kyle great. Although I do believe I got Herpes in my eyeballs.

  23. A woman too stupid to use har vagina for monetary purposes. matter of fact, she’ll buy the gas and booze!!!! never thought i’d see one of those.

  24. The funniest part will be when she tries to get a career after she finishes college.
    I expect a sad, lonely life.

  25. The “How about a date 2-8” chick is going to follow her footsteps when the draft is here in 2 years.

  26. Kinda figured she’d be at the draft; didn’t figure that the draft would be in her.

  27. Did she tell you all of this firsthand or did she post this stuff on her blog?

  28. So……shes an escort for NHLers…..she provides her own transportation to go get the train run on her, brings the booze, and does whatever they say…….I wonder how much she SHOULD be charging for her services…..
    I feel really bad for her parents who will, (if they have not already) found out about this shit… about PROUD.
    BTW she is a 6.5/10 IMO

  29. What a classy lady, and to call herself a princess thereby liking herself to royalty, well that’s just plain funny! So, not only is she a slut, she thinks it’s cool to brag about it.. She thinks it’s okay to sleep with underage guys (assuming its true that they were all 18 and younger) and she thinks it’s okay to buy them alcohol!!!
    Sass is gonna be haunted by this and her other exploits her while life. How is she gonna feel someday when her kids and their friends see this shit. She needs to have some self respect and realize that it’s not normal to throw your legs open, or your mouth as it may be, to someone in a jersey, or to someone who might someday wear a jersey!!!
    She is setting back women everywhere with each cock she mounts. Someone needs to smack her and tell her that these boys don’t really like her. Sure, they all pretend to be interested when they want a piece of ass, but that’s all it is. I honestly don’t understand all the sluts all over the Internet. The Internet is now full of girls and women who are addicted to attention from men. How can they not see that after a comment on their half naked photo that these same men, who tell them that they look hot and sexy, have no respect for them, and talk to their friends about them like they are a cheap whore standing on the corner.
    Where the hell are this girl’s parents? She needs a serious taking to!

  30. Okay, that Brian Burke tweet is fake, but that doesn’t make it any less hilarious.

  31. Great post, Kyle… this is why I visit your blog! Ignore the losers trashing you.

  32. Would be so funny if she got arrested over the vodka. Maybe some concerned citizen should make a call to the shittsburgh police.

  33. Is it possible she’s breaking the law and fucking an underage boy?
    Female Sandusky anyone?

  34. In fairness to the future NHLers I’ve been to Shittsburgh and she’s a 9.5 there.

  35. This girl is done. No player is going to touch her with a ten-foot pole after this. They’ll just fuck other girls who won’t screenshot their text messages.
    Not only is she disgusting for being Pittsburgh’s biggest slut, but what does it say about the kind of person you are when you’re BLATANTLY trying to hurt the reputations of kids who just got drafted by showing their conversations and taking sneaky pictures of them? She’s disgusting, literally inside and out.
    Props to CB for blacking out the draftees names and faces. While they aren’t exactly innocent, they got played by this whore and don’t deserve this.

  36. What a dumbass slut hahaha. If you looked up “shameless attention seeking whore” in the dictionary you’d get this pathetic piece of trash.

  37. Hope they all wore condoms! Guess this puck slut is gonna be easy to find…her nasty, gaping snatch is dragging on the ground and she’s leaving a trail of slime behind her for a mile long! And to think that if she had just stayed in the kitchen, no one would be calling her names today. Stupid whore.

  38. So this slept with a half dozen guys in one weekend, agreeing to it before she knew their names or even what they looked like. All that was important to her was that they were future NHLers.
    Wow, that’s messed up, and pathetic.
    Why do girls screw anyone with money and/or fame?

  39. ha, she gave CB the pics and texts after CB verbally berated her on an almost daily basis? what a fucking cunt rocket this bitch is.

  40. Fucking awesome. Girls like this make it tough to be a respectable female hockey fan. It’s one thing to put out, but a whole different story to put out for multiple guys in one weekend, then be proud of it.

  41. Sure, the world now knows she’s a slut.
    Yes, her family and future children will be ashamed of her.
    And of course, this will cause massive problems for any career she hopes to have.
    But…she’s added 700 followers on Twitter.
    So booyah!

  42. I can’t stop laughing at the “eye herpes” comment. Classic.
    If someone could either get her in trouble legally or send this to her parents home, that’d be great.

  43. Uhhh…Kyle; just so you know this individual admitted to a crime. She provided you with the factual evidence as well. You have an legal obligation to report it.

  44. Her parents probably know she’s a skank but I bet the parents of these dudes are going to be displeased. Oh yeah and she admittedly provided alcohol to minors. Before fucking them.

  45. Aaaand that didn’t take long for all of the names to appear online. A little perusing on the twitter is all it takes.

  46. this isnt the good samaritan law, y does he have to report her for buying booze?

  47. @thatguy
    He is no legally obligated, he is morally obligated, just ask PSU about the difference.

  48. It’s not just about buying the booze as an underage individual, or providing it to other underage individuals. She may have committed a sex crime as well. Pennsylvania’s age of consent is 16. HOWEVER, if you are over 18 and have sex with some who is under 18 years of age (say 17 years old), you can still get charged with a corruption of a minor. She is up shit’s creek without a paddle here.

  49. Just so you know I’m not blowing smoke up your ass, here is how it is stated: “The de jure (in name) age of consent in Pennsylvania is 16 years of age for sexual consent but a corruption of minors statute against adults corrupting the morals of minors under 18 years of age exists which makes the de facto (in fact) age of consent in Pennsylvania 18 years of age. However, the corruption of minors statute only applies to perpetrators 18 years of age and older, so it is legal for minors 16-17 to have sex with each other but not with a partner 18 or older.”

  50. I’ve been reading crossing broad for awhile and this is THEE best article I read on here! Bravo Kyle, Bravo!

  51. uhhhh so i pretended to be an NHL draft prospect just so i could hit it… fooled her heh

  52. I pretened to be an NHL draft prospect just so I could get it in. She was sloppy and amazing. heh fooled her

  53. I don’t know what’s worse …
    Kyle giving attention to this skank or repeatedly mentioning Bryce Harper as he continues to thrive leaving the Phillies fan base looking dumber.
    CB has gone down the shitter for sure.

  54. She made a “formal” apology and took all the blame in the Lupul deal on her shitty blog. What a majority of people outside of CB don’t know is just what Kyle was easily to get from her, besides VD, the fact that she fucked all those tweens.
    She honestly thinks there won’t be any repercussions.

  55. I love how she hashtags “#imhot” on the pic she sent Lupul.
    How delusional. Her body is meh and her face is beat. Guys give more attention to the easy ones than the hot ones, clown.

  56. i’d ask if she fucked crosby, but we all know he prefers the pole over the hole

  57. To the guy with the Branko Radivojevič name.
    Well done. Hats off to you sir.

  58. she made her twitter private so only people who already follow her can see it. HILARIOUS.

  59. She can make it private all she wants. If the cops need the info, they will find it. Not too much sass if she has to register as a sex offender

  60. Nothing legal will happen if no one presses charges, correct?

  61. This young lady is scared now. Twitter blocked, deleting comments from her blog. And as far as charges, that’s up the state. I’m no lawyer, but given that Crossing Broad has been furnished evidence of criminal conduct, I believe they’re required to furnish the information to the authorities.

  62. You better be sure here Kyle and cover your ass if it’s neccessary. I wouldn’t take any chances with the law.

  63. You know a woman is a whore when someone says to her “you want to be fucked by me” and she doesn’t reply with “fuck no”, etc. What a ho.

  64. I AM a lawyer, and was trying to give her advice until she deleted my comments from her personal blog- 1) Yes, Crossing Broad is obligated by law to report. I’m sure Kyle has a lawyer, so he really should get on that, 2) Charges CAN BE filed for a sexually related crime, even if none of the NHL players come forward. If any of them are in-fact 17, and she is 18-19 as she claims, it is a corruption of a minor charge under Pennsylvania’s strict sex laws, 3) The teams can actually go forward with pressing charges if they so choose, because the players are now their employees. However, that MIGHT open them up to punishment by the league for violating their policies on controlled substances (if the Commish wanted to be a dick, that is), 4) Anyone who knows her name can actually at least report her buying alcohol as a minor, and providing it to minors themselves (if they had a hard-on for getting a young woman in trouble. Me? Well I’d make money representing her, haha). Basically, she’s pretty screwed.

  65. cum guzzlers… gotta love em
    its a life lesson… condoms won’t stop the warts from spreading

  66. Hey, leave my girl alone. She told me I was the only one she was with…… but why am I player 77?? Ugh I got okey doked.

  67. This is some captivating shit right here. How fucked in the head do you have to be to think advertising how much of a whore you are is a good idea?

  68. So she bought booze, slept with a bunch of future-NHLers, and then sold out all the info.
    While yes, she’s a puck slut, I think we’re missing some of Kyle’s (potential) point.
    This wouldn’t happen in any other sport but hockey. More so, that these young men have come to expect broads to be like this.
    Why is it that we reprimand the puck slut, but not the player? I know she asked for it, and obviously played right into, but I’ve worked with a junior hockey club, and have seen players, first hand, expect nearly any broad to sleep with them because they are a hockey player and on their way to the show.
    Players are just as much responsible for this behaviour and asking for sex, booze, etc. as the puck sluts are for giving it. Its a mentality that requires a change on both sides.

  69. I have a buddy who is a die-hard Penguins fan, who, also, is need of a good lay….think she’d go for it…I think she may be his future meat curtain…i mean bride…

  70. What a dirty whore. Sleeping with that many guys and then taking pictures and screenshots to share her conquests with the world is absolutely disgusting. I feel bad for the kids involved…because after all…the majority of them are kids (that only think with their dicks). I am sure that mommy and daddy are proud of their little “princess” and maybe they can pay for the reconstructive surgery of her sagging, nasty ass vag.
    I didn’t realize prostitution was legal in Shittsburgh…because no matter how you slice it…that’s what this is. Sleeping with (several) minors and plying them with alcohol doesn’t exactly scream “law abiding citizen” either. I sure hope that someone takes this seriously and reports this bitch.

  71. How the hell did this chick get all these dudes numbers? Twitter? I can’t believe people like this actually exist. What’s the point? Does she think some of these dudes are gonna remember her when they’re rich successful NHL players? Yeah right. The ones who turn out to be good are totally gonna upgrade.

  72. @ Sugar Lew Bowen – thanks!
    If she likes football players, she can go to Avalon.

  73. oh god im player 121???? 120 have been in her before me. oh my god i didnt wrap up either ughhhhhhh

  74. First of all, gross. Straight up disgusting. That skank gives female hockey fans a bad name. I think it’s absolutely abhorrent that she posted the Lupul screenshot, and her behavior over the draft weekend is beyond sickening. Of course a bunch of 18yr old guys are going to jump to hang out with her, when it’s basically a given that she’ll put out to anyone on skates.
    Her Twitter account seems to be private now… is that so her friends and family won’t see how atrocious her behavior is? Every single one of those players who came in contact with her should get themselves tested, and hope to God she doesn’t turn up pregnant – that’s the last thing any of them need to start their career with – an illegitimate child with some puck slut who clearly has intent to destroy reputations.

  75. fuck! reading that article annoyed the hell out of me, i couldn’t even finish it. the sarcasm and shit talking in your writing is wayyy too much, seriously almost every other sentence rather then actually talking about what happened. you aren’t as funny as you think you are. also, that girl is a attention seeking whore.

  76. Wow unbelievable! Not sure I believe the Lupul one though. To have a conversation through direct message on Twitter, you have to BOTH be following each other and Lupul’s not following her. Ok maybe he was than unfollowed, but I don’t think so. He doesn’t follow fans, he barely follows anyone! She should’ve photoshopped it and made it seem like it was Biznasty, would’ve been more believable cuz he follows everyone lol. Either way…what a skank! Sure her parents are real proud!

  77. Kyle – really taking the vacation week to the max huh? I love this post, but recycling it a year later… commmmmeeeee owwwnnnnnn

  78. I forgot how hilarious this was.

    Someone married that Yinzer? That’s gross…

    LOL @ “Gummer”…

  79. You are one to talk? Yesterday and today you have done shit and we do not have a holiday until the 4th. I would get back to work before I move you off the phones and back to the mail room.

    1. Sorry sir, I’ll be sure to let you know when your 3-way male gang bang is here at 4pm to top you off.

  80. Must be a real winner to MARRY this girl after a couple months.

    His IG:


  81. Honestly, I wouldn’t mind a “post from the past feature.” Before this site completely gave over to commenters trolling Kyle 24/7, there were some hilarious exchanges. You know, back when our teams didn’t all blow.

  82. Sass has had a heck of a last 12 months..Boinking hockey players, brain surgery and now getting married to some schmo.

  83. Hey Kyle Twat, I signed with the flyers. Where’s my story bitch?

  84. haahahah I can’t believe she is married! I remember after this story came out and I insulted hr to start it somehow evolved into her wanted to come to Philly to see me? She’s nuts and I know the Flyers player that she had sex with at last year’s draft and let’s just hope he performs better on the ice than he does in bed.

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