The Phillies Twitter account makes me irrationally angry. They have no idea how social media works. Their Tweets are so disingenuous and they go completely against what makes social media so… social.

Compared to the old, one-to-many style of communication, social media is built on two-way communication, where brands and celebs are on the same level as their fans and followers. Where genuine interaction and conversation is valued above all else. Where obvious self-promotion takes a back seat to creative and engaging content. Yet the Phillies just can’t seem to get out of their own way with patronizing Tweets like this, from atop Mt. Montgomery, to the sheep peons who await the next 140 characters:

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You @’d yourself? WHO DOES THAT?!

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If you RT our lame promo advertising Spring Training tickets, you’ll be entered to win a free t-shirt? GO FUCK YOURSELF. Here’s a hashtag PhilliesPhriday idea: find a new Twitter guy– yours sucks.

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You see, Phillies Twitter guy, that’s radio copy. Not Twitter copy. Cold weather got you down? It’s not a fucking Alka Seltzer Plus commercial, it’s a Tweet to sports fans who, right now, are kinda fed up with your product.

This is FREE #advice to you #Phillies. #FreeFriday I would normally charge companies for this sort of intertube knowledge, but I’m giving it you gratis, because I care. Because I’m about to #UnfollowFriday my favorite team on Twitter. You’re #fucking welcome.