Stop the presses! Stop the presses, newspaperman! This doesn’t fit the narrative! THIS DOESN’T FIT OUR HACKY NARRATIVE, DAMMIT!
That’s the conversation I imagine taking place in many hypothetical newspaper printing plants around the globe when it was discovered that the three NFL fans stabbed last night weren’t in, from, around, in the general vicinity of, or wearing gear purchased in or near, Philly.
At least three people were stabbed in a parking lot at Sports Authority Field at Mile High after the Denver Broncos’ game Thursday night, police said.
Denver Police spokesman Steve Warneke said three males were stabbed, and a fourth may have been stabbed, but that person left the scene.
Police have several people in custody and are not currently looking for other suspects. None had been formally charged as of just after midnight.
The stabbing Thursday is just one of several recent incidents involving football fans.
Earlier this month in Kansas City, Mo., a man died after an altercation in the Arrowhead Stadium parking lot during Kansas City’s game against Denver.
In September in San Francisco, a teenage fan suffered a concussion and a broken arm and nose at Candlestick Park after police say he was attacked during the 49ers’ game against Indianapolis.
I am borderline shocked that the last line wasn’t about the Lions fan in Philly this week.
Still, the coverage, as of yet, hasn’t totally blown up, and that leaves even Philly hater Albert Breer miffed:
Kinda crazy that there was a quadruple stabbing outside an NFL game last night, and it doesn't seem to be getting all that much attention.
— Albert Breer (@AlbertBreer) December 13, 2013
Maybe, just maybe, it’s because blowhards like Breer only want to get wild with their coverage when bad things happen in a place like Philly.