And Now, “If This Was Philly”

Bowman
SOME DISGUSTING HUMAN BEINGS IN SEATTLE, WHERE IT ALWAYS RAINS AND TOO MANY PEOPLE LOVE MICROSOFT, COMMITTED THE DEPLORABLE AND REPREHENSIBLE ACT OF THROWING POPCORN – DANGEROUS KERNELS, POPPED! – AT NAVORRO BOWMAN AS HE WAS BEING CARTED OFF THE FIELD WITH A LIFE THREATENING KNEE INJURY– AN APPARENT TORN ACL. BESIDES BEING IN EXTREMELY POOR TASTE, WHO KNOWS WOULD HAVE HAPPENED HAD A PIECE OF JAGGED, SHARP AND POPPED CORN LANDED A DIRECT HIT. THIS IS ANOTHER CLOUD OVER SPORTS IN SEATTLE.

THIS REMINDS ME OF THE ONE TIME I FLEW OVER THE GREATER SEATTLE AREA ON AN APPROACH INTO VANCOUVER AND WITNESSED THE REGION’S INHABITANTS FILLING THEIR SUPER SOAKERS WITH RAIN WATER, BECAUSE, LIKE I SAID, IT ALWAYS RAINS SO MUCH IN THIS MISERABLE CITY, AND SQUIRTING CARS ON A FOUR-LANE HIGHWAY. AND I ONCE DATED A GIRL WHOSE BROTHER LIVED IN SEATTLE, WHERE GREY’S ANATOMY AND ELLEN POMPEO’S VAGINA ARE CONSIDERED “HIGH CULTURE.” HE LIKED GRUNGE ROCK AND COFFEE, AND I DETEST HIM FOR THAT.

There, did I do that right?

via Deadspin

Share on facebook
Facebook
Share on twitter
Twitter
Share on linkedin
LinkedIn
Share on email
Email

18 Comments

  • Caroline January 20, 2014 at 2:25 pm

    Do you honestly not think this is fucked up?

    Reply
  • Walter Sobchak January 20, 2014 at 2:25 pm

    This one is getting a good amount of press. Usually it doesn’t unless it’s here.

    Yes you’re doing it right.

    Reply
  • glen in glen mills boys school January 20, 2014 at 2:26 pm

    These Seattle fans are such menaces they even throw hard candy at their own players

    Reply
  • Douchebag Seattle Fan January 20, 2014 at 2:29 pm

    GET OVER IT, IT’S POPCORN! IF IT WAS IN PHILLY, IT WOULD’VE EITHER BEEN A D-CELL BATTERY OR A SNOWBALL WITH A D-CELL CORE! WE’RE THE BEST FANS ON EARTH! 12TH MAN FOREVER! YOU ALL SUCK!!

    Reply
    • Nicky Negadelphia January 20, 2014 at 3:27 pm

      You mental midget,you’re not from Seattle if you were you certainly would not be trolling a Philly sports blog.

      Reply
    • Brack Flyday Bundera January 20, 2014 at 3:28 pm

      Haha i am such an idiot. I started reading your comment without reading your commentor name, and I was getting so angry. I had scrolled my mouse over reply before I finally saw what your name was, and then I chuckled at how much of an ass I am. Well played sir, well played.

      Reply
  • Steelers fan stuck in philly January 20, 2014 at 3:20 pm

    At least they don’t throw snowballs at Santa & throw up on little girls

    Reply
    • Walter Sobchak January 20, 2014 at 3:23 pm

      Fans threw snowballs at the drunk that was supposed to be Santa Clause at halftime of a game in the 60’s…That was over 50 years ago and the guy was trashed and deserved it.

      The 16 year old trash bag that threw up on that kid was a stupid, underage kid from Jersey. I bet he was a fucking nihilist too that fat fuck.

      The actions of the few don’t denote the actions of the many. I wouldn’t expect your Yinzer brain to comprehend that though.

      Fucking. Amateur.

      Reply
    • Naht Funny January 20, 2014 at 3:31 pm

      Ah-booooooo. You suck. If your gonna come trolling, at least try to be creative you unfunny douche.

      Reply
  • Drew S January 20, 2014 at 5:43 pm

    Next time Dallas comes here I am going to pelt Tony Romo with popcorn. He better beware. That popcorn might cause a serious concussion if hits Tony’s helmet.

    Reply
  • Delco Trash January 20, 2014 at 6:21 pm

    I don’t understand why every time something like this happens we say, “This would be getting press if it happened in Philly.”

    These things happen everywhere and get covered every time. How else would we know about all this garbage if it didn’t receive national attention?

    We need to stop whining about how unfairly Philadelphia sports fans are treated. We’re only making it worse.

    Reply
  • Marvin Monroe January 20, 2014 at 8:34 pm

    “If this WERE Philly”

    Learn the subjunctive case.

    Reply
  • Mike Vick's Parole Officer January 20, 2014 at 8:58 pm

    Kyle,

    Let it go. Can anyone in their right mind argue that the majority of Eagle’s fans aren’t white trash cunts with beer muscles? “Duhhh we from Philly and we fight”

    Reply
  • MISSEYMIKEY OUTER LABIA January 21, 2014 at 12:10 am

    I like man cream and schmegma cock cheese on my popcorn. I WANT CHASE UTLEYS ASSCHEEKS IN MY FACE. THE WHOLE WORLD KNOWS IM QUEER EXCEPT ME. MY GAY LISP AND BALDSPOT IS SEXY. I BLEW HALF OF BRISTOL

    Reply
    • Moses January 21, 2014 at 12:19 am

      Thou shall not type belligerent drunken messages on CB.

      Reply
      • Angelo's Inner Voice January 21, 2014 at 12:29 am

        Maybe it’s Barkann trolling.

        .

        Reply
  • Oh the Humanity January 21, 2014 at 9:24 am

    Wish the eagles had a backer half as good as Bowman.

    Reply
  • Matt from Philly January 21, 2014 at 1:31 pm

    This would never happen in Philly, every ’round these parts knows Bo is a Penn State guy. Much respect for him, and Line Backer U

    Reply
  • Leave a Reply

    Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *