And Now, “If This Was Philly”

BowmanSOME DISGUSTING HUMAN BEINGS IN SEATTLE, WHERE IT ALWAYS RAINS AND TOO MANY PEOPLE LOVE MICROSOFT, COMMITTED THE DEPLORABLE AND REPREHENSIBLE ACT OF THROWING POPCORN – DANGEROUS KERNELS, POPPED! – AT NAVORRO BOWMAN AS HE WAS BEING CARTED OFF THE FIELD WITH A LIFE THREATENING KNEE INJURY– AN APPARENT TORN ACL. BESIDES BEING IN EXTREMELY POOR TASTE, WHO KNOWS WOULD HAVE HAPPENED HAD A PIECE OF JAGGED, SHARP AND POPPED CORN LANDED A DIRECT HIT. THIS IS ANOTHER CLOUD OVER SPORTS IN SEATTLE.

THIS REMINDS ME OF THE ONE TIME I FLEW OVER THE GREATER SEATTLE AREA ON AN APPROACH INTO VANCOUVER AND WITNESSED THE REGION’S INHABITANTS FILLING THEIR SUPER SOAKERS WITH RAIN WATER, BECAUSE, LIKE I SAID, IT ALWAYS RAINS SO MUCH IN THIS MISERABLE CITY, AND SQUIRTING CARS ON A FOUR-LANE HIGHWAY. AND I ONCE DATED A GIRL WHOSE BROTHER LIVED IN SEATTLE, WHERE GREY’S ANATOMY AND ELLEN POMPEO’S VAGINA ARE CONSIDERED “HIGH CULTURE.” HE LIKED GRUNGE ROCK AND COFFEE, AND I DETEST HIM FOR THAT.

There, did I do that right?

via Deadspin

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18 Responses

  1. This one is getting a good amount of press. Usually it doesn’t unless it’s here.

    Yes you’re doing it right.

  2. These Seattle fans are such menaces they even throw hard candy at their own players

  3. GET OVER IT, IT’S POPCORN! IF IT WAS IN PHILLY, IT WOULD’VE EITHER BEEN A D-CELL BATTERY OR A SNOWBALL WITH A D-CELL CORE! WE’RE THE BEST FANS ON EARTH! 12TH MAN FOREVER! YOU ALL SUCK!!

    1. You mental midget,you’re not from Seattle if you were you certainly would not be trolling a Philly sports blog.

    2. Haha i am such an idiot. I started reading your comment without reading your commentor name, and I was getting so angry. I had scrolled my mouse over reply before I finally saw what your name was, and then I chuckled at how much of an ass I am. Well played sir, well played.

  4. At least they don’t throw snowballs at Santa & throw up on little girls

    1. Fans threw snowballs at the drunk that was supposed to be Santa Clause at halftime of a game in the 60’s…That was over 50 years ago and the guy was trashed and deserved it.

      The 16 year old trash bag that threw up on that kid was a stupid, underage kid from Jersey. I bet he was a fucking nihilist too that fat fuck.

      The actions of the few don’t denote the actions of the many. I wouldn’t expect your Yinzer brain to comprehend that though.

      Fucking. Amateur.

    2. Ah-booooooo. You suck. If your gonna come trolling, at least try to be creative you unfunny douche.

  5. Next time Dallas comes here I am going to pelt Tony Romo with popcorn. He better beware. That popcorn might cause a serious concussion if hits Tony’s helmet.

  6. I don’t understand why every time something like this happens we say, “This would be getting press if it happened in Philly.”

    These things happen everywhere and get covered every time. How else would we know about all this garbage if it didn’t receive national attention?

    We need to stop whining about how unfairly Philadelphia sports fans are treated. We’re only making it worse.

  7. Kyle,

    Let it go. Can anyone in their right mind argue that the majority of Eagle’s fans aren’t white trash cunts with beer muscles? “Duhhh we from Philly and we fight”

  8. I like man cream and schmegma cock cheese on my popcorn. I WANT CHASE UTLEYS ASSCHEEKS IN MY FACE. THE WHOLE WORLD KNOWS IM QUEER EXCEPT ME. MY GAY LISP AND BALDSPOT IS SEXY. I BLEW HALF OF BRISTOL

  9. This would never happen in Philly, every ’round these parts knows Bo is a Penn State guy. Much respect for him, and Line Backer U

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