Yankees Signed Tanaka, Phils Still Justifying Abreu

Here's an exclusive image taken by quasi-CB photograph Dan, who watched Tanaka win the series while living with monks (who apparently own flatscreen TVs) in the hills of Koyasan. Really. We're international like that. And not to be insensitive, but I believe this is actually a pre-ported screenshot from Mario Superstars Baseball.
Here’s an exclusive image taken by quasi-CB photograph Dan, who watched Tanaka win the Japan Series while living with monks (who apparently own flatscreen TVs) in the hills of Koyasan. Really. We’re international like that. And not to be insensitive, but I believe this is actually a pre-ported screenshot from Mario Superstars Baseball.

Just in case you thought the Phillies had any chance at signing Masahiro Tanaka, the Japanese pitching sensation, think again. The Yankees (of course) have reached an agreement with Tanaka for seven years, $155 million, the fifth largest contract ever for a pitcher.

Meanwhile:

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From Philly.com:

“There aren’t a lot of lefthanded bats sitting out there, and not a lot of lefthanded bats that have the ability like Bobby, frankly,” Amaro said. “And when he started playing, we started watching. And as he continued to play, he got better and better. Clearly, he was dominating in Venezuela. Yeah, it was Venezuela, but it’s pretty competitive baseball and he continued to perform in the playoffs there, too.”

The same Venezuela team with criminal machete-wielder Ugueth Urbina. Good job, Rube.

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13 Responses

  1. Pathetic can you imagine spending your hard earned money on Phillies games when at times the Phillies are trotting out this old decrepid slop:

    40yr old Bobby Abreu
    37yr old Marlon Byrd
    35yr old Chase Utley
    35yr old Jimmy Rollins
    35yr old Carlos Ruiz
    34yr old oft-injured Ryan Howard

    damn they’re old(SMDH).

  2. If rube, uncle Dave & these penny pinching owners had any balls they would of signed this nip. Imagine all the extra ticket sales from the Asian community too smfh

  3. rube is a boob. he killed this team. Only in Philadelphia could a team finally break a 25 year championship drought and at that point totally ruin that team and making it a laughing stock once again. .

  4. Why take a chance on Tanaka for insane when he’d be lucky to get 2 runs support from our geriatric offense? Dice K had one good season and Kei Igawa is back in Japan after sucking balls in the NYY system for a few years. Darvish is the recent exception.

  5. That contract offer for Tanaka is insane (and expected by the Yankees). Too much of an unknown for that big a contract in my opinion.

  6. Also I noticed the EAGLES COULD HAVE WON NFC by Marcus Hayes on the cover, I can only assume the article involves comparing Foles to Hoying and Vick to Peyton.

  7. they put it on page 53! how clever. Maybe this will still be a fun season. like major league 2. a lovable group of cut-ups that have some ups and downs, but ultimately make it to the world series. Rube kind of reminds of roger dorn in the movie.

    1. Make it to the world series,dude put the bath salts away this team is a train wreck waiting to happen.

  8. Ruin Tomorrow Jr. complete undid everything Pat Gillick worked towards. Gillick traded away this shitbag because he was lazy! The mentality changed when Gillick traded some clubhouse cancers. Now Ruin wants a reunion tour.

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