Evan Turner Has “Mud Butt” Since He Refused to Wipe His Ass with Spencer Hawes’ Obama Toilet Paper

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There’s a headline I… totally expected to write one day.

I wish I had more commentary to add, but I’m still recovering from my snow day decision to drink my homemade jalapeño infused tequila and top it off with a neighbor’s home-brewed saison and tripel. If you need me, I’ll either be cleaning the bathroom or curled up in the corner wearing sunglasses and sipping on a warm Coke. Happy Valentine’s Day.

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72 Responses

  1. You drank what? I can’t figure out if you’re a hipster or upper class. I’m gonna go have a normal beer now

    1. I’m a blue collar guy. I have no idea what that bullshit is anyway. And by normal beer, I mean any mass-produced American beer that faggots like you turn your nose up at

  2. Man up and go get a bloodymary… And then more tequila. You’ll be back on your feet in no time. Act like you’ve been there before man.

  3. You’re such a dork. You love telling people about you’re drinking adventures. No one cares. How old are you, 18?

    I remember my first beer.

  4. You’re such a dork. You love telling people about your drinking adventures. No one cares. How old are you, 18?

    I remember my first beer.

    1. I know; I remember when I would count how many drinks I had just to say oh boy I drank half a case of beer! That was a lifetime ago.

  5. Man, the office of the presidency really doesn’t get any respect since Watergate. I hope Turner used one of Hawes’ washclothes or towels, LOL!

  6. So typical of todays wreckless conservative: A white guy who plays in a primarily black sport, who presumably has lots of black friends at his place, doesnt see anything wrong with having said black friends wipe their ass with the face of the first black president.

    Not sure if this was an inside joke, and certainly not all conservatives are like this, but hes still retarded.

    1. It doesn’t take a republican or a democrat to see that Obama is a shitty president. Now he will be literally shitty instead of just figuratively.

      1. Im not making it about race. Im not calling him a racist and I’m not calling ET a victim. Theres a difference between playing the race card and calling out a guy for not thinking for two seconds and using common fucking sense.

        1. I’m calling him a racist. Not just because of this. Spencer Hawes is a bitch just like any ignorant conservative who claims Philly. Move somewhere else. Boston has a lot of racists. I’m sure they’ll take you.

      2. Fact is, when we’re discussing the first black American president, it is about race. (Also not calling Hawes a racist, since you can’t understand the difference apparently). In this country we do have to consider race because of our history. You’re just too damn stupid/scared to wrap your brain around that fact. But you call people fucktards anyway, and fortunately the only forum where people need to be aware of your moronic opinion is on a sports blog comments section.

        I come here for the sports news and probably shouldn’t respond to you morons but sometimes I can’t help myself. Catch a damned clue you idiot.

        1. Fran, this is the LAST place you should be coming for sports news. Haven’t you figured that out yet? No wonder Temple b-ball is in the shitter!

          .

        2. You make it about race, I don’t think he’s any different than any other person in office. Like Kyle said about the gay kid Sam, it shouldn’t be a big deal but it is because the media and the public turn these things into circuses.

    2. What does skin color have to do it? You’re like a mouthpiece for the liberals. You do whatever they tell you to don’t you?

      1. “I’m white and since I dont see a problem with wiping my ass with Obamas face, black people that most likely have a completely different perspective on the matter will obviously will see it the same way as me and not have a problem with it.” – BobbyD

        The definition of white priviledge right there. And I know that in lieu of any legitimate argument youll just go off on some arbitrary rant about liberals and the “liberal” media, so I’ll spare you the trouble: No, I’m not a liberal, I’m a conservative.

        1. People who use the term “white privilege” are the worst perpetrators of white guilt. Kill your whole bloodline, then yourself

  7. First off im not a big Obama fan either but i love how he gets ripped for doing nothing to help this country but Bush gets forgotten so easily. They both sucked but dont act like its just Obamas fault this country is in the state its in (directly towards people like Hawes and the rest of those conservative people). Having toilet paper of a rival team is cool, the president? No its just pathetic

    1. How the fuck does Bush get forgotten?? He gets bashed all the time still and hasn’t been the president in years despite the great job he did under the circumstances and fixing all that Clinton messed up. The real truth is Obama is a terrible president and gets a pass cause he’s black and people like you and the liberal media are scared to say anything negitive about the first black president. Go adobt a lesbian black baby you fucking bleeding heart

      1. Great job???? Someones been watching a little too much Fox News. Remember that whole Iraqi War he started bc he couldnt find Bin Laden? Not only did Obama end that, thus saving this country more money and lives, but he found Bin Laden and killed him.

        1. Yes, I’m sure Obama himself was instrumental in finding Bin Laden. It had nothing to do with the special forces 10-year (or whatever it was) search finally paying off. Once again CM, you have proven yourself to be a dope.

          Informed, YOU have hit the nail on the head. January 2017 can’t get here soon enough.

          .

          1. I noticed you skipped over the part about Obama ending the pointless Iraqi War. The one your dope president started that killed thousands of our soldiers and for what? Not to mention how much wasted money was used for that

          2. Yes, I skipped over it, because I was fixated on the last line of your comment. The fact that you could not refute my response to you (re: Obama & Osama) tells me all I need to know about you.

            Go sit by the TV and wait for further instructions on how to think from your CNN mentors.

            .

          3. i think you mean MSNBC but sure…..i wont waste your time you prolly have a white power rally to get to with the rest of your extreme right winged friends

          4. maybe someone should just be thankful they didn’t lose a friend or family member fighting a war that if we were a true democracy and let every American vote if we should/shouldn’t go to war…..we wouldn’t …. ???

            Every president sucks. You are also crazy if you think a President has any true control…..Obama tries one executive order and people go ape shit even tho Bush/Reagan each executed 300+ executive orders. Until a president is pulling off 1000 executive orders…how can you say they have control? It’s about having all 3 branches on the same page or shit doesn’t get done (cough cough government shutdown).

          5. Well, Obama was the one who made the call for the raid, even though everyone else in the room, including Sec. of Defense Robert Gates (republican) advised against it.

            But yeah, he gets no credit because (insert mindless Fox News Kenyan colonial Marxist socialist Muslim line here).

      2. Lol yeah Bush did a helluva great job taking the surplus that Clinton left us with and sending it on an 8 year spiral down the shitter…

        So its kind of ironic that you claim Bush was the president who had to do the best he could cleaning up his predecessor’s mess… Cause, ya know, its not like Obama came into office on the heels of a recession, crumbling auto and housing markets, massive deficit that was twice what it is now, and two wars–all of which was a result of his predecessor. And its not like he had to deal with congressional republicans who have ventured so far to the extreme right in their attempts to sabotage and not help him or anything.

    1. Nice to see you’re back and still hijacking people’s handles. Though I am highly educated on politics, the last thing I would post on a crossing broad is a political-charged rant. So, nice attempt by you yet again to pose as another. Would you just focus more on get laid already and focus less with stealing handles. Fucking douche!

  8. Obama’s a pretty terrible leader but this sort of thing is disrespectful to the Office which I don’t approve of at all.

    1. Oh, well if YOU don’t approve of it, the rest of us better get our shit together!

      .

      1. I feel the same about the idiot athletes who decide to “take a stand” and refuse to visit the White House after a sports championship if they disapprove of the guy in charge. Fuck you guys, the President just invites you guys to be polite and to look like a regular joe that likes sports for the voting public…he doesn’t give a damn about some moron’s political views.

  9. OMG You Guys!!! Jeff Carter scored a hat trick in 12 minutes against Austria. He’s so good the flyers never should’ve traded him. Even though that Voracek and Couturier have a lower combined cap hit, I’d still rather have Jeff Carter. Just like he was the main reason the Kings won the cup, he’ll be the main reason if Canada wins the good. You type OBers have to stop drinking the kool aide… On a unrelated note, Villanova is a legitimate top 5 team, and Cliff Lee is the best pitcher in the NL… Also I don’t understand what the phrase “being on someone’s dick means.”

  10. Obama & Bush 2 puppets for the Zionists/International Bankers/Multi National Corporations/Military Industrial Complex says:

    Those of us in the know that Bush Jr was a puppet but for you Obama fanboys if yoy believe for one second he is any different you are sadly mistaken.

    Obama was supposed to be the anti-war President,wrong just look at the mayhem he has caused in Libya killing tens of thousands of innocent civilians when he lied and said Gaddafi had to go when the reason was Gaddafi just like Saddam Hussein was about to sell oil in another form of currency(African Dinar based in gold) and now Libya is in the hands of al-qaeda/al-ciada pedophile rapist terrorists.

    And in Syrian the US along with IZRAHELL Saudi Arabia Turkey Qatar France and Britain is funding arming and training flesh eating Sunni mercenaries to destroy Syria from within because they dare not attack Syria because Syria is backed by Russia China and Iran all in an effort to remove Assad so the gas pipeline can run right through Syria on behalf of the tiny Persian gulf nation of Qatar.
    Wake up sheeple wake up!

    www syrianperspective.
    SANA(SyrianArabNewsAgency)
    syrianfreepress
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    farsnewsagency
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    Veteranstoday
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    Want real news look up the above mentioned websites

    1. All true. But any hate towards barry is completely justified. Liar, devil worshipper, hypocrite, drug addict, etc.
      Dont you feel bad for these liberals who are so lost?

    2. Obama blah-blah-blah Complex,

      You DO know that Kyle’s not paying you by the word. Is there a nickname you would have us refer to you as? Can we shorten it to Obama?

      .

    3. Hey Guy,

      Next time you decide to post a Man-Behind-the-Curtain conspiracy diatribe, please at least review the Schoolhouse Rock VHS before you start spouting The Truth. Would it kill ‘ya to use a comma once in a while?!

    1. Sorry, it’s taken me 2 weeks to settle down after seeing all the hosebags at the Wing Bowl (TM), before I can relate intelligently to the real charming ladies of Philly like Dei and Leslie (oh, and Rhea, I guess).

      To your question, Dei is a lovely woman, and I wouldn’t mind taking a run at her (if I wasn’t married, of course).

      .

      1. Angelo, behave yourself. Just because I display lots of cleavage while at work doesn’t mean I’m going to let everyone grope me.

        .

  11. I wonder what Kyle’s wife does for a living. Does she get up and leave for work while he sits at home on his on ass?

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