Voila_Capture 2014-02-21_09-50-13_AM

“I SHOUUULLLLLLDAAAAA USSSSSEEDDDD AAHHHH GRROOOOOCERRY BAAAAAG”

The Buck Country Courier Times reports on a possible HERPES outbreak at Parx (surprisingly, patient zero wasn’t from the penny slot area):

The Pennsylvania Department of Agriculture has quarantined 74 horses at Parx Casino and Racetrack in Bensalem after one tested positive for a type of equine herpes.

Barns 19 and 32 were quarantined Saturday as a precautionary measure, and no other horses are showing signs of the virus, officials said, adding there is no threat to people.

Equine Herpes virus Type 1 is “mildly contagious” among horses and symptoms of the disease can range from respiratory to neurological impairment.

Nayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. Ittttt buuuuuuurns, Willlllllbuuuurrrrrrr. IT BURRRRNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNS. I CANNNN’T BREEEEEEEEAAAAATHHHHHHHHHE. WHERRRRRRRREEEEE AMMMM IIIIIII? NAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! HMRRRRPHHHH.

Jesus Christ. This sounds terrible. Respiratory symptoms to neurological impairment? What the hell? Humans get herpes and its managed with some good meds and a little cream. A horse gets it and he can’t breathe and loses all cognitive ability. Fuck. Being put out to stud always sounded so appealing if you’re a horse… but maybe it’s best to just keep racing and then find a willing owner:

http://youtu.be/PaZA99HkfVA

http://youtu.be/tIUrKT_jHPE