The Phillies: Yes, We’re Snitches

Voila_Capture 2014-02-20_08-30-24_AM
The Phillies released a terse statement about their involvement in ratting out draft pick Ben Wetzler to the NCAA. Wetzler will be suspended for 20% of his team’s games.

The statement, via Matt Gelb:

“The Phillies did participate in the NCAA investigation and a ruling has been issued. We believe it is inappropriate to comment further on either the negotiation with the player or the action taken by the NCAA.”

The Phillies have the worst PR department of any sports team in the city. Not even close. Can you think of another local team that has continually tried to fuck a buttery beach ball the way the Phillies have the last couple of years? They’re always behind the story and trying to cover up silly little missteps. Like the 24-7 news cycle doesn’t exist. Like it’s 19 fucking 92. All of the information used to come from us and was leaked to cooperative reporters in dimly lit hotel bars on long road trips! How are people getting all this news now?!?!?! WHY DO THEY KNOW THINGS?

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22 Comments

  • bleh February 22, 2014 at 1:40 pm

    This is really astounding. Remember when the Phillies PR was the best in the city, and the Eagles had the worst? At point did this completely switch? It’s amazing to me how this dynamic has shifted.

    Reply
  • Yuuuuuup February 22, 2014 at 2:08 pm

    I’d like to order 5 XL “We lost 5-0 in the bronze medal game” t-shirts please. Please let me know when they are available.

    Reply
    • Lumpy7 February 23, 2014 at 10:43 am

      And like the team they all should be Small.

      Reply
  • Juniata Ray February 22, 2014 at 4:06 pm

    This post adds nothing to an original non-story in the first place.

    Funny that there’s never a post about something going wrong recently. Creighton #2, Canada wins, and a drubbing by the Fins.

    Can’t say that everyone already knows what happened since we all knew US beat Russia. And had like 10 stories on that single game and made a shirt for it.

    Oh well. Saw Scott Hartnell at Yakitori Boy the other day. He sang Break Stuff by Limp Bizkit……….

    Reply
  • Chet Steadman February 22, 2014 at 4:40 pm

    The Mount Rushmore of dudes Kyle would love to blow(recently updated):

    Jeff Carter
    Jay Wright
    Justin Timberlake
    TJ Oshie

    Reply
    • Angelo's Inner Voice February 22, 2014 at 4:42 pm

      Now we just need the Mt Rushmore lists for Ashley Wagner and Sara Lockard.

      .

      Reply
  • Angelo's Inner Voice February 22, 2014 at 4:41 pm

    Wait, where in the story above do the Phillies say “Yes, we were snitches”? They simply said they were cooperating with an investigation.

    Did anyone stop to think that maybe the kid and his agent were pulling a J.D. Drew / Scott Boras hardball/dick-fest, and the Phillies just decided to teach a punk a lesson?

    On one hand, if the Phillies were goaded into it, you’d think Amaro would have said so by now. But on the other hand, if the Phillies were outright pricks, I wpould have expected the kid, his parents and agent to threaten a lawsuit against the Phillies for depriving him of part of his senior year.

    WHY ISN’T THERE ANY “JOURNALIST” IN THIS TOWN THAT WILL GET TO THE BOTTOM OF BOTH SIDES OF THE STORY? EVERYONE SEEMS CONTENT TO BLAST AMARO AND THE PHILLIES FOR BEING PRICKS.

    (That being said, ripping Amaro is one of my favorite pasttimes)

    .

    Reply
    • Benny blanco February 23, 2014 at 12:11 pm

      No dummy, he was a 5th round pick, not a high priced free agent being represented by boras. He clearly didn’t want 5th round money and wanted to go back to school.

      You can’t really threaten a law suit when you pretty clearly broke the rules, even if the rules are idiotic

      Lesson over

      Reply
  • Bill conlin February 22, 2014 at 9:49 pm

    You answered your own question the Phillies were the goat in this and you know it. This is basically the same organization without Ruben amaro that drafted JD Drew when JD drew told them straight faced not to draft him. The Phillies are a bad organization especially for being a big market team.nobody would do half the shit that they do that is their right mind.

    Reply
  • Leisure Suit Larry Mendte February 22, 2014 at 10:44 pm

    It’s the going to be 1983 – mid 2000’s all over again. It’s a garbage organization that made one or two good hires, Arbuckle and Gillick, then handed iver the keys to their son with downs. The worst thing that can happen is that they don’t lose 99+ this year and we’re stuck with one of the worst GMs in MLB.

    Reply
    • Frog February 23, 2014 at 3:13 pm

      Agreed. This team can easily lose 90-100 games once Howard’s legs explode for the 12th time, Utley misses his obligatory month or two, Papelbon going nuclear shitting on his own locker room and J-Stroll competing with Abreu for most apathetic. I just want Rube gone so we can start fresh.

      Reply
  • Coming to you live from Senior Citizens Bank Park February 23, 2014 at 2:38 am

    Wake me up when NFL free agency gets here.

    Reply
  • It's 6am, Do you know where your Tollefson is February 23, 2014 at 7:43 am

    Don’t forget Don Tollefson storage shed auction on Monday. Be there or be square.

    Reply
  • James B February 23, 2014 at 9:16 am

    That photo accompanies 3 headlines a week on crossing broad.

    Reply
    • Lumpy7 February 23, 2014 at 11:10 am

      Yea there needs to be a “Retirement” post for that pic. Minute of silence, all that shit. Then we never see it again.

      Reply
  • 97.5 director of hiring February 23, 2014 at 2:49 pm

    “Can you think of another local team/business that has continually tried to fuck a buttery beach ball the way the Phillies have the last couple of years? ”

    Have you seen my on-air staff lately?

    Reply
    • WIP Head Honcho February 23, 2014 at 3:58 pm

      Do you wanna trade? My employees are equally moronic, but probably make more due to their longevity.

      .

      Reply
  • Mike Vick's Parole Officer February 23, 2014 at 4:07 pm

    Is anyone worse than Hollis Thomas? The guy just chuckles for 4 hours like a mental patient.

    Reply
  • oh god I can't breathe February 23, 2014 at 9:51 pm

    “continually tried to fuck a buttery beach ball” <– I'm dying over here

    Reply
  • animplosion February 24, 2014 at 9:23 am

    How comes monkeys can’t read or do math and most end up in jail at the end of the day but you guys still worship them?

    Reply
    • Mikey Mess February 24, 2014 at 9:49 am

      And by “:monkeys”, do you mean professional athletes?

      .

      Reply
    • Marcus Vik February 24, 2014 at 9:51 am

      You better not be sayin wat I think you be sayin!

      .

      Reply

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